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[[File:Cancer_ribbons.gif|thumb|So many colors...]]
[[Image:Pissedoffcarcrumb2.JPG|thumb|[[Pixelbee]], living proof that the doughnut is a carcinogen.]]
[[Image:Pissedoffcarcrumb2.JPG|thumb|[[Pixelbee]], living proof that the doughnut is a carcinogen.]]
[[Image:Zigfakecancer.jpg|thumb|I CAN HAS CANCER!!]][[Image:HWBCC.jpg|thumb|win]]
[[Image:Zigfakecancer.jpg|thumb|I CAN HAS CANCER!!]][[Image:HWBCC.jpg|thumb|win]]
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Cancer is the troll of all diseases. [[Cancer]] also is a form of physiological [[retard]]ation. After a human being does something [[stupid]] like [[Smoking|smoke cigarettes]] or eat paint chips, little biological things in their body called '''cells''' start to act all freaky. Whereas the body is usually able to recognize old and decrepit cells and euthanize them properly, a cancer patient is like a nearsighted kid that can't see the difference between Jessica Alba and a [[Britney Spears|pig with lipstick]], resulting in a situation where [[ugly]] and [[Damaged Goods|damage]]d cells that need to die simply don't get [[killed]] off. Instead, these gimpy cells reproduce by splitting into new retard baby cells, endlessly [[raid|flooding]] a [[tits|random]] [[cock|body]] [[anus|part]]. Once the body notices that a body part has been taken over by the cancer, it wisely attempts to remove itself from the gene pool. This was also seen in [[American]] society, the instant ''[[American Idol]]'' was introduced to [[TV]]. Thought and [[intelligence]] were suddenly flooded, [[raped]], and thrown down into the dirt by all the retards that [[MTV]] usually maintains fairly well. Soon society will collapse when unable to decide who can do the best cover of a song from the Lion king.
Cancer is a message from [[God]] to tell you that you're fucked. The troll of all diseases. [[Cancer]] also is a form of physiological [[retard]]ation. After a human being does something [[stupid]] like [[Smoking|smoke cigarettes]] or eat paint chips, little biological things in their body called '''cells''' start to act all freaky. Whereas the body is usually able to recognize old and decrepit cells and euthanize them properly, a cancer patient is like a nearsighted kid that can't see the difference between Jessica Alba and a [[Britney Spears|pig with lipstick]], resulting in a situation where [[ugly]] and [[Damaged Goods|damage]]d cells that need to die simply don't get [[killed]] off. Instead, these gimpy cells reproduce by splitting into new retard baby cells, endlessly [[raid|flooding]] a [[tits|random]] [[cock|body]] [[anus|part]]. Once the body notices that a body part has been taken over by the cancer, it wisely attempts to remove itself from the gene pool. This was also seen in [[American]] society, the instant ''[[American Idol]]'' was introduced to [[TV]]. Thought and [[intelligence]] were suddenly flooded, [[raped]], and thrown down into the dirt by all the retards that [[MTV]] usually maintains fairly well. Soon society will collapse when unable to decide who can do the best cover of a song from the Lion king.


[[Your mom]] probably has cancer. This makes her [[BAWWWWW|whine]] and have [[ADHD|hyperactive fits]] making her think she's going to [[die]]. This causes [[you]] some [[butthurt]], most likely.
[[Your mom]] probably has cancer. This makes her [[BAWWWWW|whine]] and have [[ADHD|hyperactive fits]] making her think she's going to [[die]]. This causes [[you]] some [[butthurt]], most likely.

Revision as of 09:52, 19 July 2012

So many colors...
Pixelbee, living proof that the doughnut is a carcinogen.
I CAN HAS CANCER!!
win


Cancer is a message from God to tell you that you're fucked. The troll of all diseases. Cancer also is a form of physiological retardation. After a human being does something stupid like smoke cigarettes or eat paint chips, little biological things in their body called cells start to act all freaky. Whereas the body is usually able to recognize old and decrepit cells and euthanize them properly, a cancer patient is like a nearsighted kid that can't see the difference between Jessica Alba and a pig with lipstick, resulting in a situation where ugly and damaged cells that need to die simply don't get killed off. Instead, these gimpy cells reproduce by splitting into new retard baby cells, endlessly flooding a random body part. Once the body notices that a body part has been taken over by the cancer, it wisely attempts to remove itself from the gene pool. This was also seen in American society, the instant American Idol was introduced to TV. Thought and intelligence were suddenly flooded, raped, and thrown down into the dirt by all the retards that MTV usually maintains fairly well. Soon society will collapse when unable to decide who can do the best cover of a song from the Lion king.

