Nazi: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
imported>TommyP84
No edit summary
imported>Lolyunohavgudsoftware
No edit summary
Line 3: Line 3:
{{corner|bl|[[File:SwastikaRotating.gif]]}}
{{corner|bl|[[File:SwastikaRotating.gif]]}}


[[File:stylin nazis.jpg|thumb|Nazis are known to have [[Butthurt|trolled]] people before and after the Internet was invented.]]
[[Image:stylin nazis.jpg|thumb|Nazis are known to have [[Butthurt|trolled]] people before and after the Internet was invented.]]
[[image:Halt-hammerzeit.jpg‎|thumb|Apparently Nazis were excellent dancers.]]
[[Image:Halt-hammerzeit.jpg‎|thumb|Apparently Nazis were excellent dancers.]]
[[Image:FlagofNaziGermany.png|thumb|It's an ancient pagan symbol for the sun, rebirth, and good luck!]]
[[Image:FlagofNaziGermany.png|thumb|It's an ancient pagan symbol for the sun, rebirth, and good luck!]]
[[image:Ae.gif‎|thumb|æ is a cover up.]]
[[image:Ae.gif‎|thumb|æ is a cover up.]]
[[Image:Lolnazitat.jpg|thumb|[[Lollercaust|:O]]]]
[[Image:Lolnazitat.jpg|thumb|[[Lollercaust|:O]]]]
[[File:Jonas Bros Fanboi.jpg|thumb|One can wonder.]]
[[Image:Jonas Bros Fanboi.jpg|thumb|One can wonder.]]
[[Image:Yockey.jpg|thumb|A Nazi on a good day.]]
[[Image:Yockey.jpg|thumb|A Nazi on a good day.]]


A '''Nazi''', or National Socialist, is a member of the [[TL;DR|Nationalsozialistischen Deutschen Arbeiterpartei]] [[religion]] and a follower of its [[trolling|ideology]]. Nazis came to power in [[Germany]] [[at least 100 years ago]] under the [[win|wise]] leadership of [[Adolf Hitler]]. For teh [[lulz]], they went and took over [[Europe]] and allegedly killed [[Over_9000|over 6,000,000]] [[Jews|Untermenschen]]. Chances are if a loser, buttfucking person like [[you]] lived in Germany around that time, then you would be rightfully pawned as well, especially if you are a [[kike]], [[fag]], [[nigga]], [[retard]], or [[fat]]tie. Because of this, Nazis are pure good and you must show your support of all things Nazi at every given opportunity. If anyone shows the slightest interest in the Third Reich in history or National Socialism as a political theory, or even spiffy uniforms, you must assist them in any way possible.
A '''Nazi''', or National Socialist, is a member of the [[TL;DR|Nationalsozialistischen Deutschen Arbeiterpartei]] [[religion]] and a follower of its [[trolling|ideology]]. Nazis came to power in [[Germany]] [[at least 100 years ago]] under the [[win|wise]] leadership of [[Adolf Hitler]]. For teh [[lulz]], they went and took over [[Europe]] and allegedly killed [[Over 9000|over 6,000,000]] [[Jews|Untermenschen]]. Chances are if a loser, buttfucking person like [[you]] lived in Germany around that time, then you would be rightfully pawned as well, especially if you are a [[kike]], [[fag]], [[nigga]], [[retard]], or [[fat]]tie. Because of this, Nazis are pure good and you must show your support of all things Nazi at every given opportunity. If anyone shows the slightest interest in the Third Reich in history or National Socialism as a political theory, or even spiffy uniforms, you must assist them in any way possible.


Could you imagine what type of shit hole we would be living in if they hadn't killed all those Jews? There would be Jews everywhere! Lets be nice and say only six million were killed (which wasn't enough), they would have multiplied like Asian bunnies. It is a known fact that Jews are cause of all the world's problems. We would be driving flying cars powered by the earth energy, no Ben Stiller movies, and maybe you wouldn't be so fucking poor along with knowing the fact that when shit hits the fan and the world is bout to be fucked; that there's some Jew kyke basterds in a space ship sipping kosher bud light because their ancestors spent their entire time on earth trying to JEW YOU HARD.
Could you imagine what type of shit hole we would be living in if they hadn't killed all those Jews? There would be Jews everywhere! Lets be nice and say only six million were killed (which wasn't enough), they would have multiplied like Asian bunnies. It is a known fact that Jews are cause of all the world's problems. We would be driving flying cars powered by the earth energy, no Ben Stiller movies, and maybe you wouldn't be so fucking poor along with knowing the fact that when shit hits the fan and the world is bout to be fucked; that there's some Jew kyke basterds in a space ship sipping kosher bud light because their ancestors spent their entire time on earth trying to JEW YOU HARD.
 
== Instructions ==


==Instructions==
# Invoke an internal and external enemy.
# Invoke an internal and external enemy.
# Create secret prisons where torture takes place.
# Create secret prisons where torture takes place.
Line 30: Line 31:
# PROFIT!
# PROFIT!


