Gorilla199

	“	ALL TV & "MAINSTREAM MEDIA" ARE BANNED FROM USING ANY OF OUR VIDEOS	„
	—Chris, on his youtube user page sticking it to the man.

Chris and Louise want to sing you a song. Is it about Jesus you ask? It fucking is you know!

gorilla199, aka Chris Constantine is a 50 year old Christian YouTuber and anti-NWO oracle from London. Along with his sexy sidekick, Louise, their divine mission is to warn planet earth of the the impending end of the world when intergallactic demons come from the planet Nibiru when the LHC or Satan's Stargate creates a portal or some shit. Also to distribute pirate DVDs and knock-off clothes for easy cashprofit.

Early Life

Chris was a heavy user of methamphetamine through his teen years and avoided jail time by an agreement to attend rehabilitation. Unfortunately, he would later join a religiously motivated rehab group, and due to the irreversible brain damage sustained, took their stances to insane ideas far beyond what they had intended and he was subsequently kicked out. He was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia at the age of 20, but refused treatment. Being deemed unfit to function on his own in society, and of permanently unsound mind in a court of law, he was left under the care of his wife Louise as his legal guardian, who barely met the limits of sound mind herself, suspected of abusing hallucinogenics.

Beliefs

A typical Tare, relaxing after a hard day's bringing about the apocalypse by drawing triangles in Tesco.

Chris' beliefs are strangely similar to those of David Icke, another, more globally successful anti-NWO warrior, but are much more bible based.

• Satan lives on the planet Nibiru along with lizard men called Tares, who are total dicks.
• Tares also live on earth, disguised as humans.
• Freemasons, who make up 20% of the world's population and own 99% of businesses are in league with the Tares and Satan.
• Institutions and businesses can be identified as Masonic by their use of triangles, semicircles or disks in company logos, building designs, even dance steps.
• Satan invented the wooly mammoths to kill the human race, since God doesn't make dangerous animals.
• The sun and the moon are the same size.
• The Nazi party were formed to fight Jesus two thousand years ago in Nazereth. That's where the "Naz" bit comes from.
• The BBC are dicks.
• Anyone who has the courage to voice their disagreement with him is a freemason. No exceptions.

Chris's logic: if you defend freemasons, then you are obviously one of them. NO FUCKING EXCEPTIONS.

• Triangles, circles, and x's are satanic.
• Any religion besides christianity is satanic.

LHC: Satan's Stargate

Chris' important work spreading the word goes back a while on YouTube but he brought himself to the attention of a lot of people in April 2008 when he posted the following video:

	“	I believe this huge gadget is being built for one purpose only and that is to disrupt a hole in the Van Allen Belt which surrounds the Earth. What for? To allow the return of the Anunnaki from the Planet Nebiru, in order for them to come here, corrupt the rest of the earth, and do battle with God at Armageddon.	„
	—gorilla199, on the LHC and how we're all doomed.

	“	We're also told that it could create "strange matter". Well what's that supposed to mean? Wh-wh-what is "strange matter"? The only thing that could be "strange" coming to this earth would be the Nephalim and Satan.	„
	—gorilla199, fully understanding the nomenclature of particle physics and drawing a completely rational conclusion from it.

A more commonly held belief is that Chris is off his meds again, however for those of you who didn't want to subject yourself to the tl;dw life changing warning of our peril:

• The LHC is built, by complete bastards, to rip a hole in the Van Allen Belt.
• Its a satanic lie to take you away from Jesus and on to a particle.
• When you say something is strange you mean Satanic. NO FUCKING EXCEPTIONS.
• EU Building built in same pattern as Tower of Babel.
• You can tell him he's nuts if you like. He will totally respect your opinion.

Things which are Satanic

Kill the jews. For their UFO hats naturally.

People who make this hand signal are obviously Freemasons.

