Cotton Ceiling: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 18:10, 11 January 2017

With the sudden surge of autards on Tumblr switching from being "male" to being "lesbian" purely through force of whim, a new schism has grown between the trannies and the lesbos. It's called the Cotton Ceiling and it is what happens when hairy middle-aged men crossdress to become pretend lesbians, only to be rejected by actual lesbians.

The Long Version

Think about the latest crop of lolcows. Notice how many of them are fugly autists with obvious five-o-clock shadow and pancaked on foundation who declare themselves to be trans... but don't go through with the surgery to make their bodies match their "inner selves". Sure, maybe they want to keep peeing standing up and writing their name in the snow; but it's mostly because they still want to fuck women with their sad, sad excuse for genitalia.

Y'see, after all those years of trying to pick up girls only to be told "No thanks, I'm a lesbian" they had a revelation. If they put on dresses and makeup and became "lesbians" those girls couldn't try that gambit anymore. He could just answer "You're a lesbian, eh? Guess what... So am I!"

Soooooo, they tried being "men" and failed at that. So now, they try to be "girls"... and fail at that. For awhile, this sad sequence of fail repeated itself over and over and over again; until one day, they actually started to actually hit on actual real lesbians. Offering their cock to actual lesbians. Let me repeat that, because it bears repeating:

They started offering dick to girls who -- by definition -- aren't into dick.

Needless to say, the dykes were totally uncool about it and starting rejecting the pseudo-men so savagely that the inner MRA/conspiracy nut that exists in every Y Chromosome was triggered. Soon a trans porn star got rejected by a lesbian porn star and the War Began in Earnest!

Cavalcade of Dueling Butthurt

For a bunch of dudes without ovaries... they spend a lot of time on the rag.

This is how stupid this argument eventually gets...

The Shorter Version

It all started on a porn shoot. Drew DeVeaux (who is a trans-"female" -- note the sarcastic air quotes -- porn star) was supposed to be in a scene with Lily Cade. Lily Cade is totally 100% lesbian and totally not interested in cock, like, at all. Not even "female" cock. So the scene never happened.

This rustled Drew DeVeaux's jimmies (or whatever it is that a trans-female porn star keeps in her scrotum) and she went on a self-righteous bitchfest about a "Cotton Ceiling" that prevents trans women from successfully docking with sweet, sweet lesbo-poontang.

Now, the trannies are all in an uproar because the refusal of lesbians to drop trou on command is akin to transphobia and misgendering and bigotry.

We all know that there is no greater sin than misgendering, amirite?

Well, except vag-hoarding, apparently.

Hearing that line of bullshit sent the lesbians into another uproar because the trannies demanding that they drop trou on command is super-rapey Rape Culture of Rapey Rapeness.

Now every time the lesbians say "I don't want cock. Any cock. At all. From anyone" the trannies hear "You are not a real woman."; and now every time the trannies say, "Aw, c'mon, just lemme stick it in... it's good for the Movement. You don't want to look like a transphobe, do you?" the lesbians hear "Oh, look at the time... its Rape O'Clock!"

Nobody will budge an inch. Both sides demand that the other check their fucking privilege. All the non-trans cis-het scum shake their heads in confusion.

The SUPERshort Version

Pre-Op Trans: I now girl. You make snu-snu with me. True Lesbo: Ewww... U hav Cawk. Pre-Op Trans: AM GIRL! U FUCK MY GIRL-COCK! True Lesbo: NO LIKE CAWK! Pre-Op Trans: Y U NO WORSHIP GIRL-COCK!? U TRANSPHOBE! ME FUK U NOW! True Lesbo: CAWK IS ICKY! Pre-Op Trans: Well this is an undeniable example of the hypocrisy in the cisgender community, and their failure to see past the purely notional social construct known as "gender". Your constant misgendering of me is proof that you are worse than Hitler. Now stop playing "hard to get" and gimme that vag, you fascist oppressor. True Lesbo:... No like Cawk.

TL;DR Version

If you have a cock, lesbians don't want any of it. Period. Stop being a drama queen.

Key Quotes

	“	"I've been beat up by a chick I once "dated" because when she told me she was pre-op trans on the second date and while trying to hold back a panic attack, very calmly said "I have issues with male genitalia. Is it ok if we don’t get intimate genital-wise until you’re post-op?" and she went off on me, yelling at me saying I should enjoy her penis because its a part of her."	„
	—Dyke who was Almost Raped

	“	"Cotton Ceiling" is about TRANS women & OUR sexual exclusion b/c cis ppl believe we are not "real"!	„
	—Maybe because you aren't?

	“	"This author is not a woman but a fucking man in a dress, I can tell. Nobody wants your dick so fuck off."	„
	—Dyke who will bite off your dick if you try to rape her.

	“	Y U NO WORSHIP GIRL-CAWK!?	„
	—What it boils down to.

	“	"The Cotton Ceiling is a rape culture concept invented by porn star Drew Deveaux, a transgender woman, to discuss why lesbians are bigots for not having sex with transwomen."	„

Trolling

This article needs moar examples of how to troll both sides.
You can help by adding moar examples of how to troll both sides.

How to Troll the Tranny Faction

Ask them why they don't just get the surgery so they can be "real" women?
Pretend to be a cis-gay man and offer to "make a woman out of them" by drilling their asshole. If they refuse, call them homophobic fascists.

How to Troll the Lesbian Faction

Ask them "What is so bad about cock. It's not like it's a 'man' trying to fuck you."
Just offer to make the tuna eater into a "real" woman with your bulging female member. If they refuse, call them homophobic fascists.

Gallery

Pics About missing Pics

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Y-Chromosome Bearing Jackasses stopped by the Cotton Ceiling

Adf-fuensalida/Ahuviya Harel
Chris-Chan
Riley Dennis
Sceptre
Half of the anti-GamerGate crowd.
3/4ths of Tumblr users.
And the entire fanbase of Assigned Male

@@ Line 124: / Line 124: @@
 * [[Special Snowflake Syndrome]]
 * [[Transphobia]]
+* [[Transtrender]]
 * [[Trigger Warning]]
 * [[Trolling Induced Transsexuality Syndrome]]

Featured article January 22 & 23, 2016
Preceded by Global Warming	Cotton Ceiling	Succeeded by New Mexico

Cotton Ceiling: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 18:10, 11 January 2017

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