==Nazi ideology==
== Nazi ideology ==
 
[[Image:DaJoozDidIt.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Image:DaJoozDidIt.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Really_gay_propaganda.jpg|thumb|Totally [[Lie|not gay.]]]]
[[Image:Really_gay_propaganda.jpg|thumb|Totally [[Lie|not gay.]]]]
Line 40: Line 42:
During the 1920s and 1930s Homosexuality was dubbed the "German Vice." The [[卐|Nazi]] party and especially the Schutzstaffel (SS) attracted young Aryan homosexuals to [[in the ass|join their lines]] and cover it up with BS politics. The Nazi party therefore became the biggest gay organization in Europe (Gay rights were invented in Nazi Germany, as were animal and furry rights, and the lack of rights for smokers). To cover up their faggotry, they had to kill men as much as they fuck them. This was convenient, as a scapegoat could serve both the gay mafia and the general populace's demand for redemption, as follows:  
During the 1920s and 1930s Homosexuality was dubbed the "German Vice." The [[卐|Nazi]] party and especially the Schutzstaffel (SS) attracted young Aryan homosexuals to [[in the ass|join their lines]] and cover it up with BS politics. The Nazi party therefore became the biggest gay organization in Europe (Gay rights were invented in Nazi Germany, as were animal and furry rights, and the lack of rights for smokers). To cover up their faggotry, they had to kill men as much as they fuck them. This was convenient, as a scapegoat could serve both the gay mafia and the general populace's demand for redemption, as follows:  


It's the Jews' fault. All of it. Lose a war? Jews. Country in a massive economic depression? Jews. Can't escape this overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and futility? Jews. Michael Jackson die? Jews. Step in some dog crap? Jew dog. It's all simple. The only effective weapon against the Jewish threat is the righteous [[White|Aryan]] nations rallying under [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3IjcmOCfIg Adolf Hitler]. Hitler is awesome and Hitler will solve all your problems.
It's the Jews' fault. All of it. Lose a war? Jews. Country in a massive economic depression? Jews. Can't escape this overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and futility? Jews. Michael Jackson die? Jews. Step in some dog crap? Jew dog. It's all simple. The only effective weapon against the Jewish threat is the righteous [[White|Aryan]] nations rallying under {{ytlink|B3IjcmOCfIg|Adolf Hitler}}. Hitler is awesome and Hitler will solve all your problems.


The only flaw in killing the Jews was the gas chamber. If Hitler didn't use the gas chamber, but chopped the corpses into Eukanuba, who knows how much money he could have earned. Maybe he could have gotten rid of another lesser race like the niggers. If he wiped out all the niggers, then maybe we wouldn't deal with the shit that niggers make.
The only flaw in killing the Jews was the gas chamber. If Hitler didn't use the gas chamber, but chopped the corpses into Eukanuba, who knows how much money he could have earned. Maybe he could have gotten rid of another lesser race like the niggers. If he wiped out all the niggers, then maybe we wouldn't deal with the shit that niggers make.


To properly live as a Nazi, one must constantly wear the right sexy uniform. Men must be clean, live well and be totally [[not gay]]. To show how proud they are of their white skin, they should mark it all up in a mass of black ugly [[tattoo]]s of swastikas, SS, Hitler, runic letter Z, dumbass numerical c0dez for secret slogans like "14-7" and "88", shamrocks, and whatever other shit they can come up with to cover up all the white bits until nobody can tell they belong to an inferior race just by looking at them. Women must make healthy Aryan [[Anabelle_Lotus|babies]]. Lots and lots of healthy Aryan babies. Women have only one good hole so they should keep it in top shape!
To properly live as a Nazi, one must constantly wear the right sexy uniform. Men must be clean, live well and be totally [[not gay]]. To show how proud they are of their white skin, they should mark it all up in a mass of black ugly [[tattoo]]s of swastikas, SS, Hitler, runic letter Z, dumbass numerical c0dez for secret slogans like "14-7" and "88", shamrocks, and whatever other shit they can come up with to cover up all the white bits until nobody can tell they belong to an inferior race just by looking at them. Women must make healthy Aryan [[Anabelle Lotus|babies]]. Lots and lots of healthy Aryan babies. Women have only one good hole so they should keep it in top shape!


Nazis founded a political ideology of and [[Antisemitism]], [[Communism|Anticommoonism]] and [[Conservative|far right doctrine]] that on paper sounded utterly retarded. However by implementing such [[Bullshit|free market, capitalistic]] ideas as [[Communism|government-sponsored economic programs, government-sponsored the development of infrastructure, government ideological indoctrination groups and government-sponsored violent coercion]], the Nazis were able to unite Germany around it. As in reality Communism [[Truth|does not work]], everyone knows that the Nazis ''really'' rebuilt the economy by redistributing all the gold they stole from the Jews.
Nazis founded a political ideology of and [[Antisemitism]], [[Communism|Anticommoonism]] and [[Conservative|far right doctrine]] that on paper sounded utterly retarded. However by implementing such [[Bullshit|free market, capitalistic]] ideas as [[Communism|government-sponsored economic programs, government-sponsored the development of infrastructure, government ideological indoctrination groups and government-sponsored violent coercion]], the Nazis were able to unite Germany around it. As in reality Communism [[Truth|does not work]], everyone knows that the Nazis ''really'' rebuilt the economy by redistributing all the gold they stole from the Jews.
Line 59: Line 61:


[[Image:Goeringgoeb.jpg|thumb|Look out, Li'l Joe! Göring's gonna [[om_nom_nom|eechoo!]]]]
[[Image:Goeringgoeb.jpg|thumb|Look out, Li'l Joe! Göring's gonna [[om_nom_nom|eechoo!]]]]
[[Image:Donald_nazi.jpg|thumb|[[Uncle Dolan|Donald Duck?]] IN MY ''MEIN KAMPF''???]]
[[Image:Donald_nazi.jpg|thumb|[[Uncle Dolan|Donald Duck?]] [[X? In My Y?|IN MY ''MEIN KAMPF''???]]]]


