MDK: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 17:09, 14 March 2016

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OMG MDK2 GETS A HI-DEF VERSION SOMETIME IN 2011!

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT YOU BEAT THE GAME AND THEN "Non, non, rien n'a changé" AND THEN MUSIC VIDEO!!!1

MDK is probably the most surreal third/first person-shooter series to ever exist. There are two games in the series, MDK (1997) and MDK2 (2000) - with a HD version of the sequel in 2011. The first game is more like an absurd sci-fi movie and the sequel has very "I'm so random"-type humor.

What the fuck does MDK stand for?

(Feel free to add your own!)

Storyline

MDK: Tagline: On a good day, only 2.5 million people will die. HOLY SHIT THE EARTH IS BEING ATTACKED BY ALIEN TANKS! Kurt has to save it. Before we can tell you that story, we have to tell you this story. The game's instruction book is styled in the journal of Dr. Hawkins, who mentions discovering "Flange Orbits." When he tells the rest of the scientific community, they're like "LOL OH WOW you're a faggot!" so he essentially exiles himself out of shame. The world got attacked by some gross aliens and he tried to warn Earth (and also sent down oranges) but nobody cared. So then Kurt had to like destroy the minecrawler tanks that the aliens were using to destroy Earth, and he assassinated Gunter Glut, the aliens' leader.

MDK 2: Armageddon: HOLY SHIT CANADA IS BEING ATTACKED BY A REMAINING ALIEN TANK! For some reason, Max, Dr. Hawkins, and Kurt actually give a shit and go to stop it even though most people wouldn't really bother saving Edmonton from aliens. But even after each of the three douchebags try to attempt any progress in their mission, they keep getting kidnapped by the aliens, requiring each one to save each other. They find out the attacks were really by some guy called Emperor Zizzy Ballooba who literally says he attacked Earth for the lulz. After the Emperor is blown the fuck up, Max takes his throne, Kurt resumes cleaning toilets, and Dr. Hawkins returns to Earth, still a madman.

Characters

Kurt Hectic: Some janitor who wants to live a normal, everyday life being a janitor. He was bribed with goulash (no seriously) to be the doctor's test subject for some pointy-looking goth sniper-suit, since Max couldn't wear it since he was a dog, and the doctor was too old to put it on. He saved Laguna Beach from aliens. He doesn't want to be a celebrity and actually doesn't have any unwarranted self-importance at all so we should all be more like Kurt. *HINT, HINT.*

Max: Originally called "Bones" but he prefers "Max" because it doesn't sound as stupid. Max is a dog that has six legs. The first two pairs act as "arms" and he can shoot guns. He smokes and he drinks because he doesn't give a fuck. However any amount of coolness he has is stripped away because he is a furfag. He is captured by the final boss, Glut, in the first game, but Kurt saves him... and then suddenly Billy Ze Kick. The original Deal with it dog.

Dr. Hawkins: A scientist who exiled himself because he wanted to make dumb shit in outer space aboard the Jim Dandy. He fights using radioactive toast. Really. Also when he helps save Earth, people welcome him back only to find out that yes, he is a crazy old man and you should avoid him.

THE SOUNDTRACK (WHICH IS FUCKING AWESOME)

Holy shit, the soundtrack for these games are the coolest things ever, and if you don't agree then you're a fucking faggot or deaf. Raymond Watts of the band PIG did a track on MDK2 so you know it's great. If you say otherwise then fucking huff rocket fuel you bitch. In fact that's why this article is made.

Fuck yeah.

This owns.

Seriously, this stuff is great.

MDK1 music.

Cool.

Previous Video | Next Video

Fans

MDK's fandase is actually pretty reserved but seeing as Max is a dog then you know some furries are gonna be up all in that shit.

Non Non Rien N'a Changé and Trolling

As mentioned before, the ending to MDK pissed off (and simultaneously amused) gamers because who the fuck would expect random French stoner pop? Some whined that "THIS ISN'T THE RIGHT ENDING IT'S NOT CANON ARGHGHHAHABLBLE" while ripping out tiny hairs from their neckbeards, not realizing they're bitching about the ending to a game where there is a six-legged dog smoking cigars.

	“	Ending is classic, but i hated it. This is the game where i wanted an EPIC ending! Epic ending for an epic game. No fucking way...	„
	—T0mFrame got trolled by Shiny.

	“	i was so sad when i ended this game, it was the best game i ever enjoyed. So original, and great ending, with this european singer. Oh great memories...	„
	—Camilo21986 on YouTube, what the hell?

	“	Is anyone reminded of the ending of the Band Geeks episode of Spongebob?	„
	—andStack on YouTube;

	“	I'm not sure what gender that person singing is, but I'd hit it either way.	„
	—GeneralFatman27 - don't worry, Nathalie Cousin is female!

	“	wowowowowowowowo in 2.00 its says mexican while singin	„
	—mexicanboy69 - no it doesn't, what?

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Steam users can't see this ending because the retards there distributed it as a Direct3D version, which means it's suitable for computers from like 1997 but sure as hell not today.

	“	"I just bought MDK from the 'steam' gaming community network and the game runs so poorly that it's all but unplayable, how can a 12 year old game be re released incompatible with current machines. Has anyone had the same drama and if so found a solution?	„
	—Xyrophile, lol Direct3D

After all...

	“	As a result of wiping out the aliens the world became french... We lost.	„
	—Garlannd on YouTube;

2011 HD Remakes, and Reactions

In mid-2010, MDK2 was announced to be having a HD remake for 2011. It will be for the Wii and the PC. Fans were surprised that HOLY SHIT PC GAMING IS ACTUALLY REGARDED!

Naturally, retards who are all nostalgic with fucking everything came out at full force. More fans whined about no PSN/XBLA as well. Look at this idiot:

	“	Give discounts to those of us who still have our MDK 1 and 2 CDs.	„
	—willyyum from 1up.com, on being incredibly, incredibly unrealistic;

He's probably going to torrent it anyway.

Fan Art

The series doesn't have a lot of fan art compared to, say, Final Fantasy - but if there's fan art, there's faggotry:

Aliens, aliens everywhere!
NO! HOW DARE YOU MIX GOOD WITH SHIT!
iPod faggotry.
Pro Photoshop, bro.