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Anton Bichivin: Difference between revisions
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{{ib|[[File:Anton Bichivin.jpg|250px]]}} | |||
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{{Ibhead|<big>'''Anton Bichivin'''</big>}} | {{Ibhead|<big>'''Anton Bichivin'''</big>}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Ruskie]] [[File:MiniflagRussia.png]]}} | {{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Ruskie]] [[File:MiniflagRussia.png]]}} | ||
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{{Ibrow|'''Top 25?'''|Lmao fuck no.}} | {{Ibrow|'''Top 25?'''|Lmao fuck no.}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|Single player}} | {{Ibrow|'''Style'''|Single player}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|No, | {{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|No, barely even tried}} | ||
{{Ibend}} | {{Ibend}} | ||
'''Anton Bichivin''' is an [[unoriginal]] zoomer [[nerd]] from [[Russia|Putinstan]] who on January 19 [[2018]] at the young age of [[Teenager|17]] attempted to make [[IRL]] [[Trolls|trollers]] '''Eric Harris''' and '''Dylan Klebold''' proud of him but failing and getting raped in the KGB party van. | '''Anton Bichivin''' is an [[unoriginal]] zoomer [[nerd]] from [[Russia|Putinstan]] who on January 19, [[2018]] at the young age of [[Teenager|17]] attempted to make [[IRL]] [[Trolls|trollers]] '''Eric Harris''' and '''Dylan Klebold''' proud of him but failing and getting raped in the KGB party van. His attack was very similar to fellow faggy [[Columbine Copycats|Columbine wannabe]] Mikhail Pivnev, who also attacked his teacher with a sharp object then set a classroom on fire. | ||
==Background== | ==Background== | ||
Anton lived in the | Anton lived in the [[Slav]] shithole that is Russia for his entire life. He was [[bullied]] in school (lul) because he was obsessed with LOLumbine and was an edgy [[Neo-Nazi|NATZEE kid]]. | ||
==Loadout== | ==Loadout== | ||
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<center>[[Image:ATS_Smoke_Grenade.png|70px]]</center> | <center>[[Image:ATS_Smoke_Grenade.png|70px]]</center> | ||
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*Can set | *Can set [[Jews]] and [[Niggers|blacks]] on fire if done right. '''Does 15-30 pts of damage''' | ||
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| | | | ||
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==Attack== | ==Attack== | ||
On | On January 18, our [[Loser|hero]] arrived late to school and marched into school wearing the school shooter uniform: a [[The Matrix|trench coat and combat boots]] as well as a KMFDM shirt, just in case no one could tell he was inspired by star crossed [[gay]] lovers Dylan and Eric. He allegedly knocked on the door and when someone opened it, he cut their fucking finger off and threw a molotov into the classroom, setting it on fire like a [[Vietnam|Vietnamese village]]. He cracked the teacher in the skull as she attempted to run out of the classroom. 5 other 7th graders suffered light burns even though the fucking classroom was engulfed (probably due to the fact they just jumped into the snow) and he was unable to score a single frag. He then ran down the hallway, shived himself in the chest and dove out the window just to get scooped up by the party van to suffer severe [[Surprise Sex|rape]] by the KGB guards. | ||
==Aftermath== | ==Aftermath== | ||
Anton was found to be insane and was sent to live in the fucking nuthouse, where its been confirmed he jerks off to his self-written Dylan x Eric [[Fanfiction|fanfic]] smut on AO3. Despite his attack being an [[EPIC FAIL]], another [[Retard|retarded]] Russian kid named Artyom Tagirov copied Anton almost exactly, including the failed suicide. | |||
==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
{{center|<gallery perrow="5" caption="Gallery of Failure"> | {{center|<gallery perrow="5" caption="Gallery of Failure"> | ||
<gallery> | <gallery> | ||
Anton Bichivin injured.jpeg|KGB RAPE VAN | |||
Anton Bichivin Arrest.jpg|[[GTA|BUSTED]] | |||
</gallery>}} | </gallery>}} | ||
