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Typical reaction to watching Family Guy.

Imagine an animated show that airs on FOX on sunday nights with a retarded, gluttonous, yet lovable father, a long-suffering, yet sexy housewife with an annoying voice, a smart daughter that everyone hates, a stupid son that is just a younger version of his dad, and a smart baby. Sound familiar?

Family Guy is the worst and most overrated show in existence. The entire series depends on the flashbacks of characters to exhibit humor upon the plot of an average family's life in Quahog, Rhode Island. The show is popular amongst developmentally disabled bottom feeders who repeat the lame one-liners in very obnoxious "funny" voices.

Characters

Family Guy bingo, where everyone's a winner!

The Griffins

Secondary characters

  • Glen Quagmire
    • Originally: 'hilarious' pervert who gets boring quickly
    • Now: Unfunny rapist
  • Cleveland Brown
    • Originally: Token black character, the most boring of Peter's clique
    • Now: Somehow managed to escape the show to star in his own spin-off
  • Joe Swanson
    • Originally: Self-sufficient, crippled cop who's a total hard ass
    • Now: Helpless cripple and the butt of all jokes not directed at Meg. Also has uncontrollable fits of rage. Which are still unfunny.
  • Herbert
    • Originally: A one-episode character of no importance
    • Now: Easy go-to when a writer wants to pad out the episode with cheap pedophile jokes.
  • Bruce
    • Originally: Some random guy with a mustache and that calm voice.
    • Now: Gay faggot with that unfunny catchphrase "Oh no!" that is used by 13 year old fanboys of the show over and over again in a desperate attempt to be funny.

Criticisms

"...like that time we made a 34."

It should be noted that, while Simpsons fans accuse Family Guy of unoriginality (in which they are absolutely right), The Simpsons itself has merely employed the same formulaic cartoon-like jokes as shown in hundreds of animated series, but with utter disregard for any facet of popular or modern culture (which is why The Simpsons remains popular with nerds and virgin Slashdot fanboys who have no relation with the outside world, although it can't touch Family Guy in that regard).

This awful show has no continuity at all. In an episode of South Park Matt Stone and Trey Parker attempt to "reveal" how exactly all the retarded, unfunny flashbacks were created: manatees and balls. Of course this was already apparent to anyone with an IQ over 85 but it took South Park to point this out to South Park fans and this was accepted as gospel.

Family Guy fans, of course, were filled with disbelief. This led to them being silent for an entire minute as they digested this fact, in what has come to be known as, "the greatest minute ever spent with Family Guy fans, ever".

Openly pedophiliac creator Seth MacFarlane has also come under criticism for pushing his politics on the show and other faggotry like his love of adding pointless musical numbers to inflict his 'singing', which only he considers special. Like the dog on the show, Seth MacFarlane is a liberal with a gay cousin. The dog went from an unfunny background character to having entire episodes built around him being a pretentious asshole and banging hot chicks. Which means MacFarlane is living out his fantasies through a fucking animal and is goddamn furry queer.

Family Guy may as well be created by Eric Bauman by padding all of its new content with stolen memes from the Internets so newfags can giggle and ask their middle school friends if they saw that episode over AIM.

Writing

The secret to writing a good Family Guy episode is this simple formula.

  • Step 1: Start every joke with "You think THAT'S bad, remember the time I..."
  • Step 2: Mix two pop culture references that were popular before 1990 "...hung out with Michael J. Fox in the Mushroom Kingdom?"
  • Step 3: Your punchline should involve a sex joke or an attack on Bush that was rejected from The Daily Show.
    • Michael J. Fox: Oh, hi Peter! Is it just me or are these shrooms making you shake?
    • Peter Griffin: I think you have Parkinsons.
    • Michael J. Fox: Phew, I thought we contracted AIDS.
    • Peter Griffin (Grabs Fox): NO ONE MUST EVER KNOW!!!
  • Step 4: Fill up remaining 15 minutes with an entire shitty 80s music video

The Fucking Chicken

In the show's great tradition of jokes that go for way, way, way too long, in an early episode there was a several-minute-long extremely unfunny scene where Peter fought a man in a chicken suit. For some reason Seth thought people liked this "joke" and so he bought it back several times and it is now about 40% of the show's content. It is so popular, in fact, that it has an entire DVD commited only to showcasing the battles. Don't believe me?

