Custer's Revenge

The Game

This is what they tell you the game looks like.

What the game really looks like.

What you wish it looked like.

Sonichu Beta

Custer's Revenge is a notorious pr0n game from 1982 for the Atari 2600 that helped sink the console along with E.T. and a shitty version of Pac-Man. The object of the game is that, apparently, you are a naked General Custer back from teh dead... because there is no secks in hell. Basically,the game is about a Lego brick man who is getting arrows shot at him by the "revenge" Lego bitch's thousand husbands when you've finished the game there is a cutscene where the Lego bitch has a thousand babies and then the babies start humping each other, irrespective of gender. When you score enough man points, you become sheriff. Whether you become a naked sheriff who gets to rape the chief is anybody's guess, but unfortunately the technology wasn't there to even show a decent dick or boobs. Even sick fucks who sit around all day watching hentai wouldn't find this POS erotic, and anyone who plays it nowadays only does so for the lulz.

The Story

Once upon a time, back when there were at least 100 pr0n games for the Atari, a game company called Mystique (not to be confused with "The Feminine Mystique", lulz) decided to make an educational game that would sell more copies than Oregon Trail. And, since all they could make was things like this, a game like Custer's Revenge was considered a step up. Unfortunately, outrage came spurting like pixelated cum from Native American groups, feminists, teachers, Christians, and probably your mom because of the rape thing with the Injun chick. Most of the outrage, though, came from people who actually bought it expecting some decent fapping material. Moar lulz. Why anyone would think this game was erotic (though it's pretty lulzy) is anybody's guess, but because of this game and tons of others Mystique is no moar and the game is only accessible to collectors who are willing to pay hundreds on eBay for a copy, along with a dusty Atari 2600 and a really old T.V. to play it on.

Quotes from Reviews

“   After a while, it gets boring. All you do is bang the chick, dodge the spears. Bang the chick, dodge the spears.   „     —Angry Video Game Nerd     “   I know what you're saying: finally, I can use our country's bloodiest military disaster as foreplay!   „     —Seanbaby     “   Custer's Revenge just might be the most politically incorrect thing I've ever witnessed, and that makes it manly as hell.   „     —Arthur's Hall Previous Quote | Next Quote

See Also

• Red Dead Redemption
• Cowboy
• Confederate States of America

External Links

• Someone made a Wiki article about this?
• Gamespy's Game of the Week
• Cheat codes

Custer's Revenge is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.