To help others identify Satan/space lizards in our every day lives Chris gives compelling explanations in his videos why the following are satanic forces:

• Posh English accents, because they are described as "charming". "Charm" like a witch's magic charm. YOU FUCKING LIMEYS USING MAGIC CHARMING ACCENTS TO PUT A SPELL ON PEOPLE I KNEW IT GODDAMN I HATE YOU!
• Unicorns and Pegasus, the term for winged horse actually means UFO in the same way a car is a horseless carriage. FLYING MAGIC HORSES ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED??? THEY ARE SPACESHIPS THAT FLY THROUGH THE SKY WITH SATANS LIZARDS ON BOARD. IF YOU SEE PEGASUS SHOOT THAT FUCKER DOWN I AM SERIOUS!!
• The BBC, title screens for news reports have imagery not dissimilar to UFOs decending to earth. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH RUNNING THAT NEWS PIECE ON HIM SELLING PIRATE STUFF AND ANYWAY HE WASNT SELLING THEM!!
• Damien Hirst, the artist recently created a golden calf as famously mentioned in the bible. THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY THAT THIS COULD BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME FUCKING SHIT THOSE FUCKERS PULLED ON MOSES AND THOSE BBC NEWS FUCKERS EVEN TOOK A PHOTO OF IT AS A NEWS PIECE.
• The Lunar landing, the astronauts showed Masonic symbols and was obviously faked as rockets can't even work in space. FFFFFFUUUUUUUUU I WATCHED THAT AND IT WAS OBVIOUSLY BALLS BECAUSE BUZZ ALDRIN AND NEIL ARMSTRONG DIDNT LOOK LIKE THEY HAD FUN WHEN THEY CAME BACK. FUCK THOSE GUYS!!
• The LHC, as it was designed to open a hole in the Van Allen belt, allowing Satan to return. DONT GET ME STARTED ON THIS ONE ITS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING DEATHSTAR AND DID 911 AND EARTHQUAKES I HATE LHC SO MUCH!!
• Freemasons, they help the space lizards and they run about 99% of all businesses and can easily be spotted by any triangles disks or domes in their logos. ESPECIALLY THIS WEBSITE WHICH CLEARLY HAS UFO SYMBOL FOR A LOGO DONT THINK I CANT SEE YOUR SPECIAL WRITINGS YOURE ALL FUCKING FREEMASONS HELPING SPACE LIZARDS ITS SO OBVIOUS!!
• The Rocky Horror Picture Show, there is a huge amount of satanic/masonic symbolism in the dance routine for The Time Warp. TAKE A STEP TO THE LEFT?? WHY?? SO YOU CAN FUCKING ENSLAVE MANKIND?? FUCK YOU IF YOU TAKE A STEP ANYWHERE NEAR ME ILL RIP YOUR FUCKING LEGS OFF AND BEAT YOU WITH THEM TARES!!
• President Barack Hussein Obama, since there are only 33 degrees in Freemasonry, Obama being the 44th President of the United States is obviously a super high up freemason. THERE ARE SQUIGGLY LINES UNDER HIS NAME, SQUIGGLY LIKE THE FUCKING MOTHERSHIP TAKING OFF!! ARMOURPLATED DEVILMOBILE TRANSFORMER HE DRIVES INSIDE THE FUCKING DEVIL IN LIMO FORM!!!
• David Icke AND Sherry Shriner, David Icke's book "I Am Free" really means "I Am Free Of God", and Sherry Shriner sells magic rocks which are blasphemous against Jesus and a "Shriner" is another name for a witch. YOU THINK YOU CAN TITLE YOUR FUCKING BOOKS I AM FREE OF GOD AND SELL MAGIC ROCKS TO PEOPLE? NO I DON'T WANT YOUR DEVIL ROCKS YOU WITCH!!
• Internet trolls, If the people trolling you have a username containing 666, XXX, or OOO, or if they have a channel background or icon with swirls or fangs, it means they are masonic space lizards who actually double as internet trolls when they aren't busy planning world domination. HAHA I KNEW IT YOU FUCKING xxxIDIOTSxxx YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD FUCKING MAKE ME LOOK BAD WELL I KNOW YOUR EVIL PLAN AND YOU CALLING ME A PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC MORON WON'T SAVE YOU FROM JESUS!!!
• URLs, in roman numerals, "WWW" = "VV VV VV" = "X X X". Dots were also used as writing the number 6, or the lowercase Greek letter Sigma, and "COM" = "CO M" = "1000 1000" = HELIUS HELIUS", resulting in "XXXSS HELIUS HELIUS", which is an evil Satanic chant. I CAUGHT YOU RED-HANDED BILL GATES TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE TYPE A FUCKING CHANT TO SUMMON SATAN ANY TIME THEY WANT TO VISIT A WEBSITE WELL FUCK YOU I AIN'T BUYING IT YOU FILTHY FREEMASON!!
• Throwing shoes, "George Bush" is an anagram of "Bugger, Shoe!" Therefore the shoe throwing Iraqi guy is a freemason and George's family purposely christened him that to fulfil the prophesy of shoe dodging. It should also be noted that "Chris Constantine" is an anagram of "Antichrist's Nonce"[1], nonce being cockney for pedo. Chris will love you if you inform him of this. HOLY SHIT LIKE YOU CAN MAKE WORDS FROM WORDS THEY CALLED HIM BUGGER SHOE!!!
• "Hats", hats are like UFOs. ALSO JEWS WEAR HATS!!
• The College Sorority Alpha Chi Omega, you just know those sorority girls are up to no good, specifically masonic space lizard conspiracy-type no good. What with their sundresses and high heels and spiffed up philanthropy events... clearly out to destroy god.

