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Suzi Olsen: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 08:58, 30 May 2023
Note: this is an article about a former Encyclopedia Dramatica user.
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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM. |
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Warning! Drama has started as she found this article and had it removed from a Google search. She joined us and started attempted baleetions |
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Olsen believes this article is defamatory. It's true, dammit! It's all true, dammit! |
Suzanne "Suzi" Olsen (AKA Sooz) is a paranoid self proclaimed bi-sexual feminist fat dwarf from Australia who has gained all the attention she wants through intentionally causing flame wars by thoughtless "pranks" that she blames on everyone but herself. She is a compulsive liar, a closet transwoman and has been banned from numerous forums for trolling, drama, racism and general faggotry causing her to create her own forums. She claims to be autistic but this is a dishonest self diagnosis based on an e-psychiatrist who was leading her on and letting her muff dive on her due to her having the hots for Ellen Degeneres. She could well be suffering from undiagnosed Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or paranoid schizophrenia and as of August 2018 there is an ongoing boycott of her forums due to excessive abuse. She has a collection of dildos for secks, has debts in excess of $11,000 and is into pissing and farting and supports the use of domestic violence.
She follows the North Melbourne Aussie rules football club, who keep her as member despite kissing the then President's personal assistant on the lips in 2011. She was a member at the Hawthorn club until she was caught trying to molest the mascot before the 2008 Grand Final. She believes that anyone famous in Australian rules is her cousin. The list includes;
- Brad Scott but not Chris Scott
- Corin Rowe
- Peter Schwab
- Luke Toia
- Aaron Lord
- Anthony Stevens
- You
She eats family pets, in particular cats and dogs, and is a known racist having abused an Asian and never fully apologising for it. She also defends kiddie fiddlers like Robert Hughes and George Pell, thugs like Andrew Gaff who punched out an opponent on the sporting field and racists like Peter Dutton who believes all gangs in Victoria are from South Sudan. She has also attacked the women of the MeToo movement, and has never held down a job in her life.
Habitual lying troll
She constantly lies about her life and when anyone challenges her she threatens to report the person to Victoria Police, Consumer Affairs, Telstra, the AFP, Elon Musk and even the Party Van. She has also issued death threats. Her beliefs include;
- Respect is automatic - it is not earned
- Hawaii is part of Japan
- The West Indies is part of the United States of America
- Croatia and Bosnia are part of Russia
- Melbourne Airport and Tullamarine Airport are two separate airports
- To get from Melbourne to Geelong it is quicker to go via Ballarat
- Believes that pissing relieves a man's boner
- Captain Cook sailed into Botany Bay in 1788 meaning that his death in Hawaii in 1779 was fake news
- Australian is a race, not a nationality
- Indigenous Americans are African Americans, not Native Americans
- Autism is caused by the DSM-5 gene
- Donald Trump is the President of Canada
- A man named Graham Groves died in a bus accident (he actually fled to New York City)
- Mark Latham used to be the Premier of Victoria
- Perth, Australia has the exact same weather as Manila, Philippines
- Anyone who looks at her forums is a stalker
- Any sports reporter who prints a rumour should be fired
- A hole in the heart stunts your growth
- Denies any death threats
- Believes that the influenza vaccine contains penicillin
- Hates renting anything - wants to buy even when one can't afford it
- Putting restrictions on out of control teenagers is discrimination
- A doughnut is really a bagel
- A muffin/biscuit is really a scone
Aussie Footy Forums
Olsen's own forum has been a treasure trove of drama. Her original forum was at aussiefootyforums.com but Amazon closed the site when she refused to pay her bill for their ads. More recent thread titles included "Jade's has dicks on his mind", "shitterfooty are actually full of narcisstic wankers" and "Kingy and his abusive comments on shoutboxes". She posted a warning note from Pro Boards and ignored it persisting in her drama faggotry. She constantly changes the location through multiple domains and providers to try and hide her lies, drama and faggotry, but she always advertises it somewhere. Membership numbers vary like a revolving door with Olsen banning people and then letting them back in anyway.
In December 2018 and into January 2019, even HipForums banned her - four times using screen names like "thethinkingcat" and "peewatcher". Her host suspended her own forum in late December and this was fixed through pimping. She also charges $500 for anyone who thinks they can live rent free in her head.
The "Idiot File"
Since the interwebz started Olsen has run an "Idiot File", used as an excuse for shitting herself over little things like a bit of fun, snarking and so on. It has been called the "Imbecile File" as well. She attacks randoms under their screen names of "Da Psych", "DVB", "Melty", "North attack", "Childishfooty", "Kingy" and "Jade's" but never real faggots like Bruce Jenner, Chris-chan and Jodie Foster.
