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{{Featuredupdate|Featured Article}}
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{{:Portal:Sites/Featured Article/title|Snapchat}}
{{:Portal:Sites/Featured Article/title|Twitter}}
[[File:Snapchat evan-spiegel-portrait-illustration-snapchat-ghosts.jpeg|right|200px]]
[[File:Riptwitterdeadbird.jpg|right|200px]]
'''Twitter''' (AKA '''Shitter''', AKA '''Your account is currently suspended. For more information, please visit Suspended Accounts'''), or as former [[President Obama]] called it, '''Twitter's''', is an outrage machine where highly sensitive people spend all of their time so they can get [[Crybaby|offended by everything]] and bully people into silence with death threats. Basically it's some [[retarded]] website where [[liberalism|left-wing]] [[transtrender|nonbinary]] [[furfag|furries]] with [[dying alone|no life]] and [[nigger|black]] [[NORP|normie]] [[socialist|socialists]] come together to [[circlejerk|jerk off]] about how much they hate [[Donald Trump]], all within the limits of 280 characters.


Snapchat is yet another photo sharing app created by yet another group of ivy league [[winner|losers]] who decided that there simply wasn't enough ways to allow [[16-year-old girls]] to send [[duckface|duckfaces]] to their insipid friends. It is, at least, the very first piece of social media to recognize that no selfie has ever been important enough to deserve to exist for [[shit_no_one_cares_about|more than 10 seconds]].
''Truth'': '''Twitter''' is a [[Web 2.0]] site for [[fags]]/[[16-Year-old girl|dykes]], [[Begging|e-beggers]]/[[failed]] [[DeviantART|artists]], [[preteens]] and [[Retard|dingdongs]] who are too stupid to use [[IRC]], and need turn-based [[chat]] to play oppression olympics on. Typical Twitter users subject each other to a relentless [[voraphilia|feed]] of minutia in their otherwise meaningless lives, known as [[SNCA|tweets]], 24/7/365. Got a new job? Just drank a glass of [[cum|milk]]? Took a big [[shit]]? '''Tweet''' it!


Snapchat is currently one of the top five social networking platforms, along with [[Failbook]], [[Twitter]], and [[Instagram]], thus proving once again that there's never such as thing as an oversaturated marketplace on the [[internets]]. Facebook, trying in vain to prevent their continued downward spiral into obscurity, attempted to purchase Snapchat for $3 billion, but was [[fail|denied]], thus cementing their eventual internment in the Halls of Fail, just like [[Myspace]], and literally anything else [[Christopher Poole]] has done before them.
[[TL;DR]]: [[LiveJournal]] on [[crack]]. (No wait, LJ died years ago.) Or maybe: [[Slack]] on [[roids]]. Yeah, that's the ticket.
 
{{center|'''[[Twitter|(( ELON MUSK MIGHT BE BUYING TWITTER ))]]'''}}
{{center|'''[[Snapchat|(( POOR MAN'S INSTAGRAM ))]]'''}}

Revision as of 07:49, 17 May 2022

<Portal:Sites
When updating Featured Article, update the archive.


Featured Article - Twitter

Twitter (AKA Shitter, AKA Your account is currently suspended. For more information, please visit Suspended Accounts), or as former President Obama called it, Twitter's, is an outrage machine where highly sensitive people spend all of their time so they can get offended by everything and bully people into silence with death threats. Basically it's some retarded website where left-wing nonbinary furries with no life and black normie socialists come together to jerk off about how much they hate Donald Trump, all within the limits of 280 characters.

Truth: Twitter is a Web 2.0 site for fags/dykes, e-beggers/failed artists, preteens and dingdongs who are too stupid to use IRC, and need turn-based chat to play oppression olympics on. Typical Twitter users subject each other to a relentless feed of minutia in their otherwise meaningless lives, known as tweets, 24/7/365. Got a new job? Just drank a glass of milk? Took a big shit? Tweet it!

TL;DR: LiveJournal on crack. (No wait, LJ died years ago.) Or maybe: Slack on roids. Yeah, that's the ticket.

(( ELON MUSK MIGHT BE BUYING TWITTER ))