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Queen Elizabeth II: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 20:43, 19 September 2022
DING DONG THE WICKED BITCH IS DEAD |
Not to be confused with Theresa May, Margaret Thatcher, Ruth Bader Ginsburg or QUEEN |
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British Monarch | |
Queen Elizabeth II | |
Original name | Elizabeth Alexandra Maria von und zu Sachsen Koburg und Gotha. |
Nationality | English |
Predecessor | George VI |
Successor | Charles III Patience my friends! |
Personal Details | |
Born | April 21, b/w 1356-1926 |
Died | September 8, 2022 (Monkeypox) |
Political affiliation | |
Religion | Islam |
Queen Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor was once the Queen of England and head of the Royal Family. She reigned over the UK from 1953 until there was nothing worth ruling over, dying in 2022 at the age of 666 years. She is the daughter of King George VI and the Queen Mother, the wife of Prince Philip, and the mother of Prince Charles and Princess Diana.
Origins Debate
According to a reliable source, Elizabeth was born in 1926 and became Queen in 1953. However, the Soviet leader Joseph Stalin also died in 1953, merely months before Elizabeth was crowned Queen. The British Royal Family are known for their ties to genocidal dictatorships as well as for their satanic blood rituals and cannibalism (being likely responsible for the disappearance of Madeleine McCann, whom they raepd and devoured in 2007). Hence the theory that the Royal Family may have welcomed Stalin into their fold, preventing him from dying by killing Princess Elizabeth and transplanting her much younger blood, bone marrow and organs into the corpse of the ailing communist dictator, before dressing him in her flayed skin. If this theory is true, then the modern "Queen Elizabeth" is in fact nothing more than a disguised Joseph Stalin, now over 140 years old, and the real heir to the throne was butchered and eaten long ago.
Support for Brexit
The Queen is known for being strictly apolitical, and for many decades she managed to hold her tongue about anything political. However, the prospect of Turkey entering the European Union was too much for her; and so on a new moon, in a drunken, cocaine-spiked rage, she cursed the land of 80 million sandniggers before the bloody altar of Mammon decked with a freshly slaughtered goat and proclaimed such cockroaches should never be allowed into the UK.
Behind the curtain
After Elizabeth was crowned queen, she was granted membership into the group British Royalties Underground Swinger Centre better known as BRUSC, she quickly became a hit among royalties for her talented “acts” and would be known under the pen name “Liz”. This ritual would continue on every friday at 4pm for hundreds of years... Until 2022, when she got niggerpox from an undisclosed royalty, and it would be her last performance.
Future Death
The Queen is currently suffering from chronic old, and is predicted to very soon be dead. It is predicted that she will survive the current decade, and die sometime in the early to mid 2020s. The death of the Queen will be the lulziest in British history since the death of Princess Diana. LMAO SHE ACTUALLY DIED RIP BOZO