Your mom probably has cancer. This makes her whine and have hyperactive fits making her think she's going to die. This causes you some butthurt, most likely.

Causes of Cancer

Online games such as Roblox is now developing Cancer.

Bruce Mcculloh is one of many sources of cancer, this one being created by teh evil Canadians.

What Can I Do To Fight Cancer?

Stay inside makes you not get cancer.

Donate to Encyclopedia Dramatica to further our extensive cancer research and help save lives. You can also rid non-4chan related articles of memes to improve the quality and fight the chanfag cancer that has been eating away at ED for years. And you can also encourage everyone to not talk to, or try to be friends with cancer patients so they will all die and not pass on their disgusting cancerous genes.

  1. Go to /b/.
  2. Post original content that is funny, not overused, forced, has no faggotry, and unfunny memes.
  3. For every shit thread you see, make two that are lulz-worthy.

Suppression of cancer cure by /b/

For at least 50 years, the cure for all cancers, has been suppressed. This has not been the product of a conspiracy between doctors, huge pharmaceutical companies, the US government and the Jews, but in fact has been solely carried out by /b/. Due to the fact that they are making hundreds of billions of dollars every year from treatments, and cancer drugs. At least 15 people who have claimed to have cured cancer, and 12 of them who have proven that they have, have all died under mysterious circumstances. One claimed that he was driven off the road, shot at, poisoned, had their houses arsoned, and was eventually killed by assassins employed by moot. Greed is the cause of all the problems in this world.

The tinfoil companies may be in on it too, since it takes so much to make a good hat to block the rays.

The cure is and always has been large quantities of Δ9-THC. You can keep that a secret though, cancer is a good solution to overpopulation.

Types Of Cancer

A more detailed explanation of breast cancer.
  • Lung Cancer: This form of cancer rids the world of those macho smoker assholes who try to look cool in front of ugly girls.
  • Brain Cancer: This cancer turns you into a drooling retard idiot, like Gothreaper.
  • Melanoma: How karma pays back white privilege.
  • Jewkemia: This is the worst cancer ever. It is caused by the dreaded Sheeny Curse, an ancient curse that Jews use to kill people and steal their money.
  • /b/ Cancer: Self-explanatory.
  • Bitch Cancer
  • Breast cancer: The only way to cure the bitches who won't make your fucking sandwiches.
  • Cancer of which should not be named.
  • Fake Brony Cancer.
  • Nigger cancer : The cancer only the baboons could give this world.
  • Bruce The Faggot Camwhore
  • iCancer from Apple - launched by Steve Jobs just after a keynote in 2011.

See Also

Links

[Click to CollapseClick to Expand]
Cancer is part of a series on Body and Health
Body Parts:

Ass • Asshole • Balls • Bodybuilding • Boobs • Brain • Cameltoe • Clitoris • Cock • Cum • Fat • Finger Box • Gunt • Hand of Clod • Hand of Dios • Iron penis • Mangina • Moobs • Neckbeard • Piss • Pussy • Shit • Skeleton • Vagoo

Diseases and Illnesses:

Acne • Addiction • AIDS • Alzheimer's • Being a Ginger • Cancer (and The Cancer That Is Killing /b/) • Comcast disease • COVID-19 • Diabeetus • Disease • DSM • Duckface • Dwarfism • Ebola • Epilepsy • Erectile dysfunction • ETD • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome • Fibromyalgia • Genital Herpes • GOTIS • GRIDS (see also The GRIDS that is killing ED) • Heart Attack • Hyperbolimia • IRC Disease • Monkeypox • Obesity • Pandemic • Parkinson's Disease • Same Face Syndrome • SARS • Sexually Transmitted Diseases • Swine Flu • Thin Skin • User Stress Syndrome • Virus • Vomiting • Wikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Injuries:

1guy1jar • BME • Circumcision • Castration • Death • Emo Cutter Girl • Eunuch Archive • Guro • Hangover • Headshot • LJ cut • Lobotomy • Pain Series • Pregnancy • Rectal foreign body • Self-injury • Suicide • Tattoos • Trepanation

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