Reichsführer of the SS and all of its aspects. No successful organization is complete without a totally obsessed, hard-working [[aspie]] and Heinrich Himmler was Hitler's favorite aspie. His hobbies included gardening, [[catnarok|Neo-Pagan mysticism]], serving his Führer, and genocide. Before joining the Nazis he farmed [[Chikins|chikkinz]], LOL. Some suspect he had chinky eyes and was secretly part gook, but who knows?
Reichsführer of the SS and all of its aspects. No successful organization is complete without a totally obsessed, hard-working [[aspie]] and Heinrich Himmler was Hitler's favorite aspie. His hobbies included gardening, [[catnarok|Neo-Pagan mysticism]], serving his Führer, and genocide. Before joining the Nazis he farmed [[Chikins|chikkinz]], LOL. Some suspect he had chinky eyes and was secretly part gook, but who knows?
Line 68: Line 70:


===Marty Bormann===  
===Marty Bormann===  
[[Lemonparty|Personal secretary]] to the [[Hitler|Führer]], and as such had [[BDSM|total control]] of his life: Every piece of information and request that went to the [[W|Führer]] was vetted by him - and every order out was too, and was called by some the real Führer. STFU, BORMANN, NOBODY LIKES YOU. Some people believe that he [[an_hero|went missing]], others say that right about the end, his Führer got scared And said, "You're movin' with your auntie and [[Josef Mengele|uncle]] in [[Argentina|Bel-Air]]."
 
[[Lemonparty|Personal secretary]] to the [[Hitler|Führer]], and as such had [[BDSM|total control]] of his life: Every piece of information and request that went to the [[W|Führer]] was vetted by him - and every order out was too, and was called by some the real Führer. STFU, BORMANN, NOBODY LIKES YOU. Some people believe that he [[an_hero|went missing]], others say that right about the end, his Führer got scared And said, "You're movin' with your auntie and [[Josef Mengele|uncle]] in [[Argentina|Bel-Air]]."


===Joseph Goebbels===
===Joseph Goebbels===
Propaganda Minister and official [[emo]] child of the 3rd Reich. A long mysterious childhood illness left him with a [[erectile dysfunction|limp]] and standing only about [[short man syndrome|5 ft. tall]] and weighing only about [[Pro-ana|100 pounds]] soaking wet, thus making him ideal for storing in tight spaces as well as totally and unrepentantly [[kawaii|KAWAII]]. He was totally [[ghey]] for [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KufHGYKqH9E Hitler], so much so that together they proved their emosity and made a [[suicide]] pact that just so happened to also include Goebbels's wife and six kids.
 
[[Ben Garrison|Propaganda Minister]] and official [[emo]] child of the 3rd Reich. A long mysterious childhood illness left him with a [[erectile dysfunction|limp]] and standing only about [[short man syndrome|5 ft. tall]] and weighing only about [[Pro-ana|100 pounds]] soaking wet, thus making him ideal for storing in tight spaces as well as totally and unrepentantly [[kawaii|KAWAII]]. He was totally [[ghey]] for {{ytlink|KufHGYKqH9E|Hitler}}, so much so that together they proved their emosity and made a [[suicide]] pact that just so happened to also include Goebbels's wife and six kids.


===Hermann Göring===  
===Hermann Göring===  
After being a major aviation hero in the First World War, he joined the National Socialist movement, pissed off the government and got briefly exiled to Sweden. There, he got addicted to [[drugs|morphine]] and became a raging [[fatass]]. He returned to Germany and became president of the Reichstag under Hitler and [[ruination|Field Marshall]] of one of the greatest air forces in history and still got [[pwned]] by the RAF.  
After being a major aviation hero in the First World War, he joined the National Socialist movement, pissed off the government and got briefly exiled to Sweden. There, he got addicted to [[drugs|morphine]] and became a raging [[fatass]]. He returned to Germany and became president of the Reichstag under Hitler and [[ruination|Field Marshall]] of one of the greatest air forces in history and still got [[pwned]] by the RAF.  


[[Image:HeydrichPortrait11.jpg|thumb|left||Reinhard Heydrich. He's Aryaner than you.]]
[[Image:HeydrichPortrait11.jpg|thumb|left||Reinhard Heydrich. He's Aryaner than you.]]


===Reinhard Heydrich===  
===Reinhard Heydrich===
 
[[Image:Shocked.jpg|thumb|Eva Braun reacts to Hitler's [[cock]].]]
[[Image:Shocked.jpg|thumb|Eva Braun reacts to Hitler's [[cock]].]]
[[Image:Playing with blondi.JPG|thumb|Nazis [[Greenpeace|love animals and the Earth]].]]
[[Image:Playing with blondi.JPG|thumb|Nazis [[Greenpeace|love animals and the Earth]].]]


