No girls on the internet

The origins of the phrase "there are no girls on the Internet" (otherwise known as Rule 30) are lost in the sands of time. The saying was created at least 100 years ago, meaning it probably came from usenet along with pornography, child pornography, furry pornography, Rule 34, Unix, Linux, DOS, Windows, Mac OS X, AmigaOS 4, Koreans, Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka, and the Internet itself. Fucking usenet.

It is worth noting that when speaking of "girls on the Internet" one is speaking of actual Internet users actually tickling a keyboard. If you are speaking in terms of jpgs, gifs and videos, then the internet is almost entirely girls with only a few exceptions. Actually, everything you will read in this article is bullshit written by a basement inhabitant. There are absolutely no girls on the internet. No exceptions.

Popularity

"There are no girls on the internet" first gained popularity among what indisputably is the majority internet user demographic, the chronically unfuckable (not to be confused with the chronic unemployable, who often score huge slutpoints).

The phrase was in reference to the dearth of women who would own up to their gender in such company. Unlike IRL, where a woman unfortunate enough to be in the same room is forced to bear the presence of, or even be subjected to interaction with social retards, on the internet a woman need only not reveal her gender.

Of course, the general lack of confirmed vagina owners leads to a disturbing phenomenon known as the Nerd Rush. As observing a Nerd Rush discourages an intelligent woman from revealing her gender, and as less women reveal themselves, the more intense each Nerd Rush becomes, and some argue that women will eventually be driven off the net in a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is of course bullshit; women are whores, not Nobel Peace Prize laureates. As time goes by, there will forever be more and more attention-hungry sluts lacking the capacity to begin any sentence without saying "like, so" as a precursor.

Nerd Rush

The Nerd Rush seems an odd term. Surely it is impossible, due to extremely poor physical condition for a nerd to rush anywhere?

Correct.

However, Nerd Rushing requires only the use of a single hand, a requirement most often met at its bare minimum. It is typically started when a new user makes an introduction post revealing right off the bat that she is, in fact, female. Thus begins the frenzy as the pack descends, demanding documented evidence and proof.

[1] NERD RUSH!

Naturally, this is reason enough for girls to pretend to be guys. No one wants to deal with a bunch of horny nerds.

Pretending to be a girl on WOW gets you gold

It's true! [2]

SOZ NO, WoW is for lame men like Exod.

But anyone with brains knows that only 13 year old boys play WoW. If you fall for one that tricks you, post it on /b/ so we can give you advice. RULES 1 AND 2 FAGGOT!

Girls on the internet lead to TL;DR situations

[3] TL;DR

[4] Christ almighty

[5] NERD RAGE

Spotting a girl on the Internets

This is what they look like if they're not men

	“	Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.	„
	—Carl Sagan

An actual real internets girl will typically NOT engage in explicit description of her sexual organs or their current, past, or projected future engagements. For example, a real Internet girl might mention she is on her period. This is fine, well within realgurl guidelines and a clear warning to leave the immediate vicinity. However, she is unlikely to describe the vile seepages involved. Eg: "The crimson ichor of my wymenhood cycle is leaking from my puffy, raw vagina (that aches to be fucked)."

Don't fall for this shit and be fapping to a gay homo who has easily tricked you. Despite the delusions that many obese flabtards labor under the impression of, women are not a bizarre alien species but rather men with more interesting genitalia. As such, the sane versions do not have enough of a fixation with their own crotch equipment to write page upon page of interesting information concerning the clitoris.

Golden Rule: The Internet is a harsh mistress

Warning! IGNORE THE GOLDEN RULE AT YOUR OWN PERIL

DO NOT UPSET E-GIRLS!

No matter how fat, no matter how annoying, no matter how stupid, how slutty, how fucking shit-full a girl on the internet is, there will be a tribe of White Knights to defend her from any real or perceived slight. This will in each and every way lead to drama, either through swarm attacks on any outsider who attempts to pop the female's ever-growing ego, or the never-ending infighting as the virgin tribe attempt to win e-favor with whatever blubbery cakemonster they've barnacle'd themselves onto.

The golden rule can at any time be ignored for lulz. Please also refer to girl on the internet syndrome.

Gallery

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  NO U!
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  Can't find this on the internet.
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  A simulated situation, yet to happen.
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  Photos of women on the Internet: Near-mythological
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  MySpack: the exception that proves the rule.
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  The truth about women on the internet.
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  Even the Nazis knows that there's no girls on the Internet.
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  Science may have found the answer!
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See Also

• Rules of the Internet
• Girl Drama

No girls on the internet is part of a series on SCIENCE! [FizzlePop]

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