Some of the more recent reasons have been (these are all true by the way);
- Looking at her forum
- Talking about a court case she was involved in
- Pointing out her threats
- Pointing out she hasn't passed her photography course
- Pointing out an angry emoticon reaction
- Stating the "haters" are right about her
- Answering an advert on Twitter to rub the belly of her cat
War against Big Footy
Olsen has been banned 30 times from the forum at Big Footy. She has rejoined multiple times thinking no one will notice and she is allowed to stay as a game for regular members to enjoy until she inevitably has a meltdown annoying others and is banned again. She claims this is for no good reason and believes Big Footy should allow anyone to join, when they do - except for paranoid self proclaimed bi-sexual feminist fat dwarves, racists and serial abusers like Olsen. She thinks her forum is better because she will let anyone in no matter what and her forum doesn't have double standards when it does. Her forum has never had many members whereas Big Footy has over 100,000. As early as 2005, Big Footy inaugurated the Suzi Olsen Award for the stupidest person of the year. Butthurt, Olsen sued the site for defamation and won a recording session with the Futuristic Sex Robotz that never happened.
Rumour file
Promoted as "Breaking news", the rumours about Olsen are hot and heavy;
- Suzanne Olsen had a threesome with the 2 drag queens from AAMI's Broken Heel ad last night at Mildura West
- Hearing Magda has taken out a restraining order against Sooz. Seems after breaking up with the Hippo, Sooz hasn't handled it well, and has thrown poisonous snakes inside Magda's house
- Suzanne Olsen arrested for sucking George Pell off publicly in Main Street, Ballarat
- Suzanne Olsen caught rolling around in horse manure and eating it
- Suzanne Olsen arrested for trying to steal dogs from the Ballarat pound so she can have sex with then then cook them.
- Suzanne Olsen arrested for lighting her own farts inside Ballarat Best and Less in a revenge attempt to kill the manager who sacked her for spitting on a customer
- Suzanne Olsen has been evicted from her unit in Mt Clear after leaving feces all over the carpet and walls, in protest of not getting what she wants for Christmas from Daddy John
- Suzanne Olsen arrested with sodomizing 8 gorillas both male and female at both Melbourne and Werribee zoos.
- Suzanne Olsen arrested for trying to stalk and kill a 'VLine Troll' by sitting on his face and doing non stop farts.
- Suzanne Olsen charged with allegedly trying to kill Desmond Tutu by emailing shit selfies of herself. Tutu suffered cardiac arrest upon seeing Sooz's ugly hairy, hippo bits.
Legal threats
Olsen was allegedly being sued for $64,000 for defamation. Shit got real. Proceeding was struck out with right of reinstatement to the Supreme Court as long as Olsen gave the judge a blowjob while muff diving Monica Lewinsky. She was forced to apologise. Also said we'll stop doing what we're doing here when we won't as it is news.
Famous quotes
Olsen is infamous for pwning herself in suffering from clear USI.
—Olsen demanding respect first | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Reaction to this article
Severely butthurt Olsen hit the autistic tantrum like Donny Long. She started by having this page removed from a Google search on her name.
She then announced on one of her many forums;
—He didn't make it, fun killer | ||
She had vandalised this page blaming others for her words. She called on one member to "grow up" and launched into name calling like a little fuck needing one, failing to notice that she was blaming the wrong user for the article's creation. Baleeting the section on her forum Aussie Footy Forums she replaced it with this;
—LAWL!!! | ||
She also removed the Famous Quotes section and put this;
—More legal threats? | ||
And she replaced the Gallery with;
—LAWL!!! | ||
When her vandalism was reverted, she came back and removed all the sub sections and wrote this;
—Butthurt Attorney at lol and psycho LAWL!! | ||
The banhammer soon followed, ending this act of faggotry. She said on her forum in response;
Clearly she can't stand the lulz.
Ways to troll Suzi Olsen
- Wait for her to make a statement that is obviously wrong
- Politely point out the error
- Remind her of past errors (see "Habitual Lying Troll" above)
- Tell her she has FAS
- Add proof
- Watch for the meltdown, legal threats and/or death threats
- Rinse and repeat
"Pictionary"
Olsen started playing Pictionary with another forum thinking that it will force them to let her return to it. Said forum LOLed.
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What is this? -
Kid style again -
Long arms..... -
Banana on box? -
Holey Moley -
Shit Grass -
Turd Lollipop? -
WTAF?? -
Shit and Piss
Gallery
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My brain is about to explode! -
Dandruff? -
I'm ready for my close up..... -
Needs anger management -
Stolen medals? -
Dumb look..... -
Another dumb look..... -
No one listening? -
Can't draw faggot -
Still can't draw -
STILL can't draw faggot -
Be afraid, man. She's a maniac. -
Preparing for attack -
Hiding the ugly
Links
These can constantly change due to Olsen trying to hide from herself, switching from private to public, and empty sites could be filled again.
- Her current main website
- Her main website other folder
Her original main websiteBALEETED- Her alternative main website
- Her personal main website
- Her first other back up website
- Her second other back up website
- Twitter #1
- Twitter #2
- You Tube #1
- You Tube #2
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Suzi Olsen is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
