Furby

A Furby lollercaust survivor. Many people still doubt that this lollercaust ever happened.

A more recent Furby lollercaust survivor.

Eyes without a face...

Often referred to as your "emoto-tronic friend who's fun to be with," this androgynous mass of plush and machinery was hugely popular in the Christmas season of 1998. This fad toy was sold through mass advertising, leading many a yogurt-drooling kindergartner to horn over it until December. Disappointment came within hours of receiving a furbag, as kids quickly bored of interrupting the piss yellow "beak" with their fingers and fucking with its seizing eyelids. This turned out not to surprise anyone with a drop of common sense, as the unit would really just waste every battery in the house while twitching continuously and making demented screeches at 2 in the morning for absolutely no fucking reason.

One Wisconsin engineer's site he claimed "One Furby can detect another’s fit of schizophrenic hysteria and will join in the fun!". The designers were trying to create a new crack, but their definition of fun was a moaning assclown of a toy that was as limp in the sack as Hugh Heffner's prehistoric cock.

Love Hurts

Rave culture has reacted violently to the Furby. At first they were tolerated as a worthless emblem of Chinese toy dominance and allowed to live in segregation with the human population. Now, however, it is not uncommon for anyone in the scene to mutilate any Furby on sight. The device is often skinned, dissected, gutted and rewired to create nightmarish sounds which most ravers will dance eagerly to in a communal celebration of its demise.

Alternatively, Geek/Furfag culture heralds the Furby as something very special for all the same reasons that civilization as a whole shuns the device. Furbies were designed to look like the bukkake-spawn of Yoda and 20 Mogwai from Gremlins, keeping this insane toy barely marketable to them. Nerd Factor combined with the potential for some unknown DeviantArtist's uber hawt fan art will ensure they will fly off the shelves when Tiger decides to dig it up in ten years for re-marketing.

Not to be confused with a "furry", which is an entirely different species of overplushed cum backwash.

The New Design

Went from kinda cute to being INFUSED WITH PURE ARYAN BLOOD.

In 2005, Tiger Electronics decided their creepy design wasn't creepy enough and released a new version of the Furby, Furby-TX. It was love at first sight for Nazifurs. Its cold blue eyes ensured it would fit in at the next Rally, and the cup-like ears would serve as an excellent jizz repositories. They missed the most annoying aspects of the old toy, that shit everyone complained about. Luckily Tiger upgraded the beak motor to a 20 amp death machine, making it all too easy for /b/tards to loose a finger, tongue, or testicle in the orifice.

Furbychan

This sick bitch smokes out her furby, and rubs one out against it. To all the Internetz, I present you: Furbychan.

<video type="youtube" id="R5myyef4X5o" width="540" height="406" desc="Let's make this bitch famous!" frame="true" position="center"/> (Make sure you stick around till at least the two minute mark.)

As you can see, Furby has limited clit-pleasing capabilities.

Fucking with Friends' Furbies

It should come as no surprise that the sick fuck manchildren of 4chan fuck Furbies.

Furbies use infrared to hit each other up for gay sex. So when you shoot a Furby with another infrared source when a Furby is in heat, babby is formed. Non-Whore Furbies will have Heroin withdrawals, sneezing, shitting, and sleeping constantly until you stick your finger in its ass to reset the thing. This is a great solution when your Furby gets GRIDS or has decided that its name is Kanye West, which means your Furby is a Homosexual Black supremacist who will rap horribly and be a whining ass hat at the VMAs.

Furbomb

Boston bomb scare, but more plush.

1. Hide a Furby on your person, preferably taped to your torso using duct tape, along with assorted batteries and wires.
2. Take a cab to the airport, saying "Praise be to Allah for this day" as you exit.
3. Stare at people like you want to say something to them but can't.
4. Take the biggest shit in the bathroom and clog that fucker up right with paper, yelling "ALLAH".
5. Buy ticket for a Washington D.C. flight.
6. Just as you go through the metal detector at baggage check, look suspicious like there's something in your bag that's not supposed to be there. Ask nearby Security persons what they would do if there was a bomb inside your bag. Ask how many years you would get if you did have one in there. Ask everything short of outright saying "I have a bomb."
7. Piss off the airport security by making lewd gestures as you leave.
8. Get on the plane you fucking kook (Suspiciously). By now your actions have attracted the attention of the guards. They have your file, the list of everything you've ever fapped to. Security is gonna wait until the plane is almost ready for takeoff to take your oily, fat, faux-arab ass down.
9. Run the the plane's toilet as fast as possible. Disrobe and watch out for the motherfucking snakes. Wrap toilet paper around your skull and neck.
10. Run down the aisle while screaming "I'VE GOT A FUCKING FURBY BOMB EVERY ONE OF YOU FUCKERS IS FUCKING DEAD I'M GONNA SET IT OFF RIGHT NOW!"
11. Run into the cockpit and dick whip the unsuspecting pilot in the face.
12. Party Van arrives with too many bullets for your righteous islamic Furby to deflect.
13. ......................
14. ...Profit you ask? Possibly 72 Furgins.

Sources

• http://www.furby.com
• http://homepages.cae.wisc.edu/~wiscengr/issues/apr99/furby.html
• Sacrificed Furby #1
• Sacrificed Furby #2