Things which are not Satanic

THIS IS A WEIGHTED COMPANION CUBE. IT IS MADE OF CUBE AND JESUS

• Chris Constantine.
• Louise Constantine.
• Jesus.
• Guitars.
• Geometric patterns which are neither triangles nor disks.
• Possibly mongooses, devourers of the snake; the gayest and least legged of the reptile kingdom.

Mental Illness

	“	How do we flush out theses Freemasons and Tares? It's very very simple, you do what I do. You walk into a shop, you see, for instance, whether they have an Illuminati triangle, or they have a half dome or an X or any other Masonic symbol outside their shop. Or inside their shop, and trust me 99% of all businesses are run by Freemasons and Tares. Just go in, buy what you're going to buy, and casually mention to the person there, who may just be a worker though, so you won't get no reaction if they're just a worker and they don't know. But if it's the owner, say to him "There's a lot of flying saucer symbolism in your shop, why is that?" You will watch the blood drain from their face before your very eyes.	„
	—Chris, on the correct way to "casually" harass the local greengrocer about having anything suspiciously triangular on premises.

This actually happened.

As hard as it is to believe, some people, namely the medical staff that diagnosed him, and presumably the shop assistants he shakes down about their triangular decor consider Chris to be seriously mentally ill.

Piracy

Chris outside court. Note the black background, which is more important than criminal charges.

Enhanced photo, clearly showing what the media edited out.

A common misconception about the batshit insane is that they are also brilliant. gorilla199 disproved this by running a pirate DVD market stall (sold 12 dvds on different occasions to police) in London to fund his great work, although he maintains that he didn't actually sell anything.

	“	There's a picture of me, quite a good picture of me, I must say, if you look at the picture, you'll see that the background is completely black, but there is sunshine on my shoulders. And it was confirmed again in court on that stand, that that picture had been doctored by the local newspaper.	„
	—Chris, proving that the venue for the trial was not in the infinite vaccuum of space, thereby clearing his name.

However, luckily for Chris, the lies of the evil reptilian space men worked in his defence when he was given a lenient sentence of community service.

	“	Defence barrister Michael Phillips said Constantine was suffering from a serious psychiatric condition and had been at the time of the offences. Judge Stephen Warner imposed a 12 month jail sentence, which he suspended for two years. He also ordered Constantine to carry out 280 hours unpaid work and made it a condition of his two year supervision by probation that he received treatment for mental health problems.	„
	—BBC News

Chris' Missus

Chris' wife speaks in tongues, and can often be found filled with The Holy Spirit as observed in this completely spontaneous, Blair Witch-esque video.

	“	Oh Lord...thank you...*hic*...	„
	—Louise, not drunk.

