Bullshido.net

The breakdown of Gong Sau faggotry.

Bullshido loves CP.

Bullshido.net is what you get when you combine the age level of GameFAQs, the community of MySpace and the mentality of the userbase of IMDb. The website is famous for being the unholy shithole that 50% of internet tough guys originate from. Although the site claims to be a news site for martial arts topics and events, it's actually just Facebook for steroid-consuming assholes. Half of the topics are debating wet dreams over which professional UFC fighter could kick whose ass, and also flaming any purists who don't practice MMA because they are complete pussies.

	“	The most prolific members of Bullshido are a bit like superheroes: working towards the public good behind a consistent, masked persona.	„
	—Sean Trenor, Mob Justice

Message Board

WHAT'S UP BRO? You haven't posted a message in the past 5 minutes, so we're going to keep this message on all the pages you visit. Look how big this font is! This tells you that we don't fuck around. BTW, while you browse halfway down your browser window just to scroll past this BADASS message, be sure to check out all 50 ads we have on this page for your viewing pleasure. Advertisements for things like BODY BUILDING and GUNS and shit, because, you know, this is a message board for REAL MEN! NOT PUSSIES ON OTHER MARTIAL ARTS FORUMS. They don't know jack shit about real fighting because they aren't registered on this website. Remember that you don't keep constantly posting, you're a whiny little bitch ass pussy, and I fuck your mother all night. POST OR DIE

The web design of Bullshido.net is basically equivalent to that of an emo 14 year old on MySpace. Creating a page on Bullshido requires you to have at least 5 overlapping backgrounds, 24 images, 30 steroid advertisements, a font size that's bigger than your monitor resolution, and tons of colored text. Even if it's just the forum index. Unless your computer has 8gb of RAM, you're either fucked, or you have to close all your background processes, including the operating system, just to browse the website. And even then, it'll have more lag than the MW2 LAN party you hosted in your basement last week, you pathetic waste of fuck.

Community

Most of the posters on the forums are hicks or rednecks who have no fighting skill outside of watching UFC and owning a pair of $6.00 Everlast handwraps. Common posts include losers recording themselves shadowboxing, trolling, and talking about how much cooler BJJ is than competitive wrestling. If you can somehow dodge past the 40 advertisements on the pages, you might even find a boxing glove review here and there. Of course these reviewers are the same morons who don't actually practice a martial art, and try to teach themselves Judo in their friend's garage by watching professional YouTube videos.

Every thread found on Bullshido.net meets with the following cycle of events:

1. Guy posts videos of himself kicking a bag to prove his badassery
2. Guys critiquing those videos to prove their badassery
3. Other guys invading the thread to correct the critics
4. Flaming thread creator with vague terms like "leg kick"
5. Bots link to weight-lifting products
6. Bots link to steroids
7. Random Jet Li film reference
8. Commenting on the original guy's video stating that his workout room sucks

1. Troll post
2. Topic creator declares internet jihad and flames all responders
3. New member with 0 posts comments that he is in the same situation
4. Bot links to pornography
5. Topic creator responds to new member whilst ignoring posts and arguments from other posters
6. Retard posts a random Bruce Lee quote and nothing else
7. Retards notice that the thread has over 100 posts and decide to check it out
8. Flame war
9. Bot links to gun shops
10. Original critics from phase 2 quotes a random member's signature and claims that it contains false information
11. Random member from phase 18 responds to critic's signature critique, which causes an entire new discussion
12. With 13 arguments going on at once, the topic somehow changes to how Tony Jaa could kick Anderson Silva's ass
13. Random UFC fans enter thread and derail the topic
14. Other members join the thread asking which brand of boxing gloves is the best
15. Bot links to porn again
16. Retarded thread creator returns and asks for comments on his video, unaware of the fact that the last 62 pages have been arguments about stupid unrelated bullshit
17. Hell breaks loose
18. Moderator closes thread
19. ???
20. PROFIT!

