Alcoholics Anonymous

	“	AA is a Society of Slippers	„
	—Bubba J

AA Meetings: 13th steppin AA style Guaranteed to lulz

"AA is one of the top ten places to meet women" -Playboy Magazine

The other AA

We are anonymous.

Two blue cocks can help.

Alcoholics Anonymous is a pathetic club for people who want to show up to work drunk, and claim they have a disease because God doesn't love them. You may be ordered by a judge to go to the AA, if you beat your wife or piss on his lawn.

If you said that you'd try it, not only are you a fucktard, but you are a suitable candidate for Alcoholics Anonymous, a program that works exactly as well as the hypothetical "medicine" above.

Alcoholics Anonymous is an international fellowship of men and women who have consumed so much alcohol that they have caused severe butthurt to everyone they know, are related to, or have ever been near to, including themselves. Desperate for a solution that allows them to believe that it is not all their own fault, they buy the bullshit that drinking booze is a disease, they formed a group where they sit around in rooms talking, drinking coffee, and acting extremely self-righteous about all the truly fucked up things they have done.

In AA there is no "don't bite the newcomers" rule, so the oldfags, who are usually disturbingly old but love the 13th step and the underage tweenies both boys and girls , haze the new guys and hit on the new women desperately trying to get laid , whether they are skanks, skeezers, or NORP's.

What is A.A?

In 1934, Bill Wilson ran out of beer money. He claimed to be a Christian at the end of his rope, but showed himself to be a jew when he figured out that sufferers of alcohol dependency would give him money for the opportunity do homework (for alcoholics; the work being predominantly spiritual soul searching). He wrote a book telling people they had a disease, and the only treatment for it was to pay Bill lots and lots of money. He is considered the most original troll of the 21st Century.

	“	Anything that takes more than 12 steps isn't worth doing! Eh? 12? Get it? Steps! Hehehe.	„
	—Homer J. Simpson

Once people figured out God wasn't real, and people figured they'd find another way to fix their problems, Bill Jew-haggled his way into the courts so that if you got caught being drunk in public, you'd have to go to an AA meeting, thus increasing Bill's revenue of jew gold.

Some professionals refer to alcoholism and drug addiction as “substance abuse” or “chemical dependency.” We prefer to call it funny. Nonalcoholics are, for some reason unbeknownst to us, sometimes introduced to A.A. and encouraged to attend A.A. meetings - making it surprisingly easy to pick up anything (or anyone, they're all drunk) you want. Hookers and blow are kept on ice for emergency party situations. Anyone may attend open A.A. meetings, but only those who really like to get down and drink hard may attend closed meetings.

Is Alcoholics Anonymous a Cult?

A.A. members tend to be rather disturbingly fanatic in their worship of the entire organization to which they belong. Many members would fight more zealously to defend their group than would two jews over loose change. A.A. members would have you believe that, without their precious little club, they wouldn't stand a chance against their own predisposed tendency towards abusing alcohol, because they are weak. The strong religious background of the group also supports the conclusion that A.A. is, in fact, a cult because, as we all know, religious people are brainwashed.

But, for those of you who wish to draw their own conclusions about the organization, here's a helpful video:

What Does A.A. Do?

A.A. claims that it helps people with the original 12-Step Program that turns drunken assholes into productive members of society. This, of course, is a total fucking lie.

Oddly, A.A. members often insist that A.A. is not a religion despite the fact that five of the Twelve Steps mention God. This bizarre idea is justified by claiming that anything qualifies as a "Higher Power," even doorknobs; the A.A. member is encouraged to seek his or her own conception of God. The path to A.A. is something like this:

1. Drink your face off.
2. Fuck up your life totally.
3. Go to A.A. where you are told that it is not your fault because you are too weak to fight your disease. Only God can.
4. Become STRAIGHT EDGE.
5. ????
6. PROFIT
7. Shag a newcomer

Bill Wilson Does Drugs and sees God FOR REAL!

Whether you like it or not, Bill Wilson, founder of A.A., found his higher power on drugs. The Belladonna "cure used those pretty little highly toxic plants(one would have to be immensely brave to eat it); they get you face-meltingly high and poison you so much that you end up in a state where you have one foot in the grave and one foot in the land of the living. You trip some massive fucking balls. Overdoses are fatal. But Bill, brave man that he was, prepared for his visionary experience with nothing but years of guzzling cheap rotgut whiskey and bathtub gin.

