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Kotakoti: Difference between revisions
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Dakota has spent her time over the last year well, furiously troweling on the makeup and taking hundreds of carefully [[Photoshop|angled]] photographs, submitting them to various social networking outlets across the web in her [[Histrionic_Personality_Disorder|desperation to be noticed by anybody]]. Of course, it didn't take long for her photos to be picked up by the [[azn|Asian]] Media, who're well known for their love of children and unfuckable [[loli|loli's]]. | Dakota has spent her time over the last year well, furiously troweling on the makeup and taking hundreds of carefully [[Photoshop|angled]] photographs, submitting them to various social networking outlets across the web in her [[Histrionic_Personality_Disorder|desperation to be noticed by anybody]]. Of course, it didn't take long for her photos to be picked up by the [[azn|Asian]] Media, who're well known for their love of children and unfuckable [[loli|loli's]]. | ||
Much to Dakotas dismay, it turned out she was only featured on an [[China|inferior Asian]] countries news slot and not the [[kawaii]] [[Japan|Japanese]] national headlines she'd been hoping for. The slot in question was a minor Chinese newscast usually shown between ad breaks who'd aired a piece the previous day on a polydactyl cat and an infomercial on dog sweaters the day before that. Despite this, Dakota will still brag and push it like it is a really huge deal, because she's going to be a famous loli you know. | Much to Dakotas dismay, it turned out she was only featured on an [[China|inferior Asian]] countries news slot and not the [[kawaii]] [[Japan|Japanese]] national headlines she'd been hoping for. The slot in question was a minor Chinese newscast usually shown between ad breaks who'd aired a piece the previous day on a polydactyl cat and an infomercial on dog sweaters the day before that. Despite this, Dakota will still brag and push it like it is a really huge deal, because she's going to be a famous [[loli]] you know. | ||
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Past inquiries have yielded mixed results, Dakota having once revealed that she does in fact wear hair extensions and false eyelashes; has since backtracked completely and deleted all [[truth|evidence]] of her having ever said so. There has been speculation regarding the condition of her eyes, which appear to change shape and colour entirely at random, however Dakota has stated that she not wear circle lenses so it must be [[photoshop|true]]. | Past inquiries have yielded mixed results, Dakota having once revealed that she does in fact wear hair extensions and false eyelashes; has since backtracked completely and deleted all [[truth|evidence]] of her having ever said so. There has been speculation regarding the condition of her eyes, which appear to change shape and colour entirely at random, however Dakota has stated that she not wear circle lenses so it must be [[photoshop|true]]. | ||
Of course nobody will be able to provide you with caps of her saying any of this on account of her [[delete fucking everything|deleting fucking everything]]. | Of course nobody will be able to provide you with caps of her saying any of this on account of her [[delete fucking everything|deleting fucking everything]]. | ||
You can typically find Dakota hanging out at home alone, Twittering back and forth a slurry of [[racist]] and [[not gay|homophobic]] slurs with her [http://images.encyclopediadramatica.ch/5/59/Dakota_Rose_Ronery.jpg only friend and sister], [[Kiki Kannibal]].<br> | |||
You can also typically find Dakota hanging out at home alone, furiously deleting any evidence of her [[racist]] and [[not gay|homophobic]] slurs in a pathetic attempt of covering up all evidence of her being a massive, beak-nosed [[cunt]]. | |||
== Background == | == Background == | ||
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Getting in contact with Cathy Ostrenga is easier then ever nowadays! All you have to do is follow these simple instructions: | Getting in contact with Cathy Ostrenga is easier then ever nowadays! All you have to do is follow these simple instructions: | ||
'''01. Acquire defamatory and/or damaging material involving Kiki and/or Dakota''' | |||
'''01. Acquire defamatory and/or damaging material involving Kiki and/or Dakota''' (this is not hard on account of how big, dumb and slutty these siblings are) | |||
'''02. Submit defamatory and/or damaging material involving Kiki and/or Dakota to the [[internet]] and proceed to distibute expeditiously''' | '''02. Submit defamatory and/or damaging material involving Kiki and/or Dakota to the [[internet]] and proceed to distibute expeditiously''' | ||
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{{morphquote|Kotakoti|background-color: transparent; width: 700px; height: 250px;|font-weight: normal;|Get the fuck out, I don’t like lesbians|Kotakoti on receiving a compliment|I don’t want people to start hitting on me because they think I’m a lesbian cause of you. I will vomit! I will vomit all over the place.|Kotakoti on receiving even more compliments|You’re either gay or a baby. I’m guessing you’re a baby||I’m sorry I called your son a fag, basically. You’re not a fag you’re just a baby||}} | {{morphquote|Kotakoti|background-color: transparent; width: 700px; height: 250px;|font-weight: normal;|Get the fuck out, I don’t like lesbians|Kotakoti on receiving a compliment|I don’t want people to start hitting on me because they think I’m a lesbian cause of you. I will vomit! I will vomit all over the place.|Kotakoti on receiving even more compliments|You’re either gay or a baby. I’m guessing you’re a baby||I’m sorry I called your son a fag, basically. You’re not a fag you’re just a baby||}} | ||
</center> | </center> | ||
==Financial Crisis: The Ostrengas Are Broke== | |||
Cathy Ostrenga's obsession is too focused on deleting her daughters' online [[fail|asshatness]] that Cathy and Scott Ostrenga didn't realise their [http://images.encyclopediadramatica.ch/0/06/OstrengaFinancialRetarded.png financial court records] are published online for the [[troll|world]] to see. 2010 marked the year that the [[trolls|internet]] laughed when the Ostrengas sacrificed their non-existent dignity to a delusional internet dream for their [[internet asshole|daughters]] by filing bankruptcy and having their home foreclosed after paying a pathetic [http://images.encyclopediadramatica.ch/1/1a/OstrengaForeclosureRecord.jpg $11,500 on their house]. They further proved they had no concept of money and [[irl|real life]] by becoming too retarded to mow their lawn, which landed them [http://images.encyclopediadramatica.ch/3/39/OstrengaForeclosureRecord1.jpg more hefty fines]. Though 2010 was a golden year for the Ostrengas' finances, they'd actually began their financial [[retard|retardation]] in 2006 after they forgot how to pay for a [http://images.encyclopediadramatica.ch/8/8b/Kikihospital.jpg $1,000 hospital bill] that Kiki racked up from poor nutrition and starving her body at her mother's demand. | |||
The Ostrenga family is currently mooching off one of their [[incest|relatives]], while [[lesbians|Kirsten Ostrenga and Dakota Ostrenga]] continue spending their father's negative amount of money to purchase designer clothes and instruments only so Kiki and Dakota can [[attention whore|update their Twitter's]] about it. | |||
Revision as of 02:17, 2 January 2012
Kotakoti, also known as Dakota Rose (real name Dakota Ostrenga), is Kiki Kannibal's younger, slightly more fuckable, suspected Fetal Alcohol Syndrome victim (basically, her mothers a drunk) and serial Photoshop abusing sister.