Forums

Bullshido.net has four main forum sections with 18 sub-forums.

• Featured Martial Arts Discussion Forums

• MMA Forum: Mixed Martial Arts, Kickboxing, Grappling, Boxing, Wrestling, Judo, and more! Support the only sports that really matter. (Unless, of course, you're into watching grown men run around chasing balls. If that's your thing, we totally respect your lifestyle choices and such.)
• Your Martial Art Sucks: The Martial Arts General Discussion and Comedy forum. Take the gloves off and grammatically beat on each other and dead horses such as Style vs. Style, Chi, Ashida Kim, George Dillman, and related, retarded discussions. Lightly moderated, for blatantly obvious idiocy and NSFW or illegal content.
• Martial Arts BS, Fraud, Investigations, and Skepticism: The official forum for Bullshido. SERIOUS discussion on McDojos, questionable Martial Artists, and Martial Arts History only. Help us fight fraud in the Martial Arts by contributing well-thought-out threads and ideas on the subject. This is our showcase forum and raison d'être; please keep to the subject at hand and take the squabbling to YMAS or Trollshido. Strongly moderated for On-Topic posting.
• Boff Topic: Off Topic lives again! No MMA-related stuff. Go hog wild.
• General Skepticism: BS comes in many forms. This is the forum for everything from ghosts, to UFO's, 9/11 conspiracies, to overpriced speaker cables.
• Throwdown: Martial Arts meetup and sparring events. Separating the real martial artists from the virtual tough guys, form fairies, and keyboard warriors, in a no-ego environment. Kind of like Fight Club for people who actually know how to fight, and without all the stupid, pop culture bandwagoneers.
• Bullshido Classics and Mega Threads: This is the retirement home for some of the best (and worst) discussions from the history of Bullshido. The only forum where "Thread Necromancy" is tolerated. You can post to existing threads, but cannot start new ones here.

• Martial Arts Training Forums

• Basic and Misc. Fighting Technique Discussion: There's no shame in asking simple questions. The shame is in being too simple to understand the answers.
• BJJ and Advanced Grappling Forum: No BS Grappling Discussion. Advanced (at least BJJ blue belt level) techniques, strategy, and related topics go here. This forum is MODERATED with an iron fist.
• Advanced Striking Discussion Forum - Muay Thai, Boxing, etc.: Kick, punch, it's all in the mind. Advanced striking techniques, strategy and training discussion here. This is a moderated forum so don't complain when your stupid crap gets removed.
• Member Competition and Throwdown Footage: Footage of Bullshido Members in Martial Arts competition.
• Physical Training, Diet, and Health Forum: For the discussion of all forms of physical training you do, and your health and injury questions from Hemorrhoids to Steroids, Mesothelioma to Measles. Physical training and conditioning is absolutely essential because fighting is the most athletic activity in a human being can undertake. Don't be "that guy" at your gym or school, and you won't be "that guy" on the ground in a puddle in a fight.
• The Armory: Weapons, Military, LEO, and Self Defense Forum: Weapons and weapons tactics, Self Defense, Military and Law Enforcement discussion. Home to the Bullshido Shooters. Please take your hippie gun control BS elsewhere. The ARMA-type Martial Artists welcome as well. Essentially the RBSD forum minus the rabid paranoia or fearmongering. Prepare for the next zombie invasion here!

• Reviews, Videos, and Everything Else

• Bullshido.ORG Martial Arts Encyclopedia Discussion Pages: This forum (formerly the MA History Project) is where all discussion pages from topics on Bullshido.ORG get created. This forum is moderated for on topic discussion.
• Martial Arts in the News: Found a news story on martial arts on the WWW? Post it here, with proper credit to the source, and discuss your thoughts on it.
• Reviews
• Off Topic: Politics, Pop Culture, and Social Issues: Sociocide: Politics, Society, and all that rot. Pop Culture in its stupid face. Our sister forum for all things not related to Martial Arts. No holds barred discussion on current events, the latest technology, and the latest ideology; all with the familiar Bullshido, no-BS style. This homepage is still being developed, but the forums are open for business. No need to log in or register, you're already a member!

