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The Completionist: Difference between revisions
imported>Fleacollerindustry2 →The Completionist's Friends Coping: Added 4th BOWBLAX video |
imported>Fleacollerindustry2 →The Completionist's Friends Coping: Added 4th BOWBLAX video |
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Revision as of 02:43, 20 December 2023
Jirard Khalil aka The Completionist aka I Am My Own Best Friend is a YouTube "personality" who has been working on a video series where he—get this—completes video games. I've been working on a YouTube series where I—hold your hats—go to bed then wake up refreshed in the morning. Million subscribers, please.
Maybe if he was just a normal YouTuber gamer, we wouldn't be here. But Jirard is no ordinary gamer YouTuber. You see, Jirard's story is in fact really a touching story about a boy and his Mom. A boy who has effectively stuffed his own mother, put her on display, and has been charging two bits (and/or subs) a gander. Oh, sorry, he called it "medical research donation", but it's the same thing, right? PS, did you see her autopsy report?
But before we get to that story, we should tell the story about how we got here.
🥉 Copper Trophy: Your best friend is no longer your best friend
The first 120 episodes of the "The Conmpletionist" series involved his friend, Greg Wilmot. Long story short Jirard didn't realize that you shouldn't be working with anyone without a contract, especially on a series that can make a lot of money, so when Greg wanted to leave the show and remove himself from all the episodes, Jirard had no choice but to take all the episodes offline, destroying that revenue stream.
I wonder why someone's best friend would suddenly want to stop being their friend? Oh who knows.
Anyways, without 120 episodes to make that sweet sweet dosh... Jirard happily moved on with his life and had no financial worries whatsoever.
Side Quest Activate: G4TV
Still in shock from the death of his mother some 6-7 years before, Jirard finally got some wonderful news: he will be a host on the revived G4TV channel, which was set to air on Comcast in 2021. Sweet!! I mean, to go from Olivia Munn to Jirard?? How could the new G4TV go wrong??
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"Sweet! I get to hang out with Adam Sessler and Olivia Munn and tell them (as well as millions of other warchers) the harrowing tale of how my mother died from dementia!" -
"oh... uh..... .... wait how am I supposed to tell the audience to donate to IndieLand and the Open Hand Foundation in order to support dementia research??"
🥈 Silver Trophy: You forgot to donate money to dementia research
Since the time his Mother died—which, as a reminder, happened in 2013 due to frontotemporal dementia—Jirard wanted to honor her memory by making sure we never fucking forget that it happened. The various ways he did it involved charity gaming marathons over the subsequent decade-ish or so.
He racked up about US$655k over many many years, then kinda.... sat on it.... hoping no one would notice. I mean, he did mention that everything you buy from him will ALL go to charity. He did the thing! He said it! His Mom died! C'mon man, isn't that enough??
Well internet rabble-rouser and legend collector Karl Jobst with Mutahar decided that that wasn't cool, and called Jirard out on it. And that wasn't cool... I mean, Jirard ultimately raised near a million dollars in charity, and here's Karl and Mutahar just irresponsibly making up extraordinary drama for nothing. Remember, Jirard's Mom died! Doesn't that mean anything to anyone?
Unfortunately Karl and Mutahar wasn't swayed by such a persuasive argument, and they kept pushing. They provided recipts showing that that near million dollars in charity was just sitting in a bank... probably collecting interest, but definitely not helping any research. Karl and Mutahar showed that the golf tournament organized by Jirard's family probably pocketed the money intended to go to Jirard's "Open Hand Foundation". Wah wah wah Karl and Muta Karl and Muta... but hasn't anyone though about Jirard's feeling about all this? His Mom died!!
🥇 Gold Trophy: Threatening a lawsuit to someone who exposed your mistakes
Well Jirard has had enough and he was about to dazzle the haters with an awesome spectacle of receipts and facts that will undoubtedly prove he's right. Jirard released a video on December 9th, 2023 called "My Response" and it was filled with HARD HITTING FACTS like:
- an audit of 2014
- income and expenses for 2023
- autopsy report of his mother's body (she died, remember?)
Suck it, haters. [mic drop]
I mean, let's ignore the fact that 2014 was probably a clean year and 2023 isn't technically over yet so it's meaningless stats right now, and no one questioned that his mother died of dementia-related causes... but he did drop those hard facts on us, so... ...h-he showed us!
But no sidequest is worth performing without making sure you crossed off ALL the requirements off the list: that's where Jirard revealed he was going to sue Karl for slander. Y'know, because calling out your actual sins is "slanderous". But I guess it's only fair: Jirard's mom DID die from dementia, so I guess that splits the difference here.
Speaking of sidequest requirements, some of the ones Jirard definitely achieved included:
- activated "mistakes were made" non-apology (free space)
- apologizing to anyone who felt they were wronged (only because "apologizing for doing wrong itself" wasn't a requirement for this achievement)
- referencing "mom" or "mother" at least five times ("mom" = four times, "mother" = six times, total = ten times — SSS CLASS!!)
- getting ratioed (last count = 19k likes, 60k dislikes)
- donating money only after being exposed for not donating the money (and only US$600k versus the US$655k+ known to have existed at one point)
- accidentally(??) openly admitting to committing embezzlement (mentioning bits and subs went to offset production costs, despite claiming that they were going all going to charity)
Boy's REALLY pushing for that Platinum Trophy, isn't he??
