Carl Sagan

As if you needed anymore proof God isn't real: this man had to die, and yet Mike the Situation is alive and well. How the fuck is that fair?

Carl Sagan^✡, easily one of the greatest men who ever lived, was the inventor of the totally made-up number "billions and billions", and is famous for making really basic scientific concepts easier for stoners to understand. Despite being totally damn awesome, Sagan's legacy has been tainted because of his association with atheism, and because many Conservative fucktards remember him as being Reagan's mortal nemesis, apparently thinking Sagan's theory of "nuclear winter" is the same thing as "global warming".

In addition to his litany of ceaselessly badass accomplishments, Sagan is best remembered for maybe being the only person who made labeled a geek a badge of honour, in addition to making science not suck, and for proving that you don't need to actually contribute anything to science if you want to be renowned as a genius by pot-smokers everywhere.

Furthermore, if you mention him on reddit, you get instant 1,000,000 e-points, which is especially faggotty because, get this, REDDIT ACTUALLY HAS INTERNET POINTS, CALLED KARMA. That's right, Liberal Homosexual Transgendered Atheist Jew-hating Muslims get an erection from him, despite his Jewishness. No, really.

Gallery

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  Fact: Carl Sagan loved to smoke him some weed No, seriously.
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  He is so awesome that he can light a candle with the friction from his own hands' rubbing!
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  Sagan was good at gently explaining complicated things in ways that made perfect sense. Even those fuckin magnets.
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  Even in the printed world, Reagan was out to get our hero.
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  The cosmos is So cash.

See also

• FakeSagan, who thinks it's cool to use a great man's name to justify being a shithead on the Internet.
• Greydon Square of the Rational Response Squad, who is like the above, except a nigger, and thus so much fucking worse.
• Sagan Cash, because at this point he's earned it.

Carl Sagan is part of a series on SCIENCE! [FizzlePop]

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Carl Sagan is part of a series on Truth Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.