• Site Utilities

• Serious Business: Bullshido Member Classifieds and Trading Forum: You got crap? You sell crap here. Supporting Members and above can post threads here, anyone can respond.

Women

If you thought recording your friends grabbing each other's asses in a basement while wearing Tapout shirts meant you had no life, think again. The board known as Liquors, Loot, and Ladies is basically the equivalent to /b/ on 4chan. As the name implies, the forum is used to discuss topics relating to beer, women, and cash. Obviously this is a false statement, as every forum poster in the world lacks a job, a girlfriend, and prefer to drink Mountain Dew-branded "Gamer Fuel" than any alcoholic substance.

Despite the community claiming to be BAMFs, most of the threads you find here are by pussies crying over how their girlfriend broke up with them for playing too much Halo. Of course they don't actually say this, and replace it with something along the lines of "Yeah, my girlfriend wouldn't pick up my beer and M14 rifle from my truck, so I beat the fucking shit out of her and now she left. Fucking bitch." Analysts claim that this is the origin of the name Bullshido, and others have disputed that the entire forum is fake, because of the internet's rule 30.

Gong Sau Faggotry

Bullshido has had a history of of reasonable, intelligent adults challenging each other to a fight over the internet. Unlike other sites, though, challenges to fights (dubbed Gong Sau) are taken seriously. Almost no gong sau challenge ever actually happens, because bullies are pussies who would rather talk than fight. All the gong saus ever proposed on Bullshido so far fall into three categories:

• Everyone talks shit, and nothing happens. This happens a lot.
• If the fight is between a member of Bullshido and a non-member and the Bullshido guy loses, there is a good chance that no video will ever make it to the Internet. Example: a faygoat is toyed with by one kung fu black belt, then gets his ass wrecked by the second one:

	“	Although I didn't feel them at the time, now my shoulder is hurting from the axe kicks, and I'm unable to hold my right arm up. He consistently out punched me and snapped down my takedowns (I suspect he either prepared extensively beforehand or wrestled) for about ten minutes, though I got in a few leg kicks. I pull guard/start buttscooting when one of the other black belts suddenly runs up to me to stop the fight. Turns out my nose and lip were bloody.	„
	—Hedgehogey, learning that Kung Fu hurts.

	“	Train hard, go back pwn them even harder.	„
	—Darting Fingers, advocating for a rematch

	“	Hedge did extremely well. In the second match he was taking quite the beating, and he just kept coming back over and over. Really good spirit.	„
	—TaeBo_Master, giving Hedgey credit.

	“	Also, for the record he at least five major cuts on his face, we had a hard time mopping up his blood all over our floor...My student came to me and said I don't want to beat him any bloodier, what do I have to do to win this thing?	„
	—The kung fu master, laughing his ass off. Note that these people trace their lineage through Chewbacca.

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Fighting videos

There are only four known cases where one of these "fights" has actually been caught on tape. Check out these results:

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Investigations

Bullshido likes to investigate martial arts personalities they think are pussies or lying. Most of the time, is some retard wandering in and mumbling that maybe their local tae kwon do instructor is lying about being a Navy SEAL or a world champion martial artist. Then other retards run in circles around the first one, either yelling at him to prove it or telling him to kick the faker's ass. Nothing happens, nobody does shit, and life goes on.

One in a while, though, a concerned member will conduct a responsible investigation and expose the fake's private life for public amusement. This will win the investigator wide renown, lots of rep, and if he's really lucky, a banhammer. Because, srsly, who wants that creep around?

See Also

• Internet tough guy
• Steroids
• Serious business
• Flame war
• Arguing on the internet

External

• Don't click unless you're TOUGH SHIT!
• Tutorial on how to build muscles

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