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Joel "Inciter" Ivory: Difference between revisions
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Latest revision as of 02:59, 1 November 2011
Joel Ivory, AKA Elnaria, Xeravyn, Colineth and/or Incit3r is a 21 - year - old SCAdian Australian with a severe case of unwarranted self importance. Joining the SCA in order to one day become a dragon, Joel soon found that the life of the fighter was not for him.
Next up for Joel was scoring hot women, since according to popular myth SCA also stands for "Society for Consenting Adults. In order to score, Joel went and picked the easiest target; said target being an antisocial young lesbian in a relationship with Yirimyah.
Annoyed at his complete failure to have sex with said lesbian, Joel proceeded to try to ruin Yirimyah. This did not go so well. Joel proceeded to not turn up to SCA events, citing fear of counter-ruin.
As Incit3r, Joel then attacked an anon comment lj post, informing the users that they had been "shelved by Lord Xeravyn the Incit3r." OH BURN. This was posted anonymously, so was rapidly followed up by a DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS and some George Zimmer. Upon doxing the newcomer, Yirimyah found that Incit3r was Joel: an IRL faggot in addition to an online one. TL;DR version: Dox dropped, lulz had, Incit3r pwned.
George Zimmmer'd
HI, I'M INCIT3R, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE YOUNG BOY'S SEX CLUB. LAST WEEK I WOKE UP TO FIND A LUSCIOUS LABILE LAD STRADDLING MY MAGNIFICENT MEGA-ORGAN. MERELY SEEING THE YOUTH UPON MY DECA-DIMENSIONAL DESTROYER-DONG FORCED ME TO TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION. TEARING HIS FINE SUIT FROM HIS SLIM SEXY LIMBS, I PROCEEDED TO BURY MY BUTT-DESTROYER DEEP WITHIN HIS BOWEL. HIS SCREAMS FOR MERCY WENT UNHEARD UNTILL I RAPACIOUSLY RUPTURED HIS COLON WITH GALLONS OF MAN-PAINT. FURTHERMORE, I PROCEEDED TO RAPE ALL OF HIS FAMILY UNTILL THEY BROKE IN TWO, UNABLE TO ACCOMODATE MY ELEPHANTINE GOD-COCK. I'M INCIT3R, AND YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE HOW THEY LOOKED. I GUARANTEE IT.
Poetry
Beautiful; Hot; Attractive; Cute
By all these labels have I been known
But nobody sees; no, not a one of you see
That I weep because I'm so alone
I am always complimented and admired wherever I go
From catcalls to poems epic; And in these things I *do* take pride
For my beauty is - humbly - without compare; assuredly a worthwhile prize
But in the end, to me this means naught, for on its own it is a superficial lie
For all these reflect is mens' shallow desire and naked greed
And from the other women? Worse; they reek of jealousy
For I've a slim waist, perfect face, and a rear stared at gratuitously
PLEASE NOTE: JOEL HEREIN ADMITS THAT HE WISHES HE WAS FEMALE
It Was A Lie That You Loved Me oh snap, deleted. link in thumbnail
Testimonial from other users:
Nymph: God I fucking hate Joel. he's the one who started making moves on my girlfriend.
Nymph: Are we talking about the same Joel here?
Nymph: Faggot homeless queenslander jumps in, starts passing judgement on everyone
and anyone and makes passes at girlfriends of scadians with no success.
Nymph: About six-one, 200 pounds, face that looks like a westie
only with more teeth, blond hair, a tortured soul with a tragic past, indistinguishable
from a 16 year old boy if only for the inescapable fact that he is a 21 year old boy.
Nymph: Pleasures in life include turning up to SCA meetings for no fucking reason, being
homeless and having life-changing epiphanies in close
proximity to hot girls.
<yiri> yeah
Nymph: The significance and weight of these epiphanies directly proportional to the
significance and weight of his 2" erection.
<yiri> that's the one
Nymph: That closet-emo, self-pitying, useless, attempted-girlfriend-thief,
tortured-soul-only-with-less-eloquence, self-important, judgemental little prick has about
enough intelligence to cover only half a fly's cognitive function.
Nymph: But with enough raw bullshit to fill an entire government. Or an emo band.
<yiri> i am adding this to the article y/n
Nymph: y.
Nymph: I mean for the love of all that's good and holy would he stop intruding his fucking
obnoxious beak, which in size and taste looks much more like a pelican's bill or the gaping
fucking caldera of Mt Doom into shit that just isn't his business yet?
Nymph: He's known us all for about a month and suddenly in his 21 year old wisdom he's decided
that he's got us all figured out.
<yiri> str8
Nymph: His only authority on the point is that members of his family became an hero and thus
aged him to the point where he's the manifest love-child of Socrates and Freud.
Nymph: I think he and I would be ok friends, or at least acquaintances, if he a) would stop
blatantly trying to get my girlfriend to fuck him and b) actually bothered to do me the great
honour of being acquainted with His Holiness the Dalai Emo.
Departure from civilization
Joel, having consistently failed to score hot women and, by contrast, succeeded in causing everyone who ever even heard him speak to think he's a faggot and urge him to take a long walk off a short cliff, decided it would be best to move back to Brisbane.
To this, we can all say good riddance to your unwarranted self-importance and we wish you the best of luck in finally getting laid, although we hope that you don't pollute the gene pool in the process.
External Links
- http://myspace.com/xeravyn_inciter
- http://bebo.com/xeravyn
http://facebook.com/s.php?q=Xeravyndeleted- http://bux.to/?r=elnaria
http://elnaria.inciter.googlepages.comdeleted
