Expert: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Expert jackson galaxy, cat behavior consultant.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Give this man your money]] | |||
ex·pert<BR> | |||
/n., v. ˈɛkspɜrt; adj. ˈɛkspɜrt, ɪkˈspɜrt<BR> | |||
–noun<BR> | |||
Derivation: "Ex" = hasbeen; "Spurt" = drop of water under pressure; ergo, expert == A Failure at Bukkake.<BR> | |||
There are many types of experts on the [[Internet]]: | |||
# [[Detective]] | |||
# [[E-psychiatrist]] | |||
# [[E-lawyer]] | |||
# Persons [[almost raped]] | |||
# Anyone who knows any [[statistics]] | |||
# [[Weeaboo|Anime Expert]] | |||
# [[faggot|Spider Expert]] | |||
==Videos== | |||
<center> | |||
{{fv|starvids|background-color: brown;|font-weight: bold; | |||
|<youtube>UeiBkoIhcFg</youtube> | |||
}} | |||
</center> | |||
== How to Spot an Expert == | |||
Spotting an expert is quite easy. Experts generally carry their forged [[serious business|PhDs]] in their back pocket (in case someone questions them), attend really boring [[orgies|conventions]] and [[lie|tell everyone]] about how super smart they are. An expert will immediately notify you that he or she [[USI|is an expert]], and to [[STFU|shut the fuck up]]. He or she may or may not then [[fail|attempt]] to educate you in their field of [[bullshit|expertise]], even if you didn't ask for help in the first place. They will also advise you not to "try this at home" if they are attempting to do something [[fucktard|really fucking stupid]]. | |||
These people are generally very [[douchebag|full of themselves]] and will stop at nothing to maintain a strict form of dignity and intelligence. If you come across an expert, you may use one of many suitable drama-generating techniques: | |||
*Ask them if their "expertise" has ever made them [[profit|money]] | |||
*Continuously ask them "why?" or "how?" (this is more of a delay tactic than a drama tactic) | |||
*Correct them | |||
*Tell them that you can easily do/have done that | |||
*Go off topic | |||
*Mock them | |||
*Point them to their [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] article | |||
==Portraits of Expertise== | |||
<br> | |||
<center> | |||
<gallery> | |||
File:Hummus expert charlie palmer.jpg | |||
File:"emoji expert" keith broni.jpg | |||
File:Wedgie proof experts.jpg | |||
File:Libby kaplan - expert chicken sweater knitter.jpg | |||
File:Gena bumgarner - chicken nugget scientist.jpg | |||
</gallery> | |||
</center> | |||
<br> | |||
== List of Experts == | |||
*[[Jimbo Wales]] | |||
*[[Steve Jobs]] | |||
*[[Alex Ford]] | |||
*[[Mark Zuckerberg]] | |||
*[[TOW|Every TOW Editor]] | |||
Latest revision as of 19:10, 1 May 2022
ex·pert
/n., v. ˈɛkspɜrt; adj. ˈɛkspɜrt, ɪkˈspɜrt
–noun
Derivation: "Ex" = hasbeen; "Spurt" = drop of water under pressure; ergo, expert == A Failure at Bukkake.
There are many types of experts on the Internet:
- Detective
- E-psychiatrist
- E-lawyer
- Persons almost raped
- Anyone who knows any statistics
- Anime Expert
- Spider Expert
Videos
Previous Video | Next Video
How to Spot an Expert
Spotting an expert is quite easy. Experts generally carry their forged PhDs in their back pocket (in case someone questions them), attend really boring conventions and tell everyone about how super smart they are. An expert will immediately notify you that he or she is an expert, and to shut the fuck up. He or she may or may not then attempt to educate you in their field of expertise, even if you didn't ask for help in the first place. They will also advise you not to "try this at home" if they are attempting to do something really fucking stupid.
These people are generally very full of themselves and will stop at nothing to maintain a strict form of dignity and intelligence. If you come across an expert, you may use one of many suitable drama-generating techniques:
- Ask them if their "expertise" has ever made them money
- Continuously ask them "why?" or "how?" (this is more of a delay tactic than a drama tactic)
- Correct them
- Tell them that you can easily do/have done that
- Go off topic
- Mock them
- Point them to their ED article
Portraits of Expertise