His music

Chris and Louise are not merely limited to making documentaries on youtube and use other mediums to alert the public of the Nibiru threat, most notably through song. Charles Manson had his lyrics of The Beatles as prophesies of the apocalypse caused by black people, Chris has the Rocky Horror Show and Freemasons, proving that even at his most badshit insane, everything he sells, does or even imagines is a cheap knock-off:

	“	Let's do the-mark-of-the-beast again.	„
	—Chris, at 5:35, wittily improvising lyrics.

	“	Don't wanna be an aliens idiot One World run by your media Aint gonna be a human fruitcake Just who do you think you are mate Get ready for a new paranoia Jesus Christ is comin for ya Your all gonna be destroyed The fire will make ya blaze These are the E-e-e-en-days	„
	—Chris, totally not ripping off Green Day's American Idiot at all.

Agent Gorilla199: Undercover Space Lizard!

Even on holiday, Chris and Louise are on call, fighting intergallactic space lizards that invite them into their homes. Going deep undercover as tourists, they managed to uncover a Jamaican sect of space lizard freemasons. What may, to the layman look like an ordinary tourist trap is, in fact rich with masonic overtones.

Surprisingly the pair escaped with their lives despite informing the man with satanic triangle shaped beard patch that they expose freemasons, and, given the demonic nature of Tares, suggests that either satan didn't mention that they were coming or that satanic space lizards are dumb as shit.

Criticism

Trolling is serious business, Chris will see you in court

Due to the extremely mindblowing nature of Chris' exposé of the lizard menace, a high level of Masonic defamation was to be expected and, using other YouTube accounts, attack pages, the National Health System, the British Broadcasting Corporation and the British courts, Satan's forces have launched a full campaign against him to discredit Chris' theory. It is also important to note that he has redefined trolling as the act of disagreeing with or criticizing him.

Alternative Theories

Raptor Jesus, the opposing theory.

The dominant opposing theory to Satanic space lizards is that Jesus Christ was in fact a reptile himself. The Raptor Jesus theory, points to the compelling amount of dinosaur fossils in the world, compared to absoluteley no certified crashed UFOs or alien remains uncovered to date.

gorilla199 vs. TheAmazingAtheist

On 20 February 2009, a space lizard stuffed into a fatsuit with a neckbeard attempted to discredit Chris' divine message point by point. Despite making accusations about just about everyone being in league with satan and condemning them to hell on a daily basis, Chris was offended by what was obviously completely unwarranted attack on a humble servant of God and drama ensued.

Chris' uncanny impression of TheAmazingAtheist

	“	Do this experiment for me gorilla199, the next time you walk into a store with all the spooky alien symbols around, instead of talking about that, walk up to the counter, buy what you're going to buy and say "Excuse me, there is a penguin living in my ass" and you will get the exact same reaction.	„
	—TheAmazingAtheist, attempting to Intellectually Checkmate Chris' foolproof space lizard detection technique with argumentum ad penguinum.

	“	Question: How many Satanists does it take to take on one born again Christian? Well, in this case about 43,778 of them.	„
	—Chris challenging the legions of satanic space lizard subscribers to TheAmazingAtheist's channel.

He later posed as a fan of himself by the user name poonfestian and began making death threats against TheAmazingAtheist and began circulating an email falsely claiming to contain his personal information.

Legal threat for all those satanic people who follow TheMasonicAtheist

gorilla199 vs. David Icke

The image in question

David Icke's reaction to Chris's accusations

	“	Icke you are Fucked!	„
	—Chris

Since Chris thinks everyone who isn't a Born Again Christian and everyone who disagrees with him is a Freemason, he has recently exposed David Icke as being the same slimy space lizard he is claiming to expose after seeing a photograph of him at a Freemasonic Lodge with the name "W. Bro David Icke".

Chris got the first word as always, and he began making videos challenging Icke's credibility as an "Anti-NWO Warrior". David posted several responses to Chris on his website laughing at his insanity, which proves once and for all that David is trying to cover up his secret agenda for world domination.