"In the end, after all of the drinking, drugging and debauchery, Wilson remained an irresolute drunk, always seeking that next big fix. Whether it was from occult religion, womanizing or his other drug addictions concerning nicotine and acid, he never looked within to liberate himself from his vices. He literally believed he was powerless over everything! But, dammit, he never drank again so the true believers can overlook all of those other details."

"William Griffith Wilson never worked the Steps to get in contact with his Higher Power. He got his from detoxing from a few bottles too many of bathtub gin then getting re-intoxicated with a head full of hallucinogens on top of guilt-inspiring preaching by Ebby Thatcher."

Now that you've read that, you can stop feeling so down that you can't kick your own habits, because Bill Wilson sure as hell didn't. Just kidding! You're still a fucking loser and you really should just kill yourself.

Bill Wilson and wife Lois talk about Alcoholics Anonymous

Serenity Slayers

Found in every AA meeting, an AA Big Book thumper suffers high emotional reactivity along with a strong need to control those around him. Extremely hyper sensitive to those who question the AA cult doctrine and draw attention to its inconsistencies, fabrications and deceit, he experiences extreme anxiety when the AA house of cards bullshit is brought into question. Engages in all manners of childish temper tantrums such as stomping out of a meeting when the heretic speaks, will yell, name call, attempt to isolate the heretic from others and even succumbs to fits of rage where he will launch into physical attacks upon the heretic to prevent the light of day from shining in on his program. Can often be seen with other Slayers giving the "I have been conned" heretic the bums rush out the door.

Hidden video of a real meeting a Serenity Slayer falls off the wagon and goes on a binge again and again and again

	“	God damn it, get me a whiskey.	„
	—Bill Wilson

The I have been Conned

Many who enter this program realize they have been conned. I mean really conned. They thought this program was about alcohol problems only to find they fallen for a bait and switch. They have found themselves in a cult. A religious cult where a rock or door knob can be their higher power. Those who question the program are given the suggestion to go out and do more research which means to drink some more, many have taken this suggestion to mean hit the internet and upon doing so found out how they were conned.

Others came to realize they were conned and in a cult upon watching the South Park Bloody Mary Episode, and yet others only came to this realization after viewing Penn and Teller's AA is Bullshit episode.

Some of disenchanted now have taken up residence on such websites as Stinkin Thinkin dot com where they post their stories of abuse, terror, and the predators in the roomzzz. Another reliable Reference source the aholes on the Wikipedia delete right here !! http://stinkin-thinkin.com/.

Many of conned spend their time reading the Orange Papers Org. especially the letters where the conned email their grievances and get their Dear Abby response. Others have joined in campfires where they engage in big book burnings and story sharing of how they got conned. Another reliable reference source that the aholes on Wikipedia will never never ever ever allow right here !! http://www.orange-papers.org/

The Really Pissed Off I have been Conned

These are people who have spent years in the 12 step program before realizing they had been conned. Totally pee-oooooed for wasting time and energy in attending meetings, tired of the hearing endless drunkalogues and bored with the constant barrage of slogans, it is these individuals that are more than likely to become activists. You will find them at Church Halls as well as other AA meeting sites painting graffiti on the walls, passing out anti-AA literature, and givng out internet directions to the famous Orange Papers. Their motto is "I won't get conned again". At times you will see one or more of them being assaulted by an enraged Serenity Slayer.

This is serious stuff and their mission statement, a parody of the AA preamble, is all about being conned and that they won't get conned again.

RARELY HAVE they seen a person who has thoroughly followed their path. Those who do recover are usually people who have recognized AA as a dangerous religious cult, and will not give themselves completely to AA’s fanatical program. The AA Cult is constituted primarily of men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with anyone…including themselves. Some of them are not at fault; they were screwed the second they set foot into the church basement door. They were systematically indoctrinated into believing that alcoholics are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands any type of honesty. They should still be held accountable for the behavior that has ruined so many lives. Many AA members suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders. The program requires that they believe alcoholics can never recover. Most of the people who quit drinking without AA have recovered, in large part, due to their self-determination and ability to act rationally. Our stories disclose in a general way what We used to be like, what happened, and what We are like now. If You have decided You want to leave Alcoholics Anonymous and are willing to go any lengths to do it – then You are ready to take certain steps. At some of these We were delighted. We were sure that We had found a more sound and reasonable way. With all of the earnestness at our command, We encourage You to be resolute and confident from the very start. Some of Us have tried to hold on to Our old AA ideas and the result was nil until We let go absolutely. Remember that WE deal with Alcoholics Anonymous – cunning, baffling, dishonest! Continuing the mental masturbation was too much for Us. There is only one person who has the power to overcome your alcohol problem – that person is You. May You trust and believe in Yourself now! Delusions and superstitious nonsense availed Us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We learned to protect and care for Ourselves with complete Self-acceptance. Here are the steps We took which are encouraged as a course of action to escape the AA mind trap…

