Web 2.0

Web 2.0 is only available on tiny little computers

Internet is still serious business

Web 2: bung some new code on an old app, and claim a REVOLUTION!

A simple guide from the Flock browser's website on how to share photos

Oh god what

Web 2.0 is a website which gets its copypasta from users rather than hiring employees for it. Unlike Web 1.0, Web 2.0 is constantly in Beta because the Web 2.0 developers realize their sites are full of shit content so they might as well let their tools be shit as well. With Web 2.0, now you can post something things you can never delete later, like your address, phone number of your ex girlfriend, your political views which you will be sued for, etc.

Web 2.0 websites are different from regular websites because instead of different designs of varying professionalism like Web 0.1, Web 0.5 and Web 1.0, Web 2.0 encourages using a single, pleasing design to ensure that all Web 2.0 sites look exactly the same. It is therefore overused and hence shit nonetheless.

Things you need in order to make your website Web 2.0

• Money
• Sam Stephenson and Ruby on Rails - the only programming framework sanctioned by the Web 2.0 governing body.
• Ajax - derived from "you are a jaxass"
• Lots of bubbly, brightly-colored icons, making it more attractive to retards, niggers, small children, women and cats.
• Rounded corners - right angles are strictly verboten. Someone might cut themselves or put out an eye.
• Non-threatening, safe colors: orange, green, baby blue and white. A safety feature for users on drugs.
• And perhaps most importantly, a name that is very easily noticed because it is different.

Features typical of Web 2.0

• Social Networking
• Java applets that work like any other open source software, except lower and more OTI
• More features that allow camwhores and Tawneelynne to share photos a lot easier
• More backdoors for viruses
• Interactivity via wireless LAN to control web-enabled sex slaves
• Unwanted Spam
• More serious business
• People getting the idea that their retarded fucking opinion actually means something because it's on YouTube
• Unnecessarily shiny graphics giving it a shitty vista appearance.
• Ads everywhere
• Bots talking in the name of your friends.
• People you may know (Bitches you may want to bang.)
• Provoking you into doing a lot of stuff and punishing you for it. (Sending too many friend requests and shit.)

How to profit from Web 2.0

Annoyed by CSS layouts that still don't work on IE?

Irritated by browser-consuming, useless "addons" that don't add a single atom of usefulness to sites?

Tired of fucking neckbearded, overweight Linux users making their sites "open source" and not letting you actually read anything?

Don't get mad, SABOTAGE WEB 2.0 SITES TODAY!:

1. Search "geocities metal black metal" on Google.
2. Click fucking everything
3. Save all .gif animations
4. Make own site with stolen images
5. Sell adspace
6. ?????
7. MOTHERFUCKING PROFIT!!!

• If you're French, you can also vote for Web 2.0 MAN the French minister of Digital Economy
• If you want to sabotage Web 2.0, see XSS

Sites that are totally 2.0

• Encyclopædia Dramatica
• Bebo
• del.icio.us
• Digg
• Failbook
• Flickr
• MySpace
• Omegle
• Twitter
• Wikipedia
• Yahoo! Answers
• YouTube
• 4chan
  • On December 6, 2007, mootle was bored and decided 4chan wasn't looking ENTERPRISE enough. That made him upgrade to Web 2.0, hoping that might attract some advertisers (fat chance, moot, even the dumbest ad network knows your site is completely unmarketable to anyone). /b/tards, like the 13 year old boys they are with nothing better to do, decided to throw a tantrum over a pointless main page layout change. In "retaliation," those same brain-damaged kids decided to start spreading rumors of needing 4chan Gold/Platinum/Diamond accounts via image macros, which was humorous for a while, until everyone but the most humorless /b/tards got bored of the forced gimmick. It eventually forced moot and the mods to start banning anyone who posted them.

Your interaction with a web 2.0 site

1. Post Something
2. Ask yourself if anybody liked, commented or shared what you posted for hours
3. Refresh the page thousands of times
4. Attempt to do something else
5. Quit everything you're doing and get back to the your post and refresh
6. Deny being in denial of being ignored
7. Tell yourself your post deserves more attention
8. Jump to step 2

The dilemma of a web 2.0 user

Leaving

When you leave a web 2.0 site, your "friends" often talk behind your back and post shit like:

• He never cared about us
• Nothing of value was lost
• Did he died?
• Cancer is over *blows a champagne*

Getting back

When you get back to a web 2.0 site, the first thing you realize is that nobody cares about what you do as much as you thought. Now because you are spending time on that web 2.0 site, people now can freely tell you that you have no life and you are a worthless piece of shit who's never getting laid and never going to, until you rape someone.

Problems With Web 2.0

• You post something and can't know when to expect a reply.
• You don't know exactly with whom you are communicating with.
• You don't know who actually has accessed or viewed what you posted.
• You are not safe because you can be sued for something you post.
• Your profile becomes what people think of you.
• People get offended when you don't add them as friends.
• People get offended by the things you post.
• People hold you responsible for what's happening in their news feed.
• You are not able to create a secret account. When you create an account, people you don't want to communicate knows about that account because the website suggests them to add you.
• The websites make disabling notification emails as hard as they can.
• The websites make deleting many things at once as hard as they can.
• People are not interested in meeting new people. They treat you like a weirdo when you want to socialize or communicate with new people.
• People post stuff for worthless, arbitrary karma points. This leads people not to express themselves but to post things which are appreciated by their community. This decreases diversity.
• There's an imbalance of seriousness in conversations.

Web 3.0

With web 3.0, your web activity becomes structured data so that any company can download your data and insert it into its own database and tell you to go fuck yourself. Web 3.0 has already begun in the form of Google crawling your searches and Youtube video browsing history (Google owns Youtube). With that information, Youtube recommend you videos to watch if you are registred. Jinni is a database website. It tells you which movies and tv shows you are going to like based on your previous ratings. Some argue that in the future of Web 3.0 you will be able to tell Google to do stuff for you such as planning your next vacation based on web information.

See Also

• Unrealistic expectations
• Chrome
• Internets
• XSS - keylogging possibilities on any web 2.0 website!

External links

• A web 2.0 browser - OMGWTFBBQ
• Wikipedia's article - The fact that people take this seriously is funny enough
• An instructional video describing how to use Web 2.0
• A general user's view of Web 2.0
• Web 2.0 may result in compatibility issues
• Anyone can make a Web 2.0 website

Featured article June 19, 2007
Preceded by Madeleine McCann	Web 2.0	Succeeded by Ytask