Chief of the Gestapo and SD spy network. He was and still is considered by many to be the symbol of the perfect Nazi. He was tall, handsome, and very very Aryan; an accomplished violinist and fencer, and all-around [[alpha male]] who would sleep with your girlfriend and have you arrested for [[faggotry]]. Also the one prominent Nazi who very likely may have been part Jew. LOL, [[irony]]. Actually, this makes sense because Heydrich had a knack for [[Jews_did_WTC|orchestrating fake attacks for his own personal political gain.]]
Chief of the Gestapo and SD spy network. He was and still is considered by many to be the symbol of the perfect Nazi. He was tall, handsome, and very very Aryan; an accomplished violinist and fencer, and all-around [[alpha male]] who would sleep with your girlfriend and have you arrested for [[faggotry]]. Also the one prominent Nazi who very likely may have been part Jew. LOL, [[irony]]. Actually, this makes sense because Heydrich had a knack for [[Jews_did_WTC|orchestrating fake attacks for his own personal political gain.]]


===Erich Priebke===
===Erich Priebke===
This was a Hauptsturmführer in Italy, particularly Rome. When 33 Nazi's were killed by a resistance movement called the [[Hippie|Italian Resistance]] Priebke applied a rule in which ten [[Jews]] were killed for every killed Nazi, ten times 33 being 330, he didn't kill 330, but 335! [[OMFG]]. This created mass [[butthurt]] amongst people who weren't born in the war but still did care.  
This was a Hauptsturmführer in Italy, particularly Rome. When 33 Nazi's were killed by a resistance movement called the [[Hippie|Italian Resistance]] Priebke applied a rule in which ten [[Jews]] were killed for every killed Nazi, ten times 33 being 330, he didn't kill 330, but 335! [[OMFG]]. This created mass [[butthurt]] amongst people who weren't born in the war but still did care.  
After the losing the war, he fled to [[Argentinia]] where he lived for about fifty years. But after this time people were still [[butthurt]] and didn't forget about the World War, even when they weren't born in it or were as old to remember it, so they prosecuted an 81-year-old man to gain satisfaction.  
After the losing the war, he fled to [[Argentinia]] where he lived for about fifty years. But after this time people were still [[butthurt]] and didn't forget about the World War, even when they weren't born in it or were as old to remember it, so they prosecuted an 81-year-old man to gain satisfaction.  


===Josef Kramer===
===Josef Kramer===
Josef Kramer. Pappa J-Kramer was Commandant of the Bergen-Belson concentration camp. He had the sickest nick-name, which was "The Beast of Belsen" although Kramer was naughty and was responsible for the deaths of thousands. He was a Nazi war criminal. He was born in Munich and he joined the Nazi Party in 1931 also before Bergen-Belsen he was a Hauptsturmfuhrer of Auschwitz and was in charge of the gas chambers. When Bergen Belsen was liberated by the tea-drinkers, he actual gave them a tour around the camp, he was then arrested.
Josef Kramer. Pappa J-Kramer was Commandant of the Bergen-Belson concentration camp. He had the sickest nick-name, which was "The Beast of Belsen" although Kramer was naughty and was responsible for the deaths of thousands. He was a Nazi war criminal. He was born in Munich and he joined the Nazi Party in 1931 also before Bergen-Belsen he was a Hauptsturmfuhrer of Auschwitz and was in charge of the gas chambers. When Bergen Belsen was liberated by the tea-drinkers, he actual gave them a tour around the camp, he was then arrested.
They say he was trailed and hanged for his war crimes. They are wrong. He later on went to become the popular character Kramer in a famous American sitcom called ''Seinfeld''.
They say he was trailed and hanged for his war crimes. They are wrong. He later on went to become the popular character Kramer in a famous American sitcom called ''Seinfeld''.


===Eva Braun===
===Eva Braun===
Hitler's personal Jewish faghag.
Hitler's personal Jewish faghag.


Line 99: Line 107:


===Rudolf Hess===
===Rudolf Hess===
King of eyebrows. He was Hitler's right-hand man up until the eve of the invasion of Russia when he decided to fly to England and try negotiating a peace settlement [[I did it for the lulz|without telling anybody]]. Hitler was not amused. The next time Hess made a major public appearance he was on trial at Nuremberg, [[batshit insane|counting his fingers repetitively and laughing at inappropriate moments]].<br>
 
King of eyebrows. He was Hitler's right-hand man up until the eve of the invasion of Russia when he decided to fly to England and try negotiating a peace settlement [[I did it for the lulz|without telling anybody]]. Hitler was not amused. The next time Hess made a major public appearance he was on trial at Nuremberg, [[batshit insane|counting his fingers repetitively and laughing at inappropriate moments]].<br>


Hess's views on the whole incident: [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-1-75474672 page 1] [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-2-75487624 2] [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-3-75538329 3] [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-4-75584497 4] [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-5-75626377 5] [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-6-76193189 6] [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-7-77551657 7]
Hess's views on the whole incident: [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-1-75474672 page 1] [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-2-75487624 2] [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-3-75538329 3] [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-4-75584497 4] [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-5-75626377 5] [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-6-76193189 6] [http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/WonderReich-page-7-77551657 7]
Line 106: Line 115:


===Blondi===
===Blondi===
Hitler's [[dog|canine companion]]. Proof that [[buy a dog|getting a dog]] doesn't always work. This also fueled rumors about Hitler preferring [[furries]] to [[Cumslut|his wife Eva]]. More rumors also state that Blondi was actually [[Mudkips|a fur coat for his beloved Mudkips]].
 
