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Tween

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Typical tweens getting ready to whore out
This is not a tween, but a prostitot. She will grow up to be a skanky ugly tween because mommy made her take whore pictures for pedobear when she was young.

A tween is a kid that isn't yet a teenager. They are usually between 9-12 years old. Although the teens technically start at 13, many tweens never grow out of the stage, and continue to be tweens well into adulthood. Having an eating disorder is common in this group, although many in this group may also be very fat. Self esteem problems are rampant, which is why tweens always feel the need to prove themselves. Most tweens FAIL at the game because their brains aren't developed enough to have a real sense of self.

Tweens wear whatever they think will give them the most cool points and make them popular. If they want to be a normal skanky materialistic girl, they'll wear whatever the mall says is cool. Tween girls typically worship Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, and Lady Gaga. They watch the stupid shit on the Disney channel, and believe that High School Musical is an accurate depiction of high school. Sex and the City is their reference for how adult women should act, but really it's just a show about self-righteous, materialistic, gold digging whores. They makeout with many guys and go through tons of lipgloss and body glitter they bought at Claire's, and their ultimate dream is to marry a guy like Justin Bieber. More advanced ones will sleep around because they think that being a skank will make them popular and get them lots of attention. In reality, all it will give them is VD.

If they want to fight the man and be a rebel, they'll listen to Avril Lavigne, Good Charlotte, Ashlee Simpson, and shop at Hot Topic. These are even more annoying than the normies, because they think that buying a Justin Bieber shirt at Hot Topic makes it alternative, and somehow makes them different from the tween girls that buy their Justin Bieber shirts from other mainstream stores. Anarchy symbols are common to find on thier shoelaces, shirts, and shoes that are all store bought. A tween won't understand why that's ironic. They are all looking for the perfect romance that mirrors the Twilight saga, which means they all want abusive controlling boyfriends that they'll be obsessed with. They think they're hardcore and punk, but really they're all emo scene kids that don't want to admit it.

At crazy out of control tween parties, you will find them drinking wine coolers they stole from mommy's secret drinking stash and bumming off their older brother's cigarettes. Some take pictures of themselves pretending to smoke and post them to their facebook and myspace so that their fellow tweens will think they're hardcore. Many tweens girls will post pictures of themselves in bikinis and with the camera looking down their shirts so that pedobear can get some lulz.

Many will wind up pregnant without realizing that it only takes ONE time, dumbass. They will live in self denial until the baby pops out and they can't hide it anymore, then wind up working at a fast food joint or stripping to take care of their illegitimate baby because their baby's daddy dumped them and their uber religious family disowned them. They will be shocked at how hard it is to take care of a baby, because Juno made it seem so easy to get pregnant, and they base all their life expectations on shit TV shows and movies. Others will discover that abortion is a great option, and continue to have risky sex with the expectation that they'll never become Jamie Lynn Spears. Their male counterpart's families will go on a crusade to prove what a whore the girl he got pregnant was, and claim that their righteous son is too young to be a dad (even though HE got someone pregnant). They don't give a shit about the pregnant girl's life, and want to make sure their son has a perfect life free of responsibility, and allow him to fuck any girl he wants, then abandon her.

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