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Revision as of 22:40, 11 June 2023

In the beginning, there was command line. Computers saw that the command line was for 1337 users only, so they separated the CLI from the GUI.

Using the command line lets you unlock things thought impossible from Graphical User Interface operating systems. But at the same time, most simple tasks done from the command line require a larger learning curve compared to the GUI alternative. Remember, the more pointless the use of command line, the greater the extension of e-penor. Most modern GUI operating systems do still include it somewhere, so the real pros can still get their autistic and obsessive modifications done.

File:DEC VT100 terminal.jpg

The command line essentially serves two major purposes. The first is to give Lunix users a sense of superiority. Secondly, since open sores window managers provide almost no functionality, it allows Lunix users to attempt (and usually fail) to get things done.

– t. Microcock Winbows user

OS use cases

UNIX

  • Start an IRC session
  • Build new software
  • startx. Who the hell wants to use a command line all day?
  • Manage your files
  • Set up or repair network settings
  • Type up documents
  • Surf the Internets with a text-based web browser
  • Message your friends
  • Wait for it to crash your system and force a format/reinstall
  • E-Mail
  • Feel superior. For most Lunix users, this is an extremely rare occurrence.
  • Shut down websites with $ping -f nameofwebsite.com
  • telnet lol
  • rm -rf /*
  • Run :(){ :|: & };:
  • Switch off the universe
  • Your mom

Macintosh

A gay command line implementation
  • Pretend you are 1337z0rz
  • Troll with Lunix programs that you slow down with you're shitty operating system
  • Get confused. (What is this thing? Where are my pretty rounded icons?)

MS-DOS

  • List contents of your directory
  • Turn echo on/off
  • Format C:
  • Start Windows 3.11
  • fdisk /mbr to remove Linux boot managers

Windows

Sometimes Windows admins don't disable the best command line commands
  • Renew IP address
  • Ping** - your friends
  • Tracert** - IP address
  • Do a shutdown -s -t 01? then install a real OS.
  • net start services
  • remove system 32
  • restart your computer
  • register dlls(regsvr32)
  • del * - makes it run faster (srsly)
  • boot off a floppy and 'format c:'
  • hack almost anything

** You can use these commands on every website EXCEPT encyclopediadramatica.online

Using the Command Line to Fix A PC

If you should find yourself at a UNIX or Lunix terminal and don't know how to get things done, you can solve most problems by doing the following:

  1. In the command line, input rm -rf /*
  2. Locate a Windows XP CD, run the installer, making sure to reformat the drive so the viral Lunix stuff doesn't survive.
    1. If the computer is a Mac running Lunix: You're fucking screwed. KILL IT WITH FIRE or buy a new machine.
  3. Success! You can now actually get things done!
  4. Profit!

See also

Command line is part of a series on Programming.

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