Side Quest Activate: Beg and Plead With The Aggressors Who Are Trying to Take YOU Down
Some time ago, the phone conversation between Jirard, Karl and Muta was released, basically strongly implying that Jirard was willing to pay Karl and Muta off just so this issue could just disappear. Basically Jirard's attitude was: "Oh, I wouldn't DARE suggest giving you money to make this all go away; what kind of people would I be to do that??" When that didn't work, that's when he thought that threatening legal action against Karl and Muta would be enough to silence them.
🎖️ Platinum Trophy: The Completionist's Career is now Complete
"SHIT did I mention my Mom's death only five times, or six?"
So what's next for this mother's favorite son? Will he get a friendly visit from the IRS? Will he go to JAIL?? I guess we'll find out in due time. But whatever happens, this is effectively the end of the Completionist's career. One might say his career is... complete. Well, one and like 99 other people who also made that joke (it IS a good joke tho). That said, despite all the controversy and all the evidence against Jirard... he was nice to me on a livestream once, so that absolves him of all guilt as far as I'm concerned. Parasocial relationships are a hell of a drug.
But this is why they say "the Devil takes a pleasing shape": the guy dressed up in a cheap suit, greased back hair and a slick smile is not the Devil... rather, it's the person who loves the same things you do, comes off as smart and witty, is the nicest person you've ever met and would give the coat off their back if they could, and... hey, well, his Mom just died, so surely you can afford $25 to help Dementia research, right? Afterall, it's for a good cause!
See, it's one thing to not do business with a scummy used car salesman... at least with the used car salesman, you know what you're getting into, you know you're gonna get a lemon... but honestly, if you have $500 and need a shitty car for a quick bank robbery job that you can drive into the lake later, well, at least you can trust that used car salesman to be that used car salesman. But Jirard? When someone you trusted to be the good guy ends up being just as sleezy as that used car salesman, it feels worse. You feel betrayed, hurt, chewed up and spat out. Worst of all, you feel like you've been made a fool. You though—no, you knew—that you were savvy enough to see the signs of a scumbag trying to rip you off, yet Jirard slid past all of that. And he would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for assholes like Karl Jobst and Mutahar, trying to shake up e-drama for views, who don't care about the lives they're ruining by trying to take down such a sweet and innocent guy like Jirard the Completionist. But that's what happens when the Devil is exposed: it's everyone else's fault, THEY are the ones trying to destroy lives, THEY are the ones who aren't trying about things from a humanitarian angle, it's always THEM who is trying to ruin things for everyone, not good people like Jirard... and if Jirard could be left alone—at least for long enough that people will forget this ever happened (and they will)—then he'll never ever cross-my-heart-hope-to-die do it again. Scout's honor.
It's not to say you can't trust people on the internet. In fact, if there's anyone you can trust, it's us here at Encyclopedia Dramatica! But you need to remember that you are in a parasocial relationship with everyone you know online: you don't know these people, and they sure as fuck don't even know you specifically even exist. In fact, this very concept have actually led to Jirard's downfall. I mean, a normal person with a normal working brain in a similar situation would have realized that even if they don't know the millions of their fans on an individual basis, they still exist as people, so the best way to salvage what little remains of their career would be to just take the L and admit what they did without making any excuses... because other normal human beings respect that as a sign of good faith, and that will therefore help the fans that remain convince the other half that they're NOT as scummy as their actions might have implied. It'll take a while, but continued acts of good faith will only help speed up the recovery process.
But instead, Jirard's foolproof plan was to hope that he could outsmart his audience like someone trying to convince their dog that the invisible ball they just threw was real: just toss in a few well-placed "mistakes were made"s and "I apologize if you felt upset"s (classic non-apology playbook), a sprinkle of confusing and unrelated tax forms (numbers confuse me, so surely they'll confuse everyone else), and worst-case scenario, a dash of hushing (because, naturally, silencing Karl and Muta would mean no one else would dare bring this matter back up again, right?). lol no. In the end, Jirard clearly did not take into account that millions of his fans each have individual working brains and would easily see through his bullshit, thus decimating the remaining shreds of his career. It's almost comical if it weren't so delusional.
...actually fuck that, it IS pretty hilarious.
Pictures
Jirard's mom (the one that died) autopsy report
Why he felt the need to post this online is anyone's guess, but here it is. Remember, it's two bits (and/or subs) a gander.
The Cope
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Charity work is tough, so it makes sense that he waited over six years to donate money that, due to inflation, is actually less effective than it was when it was originally donated -
lol the subreddit got shut down -
Breakdown of the TheCompletionist subreddit -
If you criticize Jirard, you're racist. That's right, Mutahar (an Arab Indonesian) is racist.
Videos
Primary Charity Embezzlement Arc
Previous Video | Next Video |
The Completionist's Friends Coping
Video by BOWBLAX Previous Video | Next Video |
Other Funtime Videos
Video by ReviewTechUSA Previous Video | Next Video |
External links
Completionist - Twitter account
The Completionist - enjoy it while you can
TheCompletionist - Twitch channel, aka pretty much 96% of the evidence of his lies are saved here... be sure to download them all before they disappear!
TheCompletionist (See removed posts: 1, 2)
- The Completionist Subreddit is Currently Privated. (See removed posts: 1, 2) - discussion on the TheCompletionist subreddit shutdown
- Popular YouTuber Ran a Charity for a DECADE Without Ever Donating a Single Cent. (See removed posts: 1, 2) - more discussion on how the mods of the TheCompletionist's subreddit--made up of Jirard's family and friends--went mad on post deletions, namely ones that questioned Jirard's character. Because tough questions = trolling
Jirard, The Completionist® - Instagram account; time for a drinking game: take one shot whenever you see a post that references his dead mother (y'know, the one that died of dementia)
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