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*[[Vladislav Roslyakov]] - Russian Columbiner who got it [[right]]. [[Epic win|Even outdid both Eric and Dylan by death count and execution!]] | *[[Vladislav Roslyakov]] - Russian Columbiner who got it [[right]]. [[Epic win|Even outdid both Eric and Dylan by death count and execution!]] | ||
*[[Anton Lundin Pettersson]] - Who he wished he was. | *[[Anton Lundin Pettersson]] - Who he wished he was. | ||
*[[Ilya Ivanistov]] - Another shitty Russian Columbiner. This one at least an heroed right. | |||
*[[Columbine]] - What he tried to live up to. | *[[Columbine]] - What he tried to live up to. | ||
*[[Nazi]] - What he was. | *[[Nazi]] - What he was. | ||
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{{Template:Columbine}} | {{Template:Columbine}} | ||
{{Template:Nazis}} | {{Template:Nazis}} | ||
[[Category:People|Bichivin, Anton]] | |||
[[Category:2018]] | |||
Revision as of 10:25, 18 December 2021
|
| |
|---|---|
| Anton Bichivin | |
| Nationality: | Ruskie 
|
| Highscore | injured 7 |
| Top 25? | Lmao fuck no. |
| Style | Single player |
| An Hero? | No, barely even tried |
Anton Bichivin is an unoriginal zoomer nerd from Putinstan who on January 19, 2018 at the young age of 17 attempted to make IRL trollers Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold proud of him but failing and getting raped in the KGB party van. His attack was very similar to fellow faggy Columbine wannabe Mikhail Pivnev, who also attacked his teacher with a sharp object then set a classroom on fire.
Background
Anton lived in the Slav shithole that is Russia for his entire life. He was bullied in school (lul) because he was obsessed with LOLumbine and was an edgy NATZEE kid.
Loadout
| Class Setup | |
|---|---|
| Item | Accessories/Bonus |
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
Attack
On January 18, our hero arrived late to school and marched into school wearing the school shooter uniform: a trench coat and combat boots as well as a KMFDM shirt, just in case no one could tell he was inspired by star crossed gay lovers Dylan and Eric. He allegedly knocked on the door and when someone opened it, he cut their fucking finger off and threw a molotov into the classroom, setting it on fire like a Vietnamese village. He cracked the teacher in the skull as she attempted to run out of the classroom. 5 other 7th graders suffered light burns even though the fucking classroom was engulfed (probably due to the fact they just jumped into the snow) and he was unable to score a single frag. He then ran down the hallway, shived himself in the chest and dove out the window just to get scooped up by the party van to suffer severe rape by the KGB guards.
Aftermath
Anton was found to be insane and was sent to live in the fucking nuthouse, where its been confirmed he jerks off to his self-written Dylan x Eric fanfic smut on AO3. Despite his attack being an EPIC FAIL, another retarded Russian kid named Artyom Tagirov copied Anton almost exactly, including the failed suicide.
Gallery
- Gallery of Failure
-
KGB RAPE VAN -
Graded Score
| Graded score | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Kill count: | 0/20 injured 7 | ||
| Accuracy: | 1/20 Idiot couldn't even fucking finish the job | ||
| Style: | 2/20 Russian Columbine copycat | ||
| Butthurt: | 10/20 Freaked a bunch of Ruskie parents out | ||
| Bonus: | 10/20 Molotov actually worked" | Total score: 23/100 (F-) | |
See Also
- Vladislav Roslyakov - Russian Columbiner who got it right. Even outdid both Eric and Dylan by death count and execution!
- Anton Lundin Pettersson - Who he wished he was.
- Ilya Ivanistov - Another shitty Russian Columbiner. This one at least an heroed right.
- Columbine - What he tried to live up to.
- Nazi - What he was.
| Anton Bichivin is part of a series on National Socialists Click topics to expand | |
|---|---|
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Schutzstaffel 卐 Ideologie, Tradition, Praxis, und Stolz 卐 Möchtegern-Nazis 卐 Feinde, Verräter, und verboten |
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