Hitler's [[dog|canine companion]]. Proof that [[buy a dog|getting a dog]] doesn't always work. This also fueled rumors about Hitler preferring [[furries]] to [[Cumslut|his wife Eva]]. More rumors also state that Blondi was actually [[Mudkips|a fur coat for his beloved Mudkips]].


===[[Josef Mengele]]===
===[[Josef Mengele]]===
A true pioneer in [[IDIFTL|doing it for the lulz]]. Young Josef Mengele (also known as Mengy-kun, Bishie Queen Of The SS) was a new doctor happily working away at his genetic research when suddenly the evil spewing from his magnificent toothy gap told him it would be fun to go mutilate Jews in the name of [[The Comprehensive Theory of Lulz|science]]. Because of his hard work and dedication, [[Bill Nye|the world]] now knows that you cannot change someone's eye color by injecting them with [[bleach]], that sitting in cold water for a long time will indeed kill you slowly, that people die when you rip out their organs, and that just because you've sewn them together doesn't mean they're Siamese twins.
A true pioneer in [[IDIFTL|doing it for the lulz]]. Young Josef Mengele (also known as Mengy-kun, Bishie Queen Of The SS) was a new doctor happily working away at his genetic research when suddenly the evil spewing from his magnificent toothy gap told him it would be fun to go mutilate Jews in the name of [[The Comprehensive Theory of Lulz|science]]. Because of his hard work and dedication, [[Bill Nye|the world]] now knows that you cannot change someone's eye color by injecting them with [[bleach]], that sitting in cold water for a long time will indeed kill you slowly, that people die when you rip out their organs, and that just because you've sewn them together doesn't mean they're Siamese twins.


[[Image:cruisenazi.jpg|thumb|right|[[Leave Bond to me|Leave SPs to Me]]]]
[[Image:cruisenazi.jpg|thumb|[[Leave Bond to me|Leave SPs to Me]]]]


===Claus Philipp Maria Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg===
===Claus Philipp Maria Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg===
Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg was a <s>German army officer</s> Jew. With a totally sweet eyepatch, he quickly became one of the Third Reich's most feared men. Unfortunately, he became [[butthurt]] when [[Hitler]] tried to turn Germany something he did not like, so he hatched a treasonous plot to kill Hitler with a bomb in a briefcase left at one of Hitler's strategy meetings. This was easier said than done, because Stauffenberg was missing his right hand and had only three fingers on his left hand, which would have made [[fap]]ping extremely hard. Unfortunately, some oblivious [[Hero|douche]] kicked the briefcase and the explosion was fucked up so that Hitler only lost his pants, and not his life.  Long story short, someone ratted Stauffenberg out, and he was hunted down and [[pwned]] by firing squad the day after the July 20 plot.


In the end, all Stauffenberg managed to accomplish was to murder an innocent stenographer and fail in his ultimate mission. Despite that, he is celebrated in Germany today, even though he was a colossal failure.
Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg was a <s>German army officer</s> Jew. With a totally sweet eyepatch, he quickly became one of the Third Reich's most feared men. Unfortunately, he became [[butthurt]] when [[Hitler]] tried to turn Germany something he did not like, so he hatched a treasonous plot to kill Hitler with a bomb in a briefcase left at one of Hitler's strategy meetings. This was easier said than done, because Stauffenberg was missing his right hand and had only three fingers on his left hand, which would have made [[fap]]ping extremely hard. Unfortunately, some oblivious [[Hero|douche]] kicked the briefcase and the explosion was fucked up so that Hitler only lost his pants, and not his life. Long story short, someone ratted Stauffenberg out, and he was hunted down and [[pwned]] by firing squad the day after the July 20 plot.
 
In the end, all Stauffenberg managed to accomplish was to murder an innocent stenographer and fail in his ultimate mission. Despite that, he is celebrated in Germany today, even though he was a colossal failure.


===John Mayer===
===John Mayer===
In an interview with Playboy Magazine, guitarist John Mayer revealed that his [[Cock|penis]] is a [[White_supremacist|white supremacist]]. This makes Mayer's penis the most redeeming part of his entire body, since he is otherwise a total [[Douche|douche]].
In an interview with Playboy Magazine, guitarist John Mayer revealed that his [[Cock|penis]] is a [[White_supremacist|white supremacist]]. This makes Mayer's penis the most redeeming part of his entire body, since he is otherwise a total [[Douche|douche]].