We decided We were “Not Powerless” over alcohol – that Our lives had become dominated by AA. Came to understand that We were never as morally reprehensible as some AA members had led Us to believe. Made a decision to turn and walk away from Alcoholics Anonymous forever. Made a scorching and fearless indictment against AA as an organization. Admitted to Ourselves and another Human Being that We had been ambushed into joining a religious cult. Were entirely ready to relieve Ourselves of the self-defeating bullshit We were taught at AA. Familiarized Ourselves with cult indoctrination tactics in order that We may never fall into a similar trap again. Made a list of all AA-members who had harmed Us, and became willing to confront them all. Called such people on their bullshit whenever possible, except when to do so would significantly injure them or others. Continued to indict Alcoholics anonymous and when We were wronged promptly expressed our disapproval of it. Sought scientific empirical evidence that could help Us to defeat addiction; focusing on Ourselves as the Power to carry that out. Having been awakened from the AA nightmare as a result of these steps, We tried to carry this message to other victims of AA, so that everyone might know the truth about the Alcoholics Anonymous cult.

You are not alone. Many of Us have been misled by the religion that claims not to be a religion. Some of Us suffered for years oblivious to the fact that AA offers no reliable or even sincere method to help alcohol troubled people to recover from addiction. When We felt hopeless… They used it against Us. They told us We were powerless. They did it to break Us down. They did it to make Us unsure of Ourselves. They did it to recruit new members for their religious cult. We’re here to expose AA for what it really is. If You’ve tried AA over and over again, and You’re not getting the results you were promised, maybe it’s time You tried something else. Think about it.

Top Ten Reasons To Run From AA

A Cult ...oh no its a cult!!!

Some conned have joined a rock band

Some have gone on and joined a rock band; they hope to appear on American Idol and with any luck this song could be at the top of on the rocks list!!!!

Yup a reliable reference source right here and definitely! http://www.morerevealed.com/audio/radio.html

The I have been conned no longer drink, they have no time to drink, with their obsessional pursuit of exposing AA and telling themselves and the world alike how they got conned.

You can find their postings on Youube with stories of how AA conned me, AA is a cult and Beware you can be conned too......

ooooohhh noooo the lunatics are running the asylum

How to troll Alcoholics Anonymous

• Bring a flask
• Take drink orders
• One-up every 'rock bottom' story
• Remind them how much fun they used to have when they got trashed
• Use only liquor-related nicknames (Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker, Tina Tequila)
• Repeatedly ask what atheists are supposed to do about step 2
• Insist on last names
• Tell them the whole meeting feels 'a little cult-like'
• "Accidentally" break the coffee machine
• Mention that the disease/powerlessness concept is flawed and merely an excuse to avoid taking personal responsibility for having hurt others. Accuse them of believing what they believe because it makes them feel better, not because it's the truth.
• Insist that the 9th Step (making amends) is born out of a desire for self preservation rather than sincere regret.
• Mention that your higher power, Jesus Christ, believes humans have free will and drinking is a sin and a choice. When they suggest you choose a different higher power, insist they are in the grasp of Satan as they are contradicting the word of God (do your research on this).
• Tell them that your higher power is Dionysus, god of wine (Or similar. Satan will suffice in a pinch). When they insist you change higher powers, accuse them of religious intolerance.
• Remind them that all the cigarettes and coffee they consume will kill them just as fast as booze
• Tell them that you drink occasionally but are not an alcoholic. Say a relative has insisted you go to an AA meeting and you're just doing it to satisfy them. Watch as they accuse you of being in denial. Mention denial in AA as being a Catch 22 similar to dunking a witch (the more you deny it, the more it's evident you are an alcoholic).
• Try to get a straight answer as to why a higher power is required to quit drinking.
• Amateur stand-up routines when it's your turn at the mic
• Cough "Step 13" at every woman in the meeting
• Ask if there are alternatives to AA (or insist there are and list them).
• Show up piss-ass drunk.

See Also

• Alcoholic
• Drugs
• Rehab
• Never drinking again
• Hangover
• More Revealed
• Muckracking the 12 step treatment industry
• Orange Papers
• The Al-Anon LJ Community. Dramatic, yet sadly troll-free at this point in time.
• The Actual Official Alcoholics Anonynous Home Page.
• God grant me the serenity to troll an online AA meeting

[Close them downOpen the records]

Alcoholics Anonymous is part of a series on Cults