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Super Nintendo Entertainment System: Difference between revisions

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Revision as of 19:04, 11 June 2015

The SNES
The SNES
Woman playing with her Super Nintendo.
Super Nintendo Chalmers.


Genesis kills the NES

It became apparent to every fag working at Nintendo that their Nintendo Entertainment System was an old piece of shit. At first Nintendo did not care, until a company called Sega began making the Genesis. The Sega Genesis was extremely fast for its day, and it showed while retarded children played their Sonic the Hedgehog on it, Nintendo fags would have to play with a gay Italian midget plumber (no, I don't mean Ray William Johnson). This created much drama and lulz between the Sega and Nintendo nerds, arguing about who is the best idol, a furry hedgehog on ecstasy or some fag with Asperger Syndrome always shouting out loud "IT'S ME MARIO".


Typical Nintendo Fanboy


The Arrival of the Super Nintendo

Superstitious nigger wearing a 1-up T-shirt

Nintendo finally manned up, and grew a pair. Finally deciding to work on its own 16-bit console, it would take at least 100 years to build it. The birth of the Super Nintendo is a debate for Nintendo fanboys. Some believe that Miyamoto himself impregnated a lonely ROB the Robot. Still others believe that the Super Nintendo was first formed when a NES reached its breaking point while fighting Frieza on planet Namek. Of course, this is all purely dogma written by superstitious niggers, wearing 1-UP T-shirts.

Games

Many games were released for the Super Nintendo, including Super Mario Brothers World, Mario Kart, Final Fantasy VI, Donkey Kong Cuntry, Star Fox and Star Fox 2,and Hong Kong 97. Other games are significantly less interesting, and most games which were controversial such as Mortal Kombat and Lethal Enforcers were heavily censored so much, that people chose the Sega Genesis and Sega CD ports since they had blood (the SNES version of Lethal Enforcers replaced the "Innocent victim" blood splatter sign with a neon green "CAUTION" sign). For all its perks though, the SNES was not without its cancerous contributions. After all, it was from Mario is Missing that Weegee came about. Though Weegee wasn't in the SNES version of Mario is Missing, it gave way to the glorious PC version; which looks like it was programmed by someone with cerebral palsy.

The best Snes game ever made,and every copy was bought by this faggot.



A boss battle in Final Fantasy VI.

Emulation and Nintendo backwards compatibility

On over 9000 best games lists!

Emulation for the SNES format is very popular; almost every game for the SNES has a ROM somewhere. SNES emulators also gave way to a metric fuckton amount of shitty mods that everyone and their grandmother makes. Nowadays any monkey that can use a keyboard can create poorly made SNES gaems. Nintendo decided that backwards compatibility no longer mattered with the N64 and the Gamecube. This did not result in lulz. Nintendo is currently mooching off of the success of their old games with a full frontal assault on Nintendo fanboys. The Wii has downloadable content available via "virtual console", a fancy way of saying an Emulator that costs money, while at the same time they continue to sell rehashed Super Nintendo games on the GBA/DS. Also cocks.


Music/Sound

SNES fanboys praised the system for its superior audio-quality however many releases, including Zelda: Link To The Past, Super Metroid and Chrono Trigger, all sounded exactly the same as the previous generations NES titles. The cause of the SNES's shitty RAM and inability to stream from the cartridge was down to the programmers (mainly Japanese) being too poor to buy a good sound font. Thus they had to use GM, the shit you play for MIDIs in Microsoft Windows from DOS, and shortened them so they could fit it in Shigeru Miyamoto's ass. This resulted in a sound resembling something being played from a fucked-up cassette-recorder with clock-radio speakers. Most people remember the SNES for its orchestrated games but in retrospect they all sounded like complete shit taken to account how muddy the audio was. The music wasn't even that good. Some FF6 and Mariotards praise Nobuo Uematsu and Kji Kondo for "utilizing the power of SNES's sound hardware". Some argue that it at least sounded better than any music composed for the Genesis.



Example of high-end Mega Drive music.

Satellaview

Created Last Thursday, this was Nintendo's solution to the Sega Channel. With satellaview people could play the vidya online. Though most of the games were the same thing you could play on the SNES with little to no changes at all; only with every game having the letters BS at the end of them. Though BS F-Zero is probably worth playing because it actually has a fair amount of extra content on it.

Gallery

See Also

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