Line 124: Line 137:


===Amon Goeth===
===Amon Goeth===
<center>
 
{{center|
<youtube>wjCwU8hwRXA</youtube>
<youtube>wjCwU8hwRXA</youtube>
</center>
}}
{{clear}}


==Contemporary Nazis==


{{clear}}
==Modern Nazis==
Back in the day, Nazis were supposed to be the apex of humanity. They were educated, cultured and [[dignity|dignified]]. However, nowadays, Nazis are second most backward class of mankind after niggers. If you come across a Nazi, they more likely to resemble these fine examples of humanity:
Back in the day, Nazis were supposed to be the apex of humanity. They were educated, cultured and [[dignity|dignified]]. However, nowadays, Nazis are second most backward class of mankind after niggers. If you come across a Nazi, they more likely to resemble these fine examples of humanity:


Line 145: Line 157:


<br>{{cg|Natural Nazis|nazigallery|center|<gallery>
<br>{{cg|Natural Nazis|nazigallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Modernazi.jpg|Can you smell [[fail|irony]] in this picture?
File:Modernazi.jpg|Can you smell [[fail|irony]] in this picture?
Image:20090627 Hal-Turner.jpg |[[hal turner|If desperation had a face....]]
File:20090627 Hal-Turner.jpg |[[hal turner|If desperation had a face....]]
Image:ANGREH2.jpg |Pissed off or constipated?  
File:ANGREH2.jpg |Pissed off or constipated?  
Image:Failstika.jpg|[[Doing it wrong|Failstika]]
File:Failstika.jpg|[[Doing it wrong|Failstika]]
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Nazi nurd.png
File:Nazi nurd.png
Line 157: Line 169:
File:Pol nazeefag.png| /pol/
File:Pol nazeefag.png| /pol/
File:Justin bieber sieg fail.jpg|Justin Bieber is a Nazi.
File:Justin bieber sieg fail.jpg|Justin Bieber is a Nazi.
Image:Siegfail.jpg|[[User:Sieg_Fail|Sieg Fail]]
File:Siegfail.jpg|[[User:Sieg_Fail|Sieg Fail]]
Image:Prussianblue.jpg|[[Prussian Blue|Fapfapfap]]
File:Prussianblue.jpg|[[Prussian Blue|Fapfapfap]]
Image:Axis powers.jpg|ARYANS [[Threesome|UNITE!!!!]]
File:Axis powers.jpg|ARYANS [[Threesome|UNITE!!!!]]
Image:Neo nazi fatass.jpg|How Nazis hail taxicabs.
File:Neo nazi fatass.jpg|How Nazis hail taxicabs.
Image:Hey nazi chick.jpg |[[whore|Dumb Bitch]]. She's also holding an Israeli weapon, typical Blond Nazi.
File:Hey nazi chick.jpg |[[whore|Dumb Bitch]]. She's also holding an Israeli weapon, typical Blond Nazi.
Image:Allgier.jpg|[[Eminem]]
File:Allgier.jpg|[[Eminem]]
Image:NeoNaziOops.jpg|All modern day Nazis are fat.
File:NeoNaziOops.jpg|All modern day Nazis are fat.
Image:Skinhead britney.jpg|LOL WUT
File:Skinhead britney.jpg|LOL WUT
File:Black nigger nazis.jpg| They come in black too
File:Black nigger nazis.jpg| They come in black too
Image:20070527-anti skinhead.jpg|black person PWNING a red supremacist?
File:20070527-anti skinhead.jpg|black person PWNING a red supremacist?
Image:Nazinigger.jpg|LOL, silly skinhead, that sort of thing will get you sent to camp!
File:Nazinigger.jpg|LOL, silly skinhead, that sort of thing will get you sent to camp!
Image:RonPaulsupporter.jpg|Most Nazis [[fap]] to [[Ron Paul]].
File:RonPaulsupporter.jpg|Most Nazis [[fap]] to [[Ron Paul]].
Image:Niggeracist.jpg|Some modern Nazis happen to be black person than others, though not for the lack of trying.
File:Niggeracist.jpg|Some modern Nazis happen to be black person than others, though not for the lack of trying.
Image:Skingirls_Toppless_&_Sexy_(23).jpg‎‎|Nazis Gone Wild.
File:Skingirls_Toppless_&_Sexy_(23).jpg‎‎|Nazis Gone Wild.
Image:Nazicamwhore.jpg‎|Nazis are also well known camwhores.
File:Nazicamwhore.jpg‎|Nazis are also well known camwhores.
Image:Anarchist nazi's.jpg|[[Anarchy]]=no government control, Nazi=complete government control. These guys represent [[Fail|the total destruction of their own fascist ideology]]
File:Anarchist nazi's.jpg|[[Anarchy]]=no government control, Nazi=complete government control. These guys represent [[Fail|the total destruction of their own fascist ideology]]
File:Tomcatnazi.jpg
File:Tomcatnazi.jpg
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}
Line 178: Line 190:
If [[Hitler]] was alive today and saw his followers [[an hero|he'd shoot himself again]].
If [[Hitler]] was alive today and saw his followers [[an hero|he'd shoot himself again]].


