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Netflix: Difference between revisions
imported>Chekles Updating numbers removing dead/outdated links |
imported>Chekles Inserted cuties.... Merge? |
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In a land before time, Netflix existed as an alternative to something known as [[Blockbuster]], a place where you physically had to go to in order to watch a movie. Our crack research team has still not come to the conclusion if you had to hit the movie over the head with a club, and then drag it back to your cave, or how it actually functioned. Back then you ordered the movie you wanted to see by actual snail mail, then waited 3 weeks for the movie to be delivered. Probably because of slow internet. It quickly became popular as you could rent an unlimited amount of porn for just $19,99 a month. But of course 16 year old girls destroyed it, as they spent more money on renting shitty [[Disney]] flicks than losers were spending on porn. So Netflix ditched the porn in favor of [[work safe|family-friendly]] fare. Netflix utterly destroyed Blockbuster when Netflix finally thought of actually using the internet to stream movies. | In a land before time, Netflix existed as an alternative to something known as [[Blockbuster]], a place where you physically had to go to in order to watch a movie. Our crack research team has still not come to the conclusion if you had to hit the movie over the head with a club, and then drag it back to your cave, or how it actually functioned. Back then you ordered the movie you wanted to see by actual snail mail, then waited 3 weeks for the movie to be delivered. Probably because of slow internet. It quickly became popular as you could rent an unlimited amount of porn for just $19,99 a month. But of course 16 year old girls destroyed it, as they spent more money on renting shitty [[Disney]] flicks than losers were spending on porn. So Netflix ditched the porn in favor of [[work safe|family-friendly]] fare. Netflix utterly destroyed Blockbuster when Netflix finally thought of actually using the internet to stream movies. | ||
Because now you can watch Netflix on pretty much everything, unless you want HD, but we will get to that. | Because now you can watch Netflix on pretty much everything, unless you want HD, but we will get to that. | ||
==[[Cuties]]== | |||
"Cuties" is a pedo movie exclusively on Netflix to unite it's general audience of sick fucks. More can be found above. | |||
==Netflix and Chill== | ==Netflix and Chill== | ||
Revision as of 01:18, 4 July 2021
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In a land before time, Netflix existed as an alternative to something known as Blockbuster, a place where you physically had to go to in order to watch a movie. Our crack research team has still not come to the conclusion if you had to hit the movie over the head with a club, and then drag it back to your cave, or how it actually functioned. Back then you ordered the movie you wanted to see by actual snail mail, then waited 3 weeks for the movie to be delivered. Probably because of slow internet. It quickly became popular as you could rent an unlimited amount of porn for just $19,99 a month. But of course 16 year old girls destroyed it, as they spent more money on renting shitty Disney flicks than losers were spending on porn. So Netflix ditched the porn in favor of family-friendly fare. Netflix utterly destroyed Blockbuster when Netflix finally thought of actually using the internet to stream movies. Because now you can watch Netflix on pretty much everything, unless you want HD, but we will get to that.
Cuties
"Cuties" is a pedo movie exclusively on Netflix to unite it's general audience of sick fucks. More can be found above.
Netflix and Chill
Has its own article, click the logo to Netflix and chill.
Netflix originals
Orange is the New Black: A shitty drama focused around some dumb fucking rug munchers in prison, the prime audience for this shitshow is retarded 15 yearold girls who wear "normal people scare me" shirts and nigdykes.
Thirteen Reasons Why: Another shitty show, this time about some fag who offed herself because she got trolled at school. Fortunately this sparked massive lulz as the tumblrfags who usually eat this shit up got triggered because it was "too graphic". Again, only fake depressed 15 year olds watch this shit.
Bojack Horseman: ANOTHER shitty show (noticing a pattern here?) about some depressed retard furfag which is somehow hailed as one of the "deepest" comedies ever made. Only furries and angsty 15 year olds lap this shit up.
La Casa de Papel: A spanish series that is EVEN SHITTIER than the above three. This time, a basement dweller called "the professor" recruits spain's dumbest criminals to fulfil his wish of biggest heist in history. This series serves as an example why women should never leave the kitchen, as it doesn't matter whether they are criminals (tokio) or cops (raquel), they always fuck up everything and men die because of them.
Enjoy that 720p content
Do you like video in High Definition? Then Netflix is not for you, because unless you install Internet Explorer or its less retarded, but still retarded brother Edge, you will not able stream 1080p. Oh and enjoy the security flaw known as Silverlight as well.
Note that no other major distributor has this issue.
Netflix even admits they are incompetent
To lower the price of Netflix start torrenting
To punish countries that don't download as much illegal shit as others, Netflix increased the price while lowering it for countries where torrenting is prevalent.
—https://torrentfreak.com/netflix-sets-pricing-based-on-local-piracy-rates-150416/, David Wells - Chief Financial Officer | ||
Prices around the world
| Country | Price for standard in USD* | Available Titles** | Titles Per USD |
|---|---|---|---|
| United States | $8.99 | 5879 | 654 |
| United Kingdom | $8.28 | 5673 | 685 |
| Eastern Europe | $10.00 | 5077 | 85 |
| Sweden | $10.43 | 3579 | 343 |
| Canada | $8.11 | 5730 | 707 |
| Brazil | $4.13 | 4208 | 1018 |
|
*Prices from here **Available titles from this page |
Better alternatives
- ThePirateBay - Free and supports all resolutions.
- Kodi.tv - Free
- Popcorn Time - Free
- HBO - Cheaper and supports resolutions of at least 1080p on all browsers
- Amazon Prime - supports resolutions of at least 1080p on all browsers
- Hulu - Cheaper and supports all browsers.
Best Alternative
- ED Movie Night - Only shows good movies.
Gallery
Related Articles
- Netflix and chill
- Streaming Video Content
- Hulu
- Stranger Things - One of their terrible original series.
External links
- Netflix
- Netflix throttling conspiracy site that makes the Time Cube look reasonable.
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Netflix is part of a series on Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage. |