- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
User:Hipcrime/kr rewrite: Difference between revisions
imported>Hipcrime it will have to do until someone else comes along to fix the mistakes and poor writing |
imported>Hipcrime it will have to do until someone else comes along to fix the mistakes and poor writing |
(No difference)
| |
Revision as of 14:47, 8 February 2022
Kyle Rittenhouse is an expert marksman and lifeguard, who was charged and acquitted of the murders of a wife beater and a pedophile, and of disarming a burglar during a riot in Kenosha, Wisconsin. All of this is unacceptable behavior because of our values and our democracy and our tranny armies. Due to the intentional accidental murder of Satanic Jews Joseph "JoJo" Rosenbaum✡, Anthony "Choke that shiksa" Huber✡, and the maiming of crypto-Jew Gaige "Bye-ceps" Grosskreutz, the evil white supremacist Second Amendment fanboy, Kyle Rittenhouse was acquitted of the slaying and maiming of these Antifa-affiliated rioters mostly peaceful protestors during the Summer of Love, 2020.
Background
Like many a strapping, idealistic young American male, Kyle Rittenhouse was raised to be a helper. Unlike you, he actually got off his ass and did something about the destruction of his country by leftist faggots and welfare recipients. He brought along a racist scrub brush, for scrubbing away messages of black empowerment, and a totally racist rifle, which he used to racistly murder two fellow whites, and maim a third white person, because he is a mean racist who must be stopped so that Western values can be spread. Western values like AIDS, child trannies, and genital mutilation.
Kenosha
On August 25, 2020, Rittenhouse heard that a rampaging mob of mostly peaceful niggers and Antifa deviants were on their way to downtown Kenosha, Wisconsin in order to avenge the shooting of unarmed nigger criminal Jacob Blake by looting and burning the property of black business owners who were probably racists anyway. Kyle Rittenhouse grabbed his indispensable tool of white supremacy — his AR-15 — and headed to Kenosha to protect the property of a probably racist Greek car dealer who deserved to lose it all to a bunch of niggers and Jews because he is probably a racist and a transphobe too.
After being attacked, chased, and threatened, Rittenhouse blasted through two Antifa faggots and blew the bicep off a third while doing an awesome ninja barrel roll and maintaining full control of his AR-15 throughout the maneuver—yes, firing off three shots each of which hit their targets while he was rolling. This could only be explained by Rittenhouse's constant use of violent videogames which are also all racist.
Rittenhouse’s perfectly executed, reality-bending, Matrix-style killshots would've been doubted by everyone if they were not caught on video. Fortunately for domestic terrorist, racist, and Jew remover Kyle, this footage would be utilized by a racist jury to acquit him. Such a deft maneuver has never been equaled by anyone. Fearsome warriors such as the Navy Seals (racist), the Green Berets (also racists), and the U.S. Army’s Delta Force (omg supar racists!) are absolute pikers compared to 17-year old Rittenhouse’s combat readiness and agility and operational ferocity in Kenosha, which was honed by racist and violent videogames that are contrary to our values and our democracy which are all also racist.
Response
Rittenhouse’s epic misdeeds divided the Amerifat peoples, with the Right Wing Death Squads regarding Rittenhouse as God Among Men, bringer of good news near the level of Jesus Christ, and a master of self rivaling the Buddha; while the mostly peaceful rioters regard him as the Anti-Christ (except for people who worship the Devil).
Trial
Fortunately, America has been overtaken by cultural marxism and faggotry and tranny rapists. As such, prosecutors in Kenosha attempted to send Saint Kyle to meet Bubba for defending America from innocent pedophiles, kikes and bitch chokers. The odds were in favor of supreme justice, and the local prison populations drooled over the prospect of hosting Rittenhouse. Indeed, Kyle faced off against half an entire country overtaken by cultural marxist re-education, their propaganda outlets, a demonstrably corrupted FBI (founded by a tranny), and the Biden dictatorship itself. And yet, Kyle WON, probably because of racism somehow. Biden’s attempts to snuff yet another minor were thwarted by the power of truth and (appropriately) the prosecution’s incompetence and racism. The prosecution’s correctly stated that Saint Kyle expertly planted a racist mole in the demonic legions to ensure their defeat in court. Regardless, this American villain has been acquitted and freed to do what he does best: killing commies, so make sure to fear him especially if you are a criminal Jew. Should we all be brave enough to resist his example.
Gallery
-
Fan art -
Anthony Huber -
Joseph Rosenbaum -
Fan art -
Gaige Grosskreutz -
Binger BTFO'd -
-
One thing’s for sure—the Ritt don’t quit -
Please don't cry, LeBron -
-
-
-
Burn baby burn
-
Kenosha Kid
-
-
One of many tributes to Rittenhouse -
Good riddance to these guys. -
Cry more Antifa—our boy was acquitted. -
-
Kyle exits the courthouse after being fully acquitted -
-
Rittenhouse was a brony -
-
-
-
-
-
-
The proper response to "he crossed state lines!"
See also
- Antifa
- Racism
- Riots
- George Zimmerman - Also not guilty or white.
- Wisconsin