First recognized to have been embroiled in the Kiki Kannibal Buzznet shitstorm, (circa 2006 - today), Dakota has since decided that she does not want to make the intelligent decision of learning from her older, whore sisters mistakes and has begun making quite a name for herself; namely on 4chan's cosplay & EGL imageboard, /cgl/.
Introduction to Kotakoti
The first thing you need to know about Dakota Ostrenga, is that she's 100% real, and by 100% we mean she lies about fucking everything. Tainted by her older sisters past delusions of internet grandeur, fed up of always being pushed to the back, she's finally beginning to shine. You don't like it? Like Dakota gives a shit, you're all just a bunch of "pedophile lesbians".
Dakota has spent her time over the last year well, furiously troweling on the makeup and taking hundreds of carefully angled photographs, submitting them to various social networking outlets across the web in her desperation to be noticed by anybody. Of course, it didn't take long for her photos to be picked up by the Asian Media, who're well known for their love of children and unfuckable loli's.
Much to Dakotas dismay, it turned out she was only featured on an inferior Asian countries news slot and not the kawaii Japanese national headlines she'd been hoping for. The slot in question was a minor Chinese newscast usually shown between ad breaks who'd aired a piece the previous day on a polydactyl cat and an infomercial on dog sweaters the day before that. Despite this, Dakota will still brag and push it like it is a really huge deal, because she's going to be a famous loli you know.
Youtube and Tumblr users have been seen attempting to leave comments questioning the validity of her looks, only having found them to be hastily removed by none other then Kotakoti herself. Past inquiries have yielded mixed results, Dakota having once revealed that she does in fact wear hair extensions and false eyelashes; has since backtracked completely and deleted all evidence of her having ever said so. There has been speculation regarding the condition of her eyes, which appear to change shape and colour entirely at random, however Dakota has stated that she not wear circle lenses so it must be true. Of course nobody will be able to provide you with caps of her saying any of this on account of her deleting fucking everything. You can typically find Dakota hanging out at home alone, Twittering back and forth a slurry of racist and homophobic slurs with her only friend and sister, Kiki Kannibal.
BackgroundPreviously mentioned as being the younger sister of haggard, past-it camwhore, Kiki Kannibal (Kristen Ostrenga), Dakota Rose's life has been laced with drama, lies (mostly theirs), a supposed statutory rape, a man dying as a direct result from supposed statutory rape, foreclosure and a shit load of hefty fines. When it comes to being white trash, the Ostrengas pretty much wrote the definition. Her parents, Cathy and Scott Ostrenga, encouraged Kirsten and Dakota from a young age into competitive whoring. Getting in contact with Cathy Ostrenga is easier then ever nowadays! All you have to do is follow these simple instructions:
02. Submit defamatory and/or damaging material involving Kiki and/or Dakota to the internet and proceed to distibute expeditiously 03. Wait 30-60 mins 04. Sit back and chuckle obnoxiously as the DMCA violations and threats to sue begin rolling in!
Previous Quote | Next Quote Financial Crisis: The Ostrengas Are BrokeCathy Ostrenga's obsession is too focused on deleting her daughters' online asshatness that Cathy and Scott Ostrenga didn't realise their financial court records are published online for the world to see. 2010 marked the year that the internet laughed when the Ostrengas sacrificed their non-existent dignity to a delusional internet dream for their daughters by filing bankruptcy and having their home foreclosed after paying a pathetic $11,500 on their house. They further proved they had no concept of money and real life by becoming too retarded to mow their lawn, which landed them more hefty fines. Though 2010 was a golden year for the Ostrengas' finances, they'd actually began their financial retardation in 2006 after they forgot how to pay for a $1,000 hospital bill that Kiki racked up from poor nutrition and starving her body at her mother's demand. The Ostrenga family is currently mooching off one of their relatives, while Kirsten Ostrenga and Dakota Ostrenga continue spending their father's negative amount of money to purchase designer clothes and instruments only so Kiki and Dakota can update their Twitter's about it.
Don't let mommy Ostrenga see these.. About missing Pics
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