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Bulgaria: Difference between revisions
imported>Simon23 |
imported>YolkOnYou Fixed spelling. |
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[[File:Bulgar Wheat.JPG|thumb|Bulgaria's most famous export. Made in Turkey.]] | [[File:Bulgar Wheat.JPG|thumb|Bulgaria's most famous export. Made in Turkey.]] | ||
It's nearly impossible to find anything that isn't depressing to say about '''Bulgaria'''. However, according to www.bulgariatravel.org "A [[shit|picturesque small]] country called Bulgaria has existed for more than 13 centuries in Europe, linking East and West. Bulgaria remembers ancient | It's nearly impossible to find anything that isn't depressing to say about '''Bulgaria'''. However, according to www.bulgariatravel.org "A [[shit|picturesque small]] country called Bulgaria has existed for more than 13 centuries in Europe, linking East and West. Bulgaria remembers ancient civilizations and great people that [[pwn|wrote its turbulent history]]. Situated in Southeastern Europe, Bulgaria occupies the northeastern part of the Balkan Peninsula." | ||
Revision as of 05:11, 22 July 2014
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Add pixplzkthnx to Bulgaria Plz to be adding some pix now kthnx. Consult the image selection process for help, or just google up some pix.Plz remove this notice once there are plenty of pix. |
It's nearly impossible to find anything that isn't depressing to say about Bulgaria. However, according to www.bulgariatravel.org "A picturesque small country called Bulgaria has existed for more than 13 centuries in Europe, linking East and West. Bulgaria remembers ancient civilizations and great people that wrote its turbulent history. Situated in Southeastern Europe, Bulgaria occupies the northeastern part of the Balkan Peninsula."
The depressingly supine history of Bulgaria
- Pre-45AD
Living peacefully north of black sea as Great Bulgaria, having tea and shit until the big spit up.
- 45-632AD
The Romans conquer the thracian ppl enslaving 300,000 citizens. No further resistance until the fall of the Roman Empire.
- 632-1014AD
The only real time Bulgaria exists as a country.Joined forces with the slavic tribes they produce a huge amount of hit points. Call it Bulgaria's manic phase. In 718AD they kill 22,000+ Arabs. In 917AD they kill ten of thousands of Greeks.
- 1014-1396AD
The Empire strikes back. Byzantine Emperor Basil II ("the Bulgar-Slayer") blinds 15,000 Bulgarian prisoners taken in battle before releasing them. No resistance or any uprising of the Bulgarian population or nobility after the establishment of Byzantine rule.
- 1396-1876AD
Muslims beat Christians in Bulgaria. The losing side, thought to number several thousand, are bound together and marched naked before the Sultan where a group of executioners proceeds to kill them, either by decapitation or by severing their limbs from the body. No resistance to Ottoman rule for five centuries.
- 1876-1878AD
The Turks massacre 15,000 bulgarians yet again.Russia sees the chance to help Bulgaria out and make it her eternal bitch.Russia invades Bulgaria and ends the Ottoman rule.
- 1914-1918AD
During World War I, Bulgaria finds itself fighting on the losing(german) side. The Bulgarian army suffers 300,000 casualties, including 100,000 killed, whiles being the most productive.
- 1940-1945AD
After decades of ass-rapeing battles Bulgaria sides with the Nazis .But liez and starts nuking nazi military shipments secretly. In early September the Soviet Union declares war on Bulgaria and invades it, meeting no resistance.
- 1945-1989AD
Communist, owned by Russia. No resistance. The "grovellingly obsequious" dictator Zhivkov went so far as to offer his country's full formal annexation by the Soviet Union several times.[1] Russians repeatedly said no because they weren't willing to dirty up their gene pool.
- 1957AD
Development of Golden Sands and Sunny Beach resorts begin. No resistance.
- 1989AD-2010AD
Bulgaria holds multi-party elections and privatizes its economy, but economic difficulties and a tide of corruption leads over 800,000 Bulgarians, most of them qualified professionals, to emigrate in a "brain drain" from a country with not a great deal of brains to spare. All types of mafia takes over. No resistance.
- 2010AD-present
Bulgaria is enslaved by the police and the government. No resistance.
Depressing Bulgarian rankings
- 39th most popular holiday destination
- 26th largest zinc producer
- 97th biggest oil producer
Depressing Bulgarian facts
- The average GDP is one third of that of Belgium.
- There are 150,000 tractors and 10,000 combine harvesters.
- Bulgaria does not have an embassy in Iceland.
- Bulgaria has 500 soldiers serving in Afghanistan.
- The northwestern part of Bulgaria, called Romania, is now officially the poorest in the EU.
- In Bulgaria you can sleep with every girl you want if you have a BMW or 17 dollars
Skinheads attacking a mosque
Depressing famous Bulgarians
An examination of the "List Of Famous Bulgarians" at Wikipedia[2] shows that there are no famous Bulgarians.
Examples include;
1) Sport. Georgi Georgiev - 2 World Titles for Sambo (2003, 2006).
2) Hristo Stoichkov
3) Veselin Topalov
4) Valya Balkanska
5) John Vincent Atanasoff
6) Wombles. Great Uncle Bulgaria.
The most famous Bulgarian actress is called Rositsa Chorbadjiyska and there has never been a famous Miss Bulgaria.
Factions
There are various factions you can join - skinheads, commies, da pawliiz or the infamous group of the gypsies. Then you can do random attacks on everyone else, including Jehovah's witnesses.
Here we see fine specimens attacking the 'witnesses'
The Bulgarian language
Just as Esquimos have a large number of words for "snow", according to Google Translate Bulgarians have a large number of words for "depression".