Previous Video | Next Video

Chris's dangerous dig for information came as a shock to everyone, including David himself. David immediately tried to recover from this dreadful pwnage that exposed him for being the dangerous masonic space lizard he really is by making a blog post explaining that the image was faked and that Chris is the real moron.

	“	I must have a new book coming out that is going to blow the conspiracy wide open and it won't be the last effort to discredit me and my work in 2010 as I have long known. But come on, chaps. You can do better than this, surely?	„
	—David Icke

	“	Oh yes, one other thing ... I am six-feet-one. So bloody hell, I must be surrounded by giants ... the guy at the back on the left must be Godzilla	„
	—David Icke

	“	Why is the hoaxer so challenged in the testicle department that they have to take it down? Come on, put it back and tell us who you are and why you want to mislead people. I'll roll my trouser leg up if you don't - and bare my breast - and neither is a pretty sight.	„
	—David Icke, wat

	“	Hey, they say David Icke's in the Skull and Bones and the Jesuits and Opus Dei and the Bilderberg Group and the Council on Foreign Relations - and basically everyone he's spent 20 years exposing. Has he got a new book out that takes the exposure onto a whole new level? Sounds like it.'	„
	—David Icke

	“	This won't be the last attempt to discredit me and my work this year either - not even nearly so - but they can throw all the dirt and diversions they like. I will keep on keeping on no matter what.	„
	—David Icke

	“	Do they not think for a second that the Control System in all its forms has an interest in discrediting me? Apparently not.	„
	—David Icke

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Use scrollbar to see the full image

File:GLP h8 David Icke.PNG

Truthers on both sides jump on this like a dog on raw meat.

Other Critics

Anti-Christ's Nonce: Revealed!

Even though the giant corporation behind YouTube is undoubtedly run by Tares and Freemasons, Chris has become adept at using their system against his YouTube critics and had, at one point blocked 2883 people and at least one account suspended. Occasionally though, he confronts the reptillians

Chris wants your family to die of cancer.

“	Lol, I nuked that dumb video. Moron couldn't forge well enough. Then again, watch out for the NWO, I herd they liek to put special chemicols into your food which is really fed into your food but it makes you have no control of yer bladder anywayz. And I also herd from a little birdie called Rense that the chinese r gonna run the NWO out of a basement an that we r all belong to them because we wasted all our time and efforts on wars for the Jews.	„

“	Wise choice to stay hidden coward. After your Blasphemous video and using my wife like that I WOULD PROBABLY LOSE CONTROL AND CRIPPLE YOU PERMANENTLY	„
—Chris, threatening a 13 year old boy across the internet.

“	will punch you so hard your teeth come out your arse	„

“	Im going to use my friends in I.T. to track you down.	„
—Chris, pretending to have friends.

Also if you ask him to prove that freemasons are evil, then he will either accuse you of being one or block you, then delete the comment.

Youtube vote(rigging) and leaving YouTube forever

In August 2008, Chris decided to put to the vote if he should leave YouTube.

This is a vote

We will comply with the highest vote count.

Please note that Troll accounts will not be included in the vote

Given that the term troll applies to anyone that disagrees with him, the end result of the vote is perhaps not suprising. Chris stayed and blessed his fans.

WE STAY!

Our thanks to our viewers.

We shall endeavour to make even better video for you.

May Jesus Bless you all

Amen 

Amen. As if blessing his YouTube congregation wasn't enough, he went one further and forgave and unblocked the 2883 people via song.

Truly, a king among men.

See Also

• David Icke
• Alex Jones
• Worldwide Masonic Conspiracy
• Montalk
• Sherry Shriner
• Xee-A Twelve
• Bible
• Reptoids
• Batshit Insane

External Links

• Template:Youtube2 Abuse Chris/Louise here
• BBC News on how he is mental enough to get away with piracy
• Let The Truth Be Known Chris and Louise's official website with links to all his videos.
• A vacant Stickam page
• A BlawgTV anyone who questions his batshit insanity is b&
• A soundboard made by one of his fans
• Chris's fans hate David Icke
• David Icke's fans lol at Chris

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