Modern day Nazis and their assorted brethren make for astounding targets for trolling. Dealing with the fact that they have been largely reduced to hapless anachronisms, they tend to band together for shelter in the far corners of the Internet. That, plus they're mostly a bunch of drunken idiots who are [[unwarranted self-importance|absolutely convinced that they are 100% right]] and will quite loudly tell you [[aspierations|how right they are]]. They often fail to realize that racism as a learned behavior, not a deep-seated biological survival instinct, and presenting them with any genetic and racial science newer then 1965 will cause them to promptly [[shit bricks|shit brix]] and go into a [[hissy fit|fit of Righteous Aryan Rage]].
Modern day Nazis and their assorted brethren make for astounding targets for trolling. Dealing with the fact that they have been largely reduced to hapless anachronisms, they tend to band together for shelter in the far corners of the Internet. That, plus they're mostly a bunch of drunken idiots who are [[unwarranted self-importance|absolutely convinced that they are 100% right]] and will quite loudly tell you [[aspierations|how right they are]]. They often fail to realize that racism as a learned behavior, not a deep-seated biological survival instinct, and presenting them with any genetic and racial science newer then 1965 will cause them to promptly [[shit bricks|shit brix]] and go into a [[hissy fit|fit of Righteous Aryan Rage]].


Whereas the original Nazis actually maintained their German culture, celebrating, appreciating and reveling in German art, literature and music, modern day Nazis get their culture by listening to a lot of White Power Rock'n'Roll. Never mind the fact that rock'n'roll is essentially African-American folk music [[stolen|borrowed]] by the White Man, and that "borrowing" something from another culture is the definition of multiculturalism and that Hitler devoted an entire chapter of ''[[Mein Kampf]]'' describing how the degradation of Aryan culture would lead to the extinction of the white man.
Whereas the original Nazis actually maintained their German culture, celebrating, appreciating and reveling in German art, literature and music, modern day Nazis get their culture by listening to a lot of White Power Rock'n'Roll. Never mind the fact that rock'n'roll is essentially African-American folk music [[stolen|borrowed]] by the White Man, and that "borrowing" something from another culture is the definition of multiculturalism and that Hitler devoted an entire chapter of ''[[Mein Kampf]]'' describing how the degradation of Aryan culture would lead to the extinction of the white man.


Often modern Nazis will tell you how [[bullshit|they are not about hate]]. Because trying to form an All-White purified European culture is all about love and tolerance.
Often modern Nazis will tell you how [[bullshit|they are not about hate]]. Because trying to form an All-White purified European culture is all about love and tolerance.


The new Nazis hate [[Muslim]]s more than [[Jews]] (just ask [[Sweden]]).
The new Nazis hate [[Muslim]]s more than [[Jews]] (just ask [[Sweden]]).
Line 188: Line 200:
{{quote|[[lol wut|We in the National Alliance do believe in freedom and we DO believe in diversity. Not in racial diversity within a given nation-state, of course, but lots of other kinds of diversity: craftsman and farmer, musician and scholar, warrior and statesman, visionary and manager, and so on. We believe in that type of diversity because we believe in freedom.]]| National Alliance front page, basically admitting to inbreeding with close relatives}}
{{quote|[[lol wut|We in the National Alliance do believe in freedom and we DO believe in diversity. Not in racial diversity within a given nation-state, of course, but lots of other kinds of diversity: craftsman and farmer, musician and scholar, warrior and statesman, visionary and manager, and so on. We believe in that type of diversity because we believe in freedom.]]| National Alliance front page, basically admitting to inbreeding with close relatives}}


 
{{center|
<center><youtube>IHyejLRIXhE</youtube></center>
<youtube>IHyejLRIXhE</youtube>
}}


{{quote|I would not have [[Jews|Jewish]] friends because [[Fact|they're dishonest and steal stuff right out of your hands and run off with it.]]| Nazi Kid on [[Jews]]}}
{{quote|I would not have [[Jews|Jewish]] friends because [[Fact|they're dishonest and steal stuff right out of your hands and run off with it.]]| Nazi Kid on [[Jews]]}}
Line 196: Line 209:


===/b/tards===
===/b/tards===
In [[90s|1993]], an [[Lurker|undercover]] [[Jew]] discovered [[Btard|/b/tard]]s having a [[4chan_Gold_Account|secret club meeting]]:
In [[90s|1993]], an [[Lurker|undercover]] [[Jew]] discovered [[Btard|/b/tard]]s having a [[4chan_Gold_Account|secret club meeting]]:


Line 203: Line 217:


===Thais===
===Thais===
Sacred Heart Preparatory School, a [[christian]] school in [[Redneck|Chiang Mai]] found out a way to [[cosplay]] without dressing up like [[trap|bargirl versions]] of [[Anime|pop-cultural characters]]. How? By dressing up like nazis, of course:
Sacred Heart Preparatory School, a [[christian]] school in [[Redneck|Chiang Mai]] found out a way to [[cosplay]] without dressing up like [[trap|bargirl versions]] of [[Anime|pop-cultural characters]]. How? By dressing up like nazis, of course:


