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Revision as of 22:34, 23 November 2011

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"It starts".
The handsome comrade that did the deed. Current whereabouts unknown, presumed to be anally violated by Siberian bears in a labor camp.
Many Russian traditions are as old as Russia itself.

Another entry in the long and respected tradition of Internet shock videos, this one was a recording from a Russian security cam, which, before it was stolen, had managed to capture footage showing a 15 year old girl being attacked and mugged just outside an elevator, as well as everything that happened after the mugger decided to jump on her head for several minutes.

The video was, in fact, released online over 9000 hours ago, but since it was made in Russia, where the dialup Internets regularly freeze or are eaten by bears and werewolves, it took a while for it to leak to the non-Russian world - and when it did, it was mostly mentioned on self-defense forums, where it would often get posted with sympathetic thread titles such as: "What Not To Fucking Do When A Junkie Is Quickly Approaching You From Behind In Small Dark Spaces: Pretend That Everything Is Fine And Look The Other Way". There, many self-proclaimed self defense gurus would tut-tut over it and give advice on what to do in such situations ("(1) Become invisible; (2) Faint quickly to avoid pain."), while martial artists would describe in details the levers, choke holds, grapples and shoulder throws which they would use to disable the mugger quickly and successfully, especially if they were tiny 15-year old girls rather than fit 30-year old men.

For some time afterwards, trolls tried to use the video to shock effect, but since in those ancient times they did not possess the technology with which to convert the video, and there was no Youtube, it soon faded into obscurity outside Russia.

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