Angst

Angst

Angst (from the German word "Angst", which means "delicate shoestring") is an emotional state of mind, located somewhere in the United States of Africa.

Clinically speaking, angst is anxiety often accompanied by depression. This can usually be traced back to over protective parents who make their small-pussied children too weak to understand the real world. On the Internets, however, angst comes in several varieties, as follows:

Fanfiction "Angst"

Furry angst!

In fanfiction, "angsting" is the general brooding, whining, pissing, and moaning of a character, usually related to unrequited wuv or their confusion regarding sudden, unexpected onset of rampant homosexuality. Punctuated by florid prose and woe-is-me dialogue.

A typical example of angst in fanfiction would read as follows:

Mister Spock sat alone in his dark, lonely quarters, a look of anguish on his usually stoic Vulcan visage. When had he first developed these illogical feelings for the Captain, and why had he been so resistant to facing them until now?

Teenage "Angst"

Anger has to be released. Or you will end like this artist.

Minus the "florid prose", teenage angst is very similar to fanfiction angst (see above), insofar as it involves quite a bit of brooding and whining. Symptoms also include crawling in one's skin. Teenage angst can be triggered in much the same way as fanction angst, though it can also be caused by break-ups, feelings of isolation (read: "No one understands me!") and the occasional grounding by one's parents.

Teenage angst is most commonly associated with sixteen year-old girls, attention whores, goths, trucker hat wearing hXc scene fags and the entire emo genre as a whole. It also results, seemingly on a daily basis, in many instances of cutting, attempted suicides and lots of bad poetry (much of which tends to get documented on LiveJournal).

Richkid "Angst"

File:ANGST.jpg

True to the theory that most emos are upper middle class, Richkid angst is a popular phenomenon. Rich kids will bitch about how bland their life is and how they have no real friends. They will decide to learn guitar, and make their parents pay $500 for one. After two weeks they will ditch it. Rich kids have little reason to care, because they can smoke all the drugs they want and their uptight lawyer parents will pay for every cent of it. That's the beauty. White trash never experience this angst, because they are too busy shooting cans in a trailerpark to worry about life.

NOTE: All of the aforementioned take it in the ass. That's what expensive private schools are for, aren't they?

Geekboy "Angst"

Why do all the nice girls hate ME, and run after the nasty bastards who will treat them badly?

Mild-mannered, unsexy geekboys tear out their hair, wring their hands and ask this question of every girl they ever meet; the girl in the comic shop, all of their sister's friends, all of their mother's friends, and most of all the one sad, pathetic girl who plays the neutral-good-cleric in their role-playing game.

The answer is always the same, but small variations in different cultures.

YOU ARE SOCIALLY AWKWARD YOU BASEMENT DWELLER

Many angsty geekboys can be found declaring their angst on the internets, mainly on eljay but also MySpace (British angst can be found in spades on TSR). One prime example, SexyTechMage claims that all women show him only disdain and disrespect. From this, he has deduced that all women must be evil. Is he insane? Is he a pedophile? Or just another special guy with Asperger's Syndrome?

German Angst

• Die Angst ist das Befürchten möglichen Leidens und bezeichnet somit eine Empfindungs- und Verhaltenssituation aus Ungewissheit und Anspannung, die durch eine eingetretene oder erwartete Bedrohung (z.B. Schmerz, Verlust, Tod) hervorgerufen wird.

• Directly translated in English, word by word: The Angst is the Fearing of possible suffering and bedraws therefor a reception - and behavioursituation out of uncertainty and strain, those by an entered or expected threat (e.g. pain, loss, death) ago.

Many Germans suffer from angst because in Germany, you can't even take a shit in a public toilet without first forking over some Jew gold. (Yes, really. You have to pay to take a shit in Germany.) Some argue that this is owed to the fact that Germans are prone to frequent bouts of explosive diarrhea due to drinking excessive amounts of skunky beer, but this remains unproven.

Facts about ANGST

1. Kidz who have the angst often confuse this with teh aids.
2. These same kids might shoot up their schools.
3. Girls have angst when they learn that their vagina will bleed for the REST OF THEIR LIVES. Also, they have it after their uncle bob sodomizes them.
4. The POPE has angst because he is not a Jew.
5. Jews have angst because they are Jews.
6. Niggers have angst because the whole world is out to get them. They're right.
7. People with aids have angst because they are gay and or black.
8. Osama bin Laden has angst because George Bush is Dick Cheney's bitch now.
9. England has angst because England is full of English people. Pakis, Niggers and Chavs.
10. Australia has angst, and no one gives a shit.
11. America invented angst.
12. Your mother has angst because of your bad case of Mantrain

See also

• Angsty Teen
• Attention Whore
• Cutting
• Self Injury
• Emo
• Goths
• Sixteen Year-Old Girls
• Suicide
• Teenager
• Pope quilty

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