Fandom

The fandom consists of autistic 13 year old boys, Chris-chan, and stoned college kids who chant quotes from the show like mantras. Some of them will excuse the fact that the show is 80 percent fart jokes by prattling on about post-modernism. It was once thought that any fan of Family Guy was probably also a fantard of Dane Cook, another unfunny retard. Like Cook fans, Family Guy fans tend to be loud, obnoxious, and pretentious due to them emulating the material. This myth was busted in a recent episode, where it makes fun of Dane Cook and his followers.

Ironically, you are guaranteed to get laid by fat chicks who never get laid, if you act like you're a Family Guy fan on any college campus. Being (or even pretending to be) a fan will negate any antisocial traits you may exhibit from being an anime fan.

If one were to insult Family Guy to a fan, said fan would likely rant on how much you "have no sense of humor" and will continue on for hours about how much "you suck", while telling you that "you should like Family Guy because it is your type of humor." However, anyone that actually has a sense of humor doesn't find anything funny in such utter faggotry. People who like Family Guy should do the world a favor and become an hero.

Alternate Universe

When Family Guy was canceled for the 9,0001st time, creator Seth MacFarlane decided to recast the show and call it American Dad. The reincarnation is exactly the same show, only instead of an evil baby and a talking dog there's an evil talking fish and a faggot alien. The Faggot alien and both Family Guy and American Dad are an expression of Seth MacFarlane penchant for weird gender bending fetishes. The alien's obsession for wigs and make-up are an expression of Seth's ghey hair and make-up fetishes.

American Dad is one tiny iota better than Family Guy because it lacks remember when... flashback jokes.

But wait, there's MORE! Soon to replace King of the Hill is another Family Guy spinoff starring the show's token nigra character, Cleveland!

Just who is MacFarlane blowing to keep getting these shows greenlit?

Family Guy: The Game

The Family Guy fanbase cried, whined and went into their hugboxes until their demands of a Family Guy video game were met. Suddenly, one day.. It came to life. Featuring lame one liners from old episodes you've seen a million times, broken stealth missions, nonsensical brawling stages, and platform levels with shitty cameras. Let's not forget all your favorite characters!


Deemed unworthy of even a landfill.


Jewtube

Seth Macfarlane was infuriated when he realized that most of Family Guy's fan base was just watching all of his shows on Youtube and decided to call bullshit and posted all of his videos on Hulu.com which will not allow anybody who isn't an American to watch any of their videos

Very few videos remain on Youtube except ones supporting Hulu.com showing clips of the baby acting like a twelve year old Pete Burns. Of the few remaining videos these fake videos remain. Some claim that they are actually better than Seth Macfarlane's product, and others claim that this was all some gay creation by a 13-year-old boy (coincidence?).




Upon realizing the potential of this "youtube". Seth's Jew kicked in, as he decided to bring his fail to youtube under the name "Sethcomedy", in an attempt to bring in even more money to himself with his so called "sense of humor". On this channel, he makes comedy skits, in which some argue are hilarious. Of course, anyone with a fucking brain knows that these comedy skits are as unfunny as Family Guy and American Dad combined. Don't believe anything could fail that much? Watch for yourself.


Well said Nostalgia Critic, well said.

Gallery

  • The result of watching Family Guy. Even the cast isn't safe from its effects.
    The result of watching Family Guy. Even the cast isn't safe from its effects.
  • Actual scene from the show. Rumors have it Seth MacFarlane is a pedophile that is also into bestiality.
    Actual scene from the show. Rumors have it Seth MacFarlane is a pedophile that is also into bestiality.
  • Family Guy's pathetic attempt to be edgy.
    Family Guy's pathetic attempt to be edgy.
  • A young Glen Quagmire.
    A young Glen Quagmire.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • An older Glen Quagmire IRL.
    An older Glen Quagmire IRL.
  • Stewie is a sex symbol among 12 year olds, which is understandable as that is the target demographic of the show.
    Stewie is a sex symbol among 12 year olds, which is understandable as that is the target demographic of the show.
  • The perfect gift for your kids!
    The perfect gift for your kids!
  • Lois IRL
    Lois IRL
  • His chin looks like balls.
    His chin looks like balls.
  • He's watching you masturbate.
    He's watching you masturbate.
  • Family Guy, like furries, ruins everything.
    Family Guy, like furries, ruins everything.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

External Links

Family Guy is part of a series on

Television

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