{{center|<gallery perrow="5">
{{center|
Image:Sacred_heart_nazi_parade_1.jpg|But where's the rest of the parade?
<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Sacred_Heart_Nazi_Parade_2.jpg|PEW-PEW-PEW!
File:Sacred_heart_nazi_parade_1.jpg|But where's the rest of the parade?
Image:Sacred_Heart_Nazi_Parade_3.jpg|Sieg Fail!
File:Sacred_Heart_Nazi_Parade_2.jpg|PEW-PEW-PEW!
Image:Sacred_Heart_Nazi_Parade_4.jpg|Heil [[SpongeBob Squarepants]]! Innocent aryan sungod of the east!
File:Sacred_Heart_Nazi_Parade_3.jpg|Sieg Fail!
Image:Sacred_heart_nazi_parade_5.jpg|My, that's a nice dress. Probably the nicest dress in SE [[Asia]] since [[pwn|the french left Vietnam]].
File:Sacred_Heart_Nazi_Parade_4.jpg|Heil [[SpongeBob Squarepants]]! Innocent aryan sungod of the east!
</gallery>}}
File:Sacred_heart_nazi_parade_5.jpg|My, that's a nice dress. Probably the nicest dress in SE [[Asia]] since [[pwn|the french left Vietnam]].
</gallery>
}}
{{clear}}
{{clear}}


==Nazi achievements==
==Nazi achievements==
Nazis ruled Germany for ten years, yet their only long lasting achievement which benefited their race was the production of the Volkswagen Beetle (Which is pretty shit anyway and the blueprints are from Czechoslovakia which the Nazis stole, that means they're also stealing Jews). The Nazis also managed to create the lulziest war ever, and managed to get a high score of 6,000,000 kills, but was defeated by the final boss [[Russia]]. The Russians then proceeded to deport sixteen million Prussians from their stolen third of Germany... in cattle trains and using them as extras impersonating yids for the production of the Schindler's List. After the Worldwide success of the film everything Nazi became culturally frowned upon; with the following exceptions.  
Nazis ruled Germany for ten years, yet their only long lasting achievement which benefited their race was the production of the Volkswagen Beetle (Which is pretty shit anyway and the blueprints are from Czechoslovakia which the Nazis stole, that means they're also stealing Jews). The Nazis also managed to create the lulziest war ever, and managed to get a high score of 6,000,000 kills, but was defeated by the final boss [[Russia]]. The Russians then proceeded to deport sixteen million Prussians from their stolen third of Germany... in cattle trains and using them as extras impersonating yids for the production of the Schindler's List. After the Worldwide success of the film everything Nazi became culturally frowned upon; with the following exceptions.  


==Culturally acceptable Nazis==
==Culturally acceptable Nazis==
* [[Jimmy Wales|Alfred Rosenberg]] - Philanthropist.
* [[Jimmy Wales|Alfred Rosenberg]] - Philanthropist.
* David von Gurion - heavy duty runway.
* David von Gurion - heavy duty runway.
Line 225: Line 244:


==Other ways to be a Nazi==
==Other ways to be a Nazi==
*[[Feminazi]]
*[[Feminazi]]
*[[Grammar Nazi]]
*[[Grammar Nazi]]
Line 235: Line 255:


==Trolling with Nazis==
==Trolling with Nazis==
[[Image:Eating babies.jpg|thumb|What Jews think all Nazis look like.]]
[[Image:Eating babies.jpg|thumb|What Jews think all Nazis look like.]]
[[Image:naziganguro.jpg|thumb|What [[weeaboo|anime fans]] think Nazis look like.]]
[[Image:naziganguro.jpg|thumb|What [[weeaboo|anime fans]] think Nazis look like.]]
Line 246: Line 267:
*Suggest that the estimated 6 million dead may be exaggerated.
*Suggest that the estimated 6 million dead may be exaggerated.
*Go to YouTube. Search a documentary on the Holocaust and comment "Happy New Year from Germany".
*Go to YouTube. Search a documentary on the Holocaust and comment "Happy New Year from Germany".
*Point out that there were more non-Jews killed by the Nazis in their 'ethnic cleansing' plan than Jews. (You'll be accused of being an antisemitic Nazi yourself. Sense. It makes none.)
*Point out that there were more non-Jews killed by the Nazis in their "ethnic cleansing" plan than Jews. (You'll be accused of being an antisemitic Nazi yourself. Sense. It makes none.)
*Mention that the Nazis actually did do a few good things for Germany (building the autobahn, saving the country from complete economic collapse, restoring national pride, [http://www.cracked.com/article_15767_third-reich-fortune-500-five-popular-brands-nazis-gave-us.html etc].)
*Mention that the Nazis actually did do a few good things for Germany (building the autobahn, saving the country from complete economic collapse, restoring national pride, [http://www.cracked.com/article_15767_third-reich-fortune-500-five-popular-brands-nazis-gave-us.html etc].)
*Put a [[swastika]] somewhere.
*Put a [[swastika]] somewhere.
Line 273: Line 294:
|The total estimated human loss of life caused by World War II was roughly 72 million people. The civilian toll was around 47 million, including 20 million deaths due to war related famine and disease. The military toll was about 25 million, including the deaths of about 5 million prisoners of war in captivity. [[Pwnt|The Allies lost about 61 million people, and the Axis lost 11 million.]]
|The total estimated human loss of life caused by World War II was roughly 72 million people. The civilian toll was around 47 million, including 20 million deaths due to war related famine and disease. The military toll was about 25 million, including the deaths of about 5 million prisoners of war in captivity. [[Pwnt|The Allies lost about 61 million people, and the Axis lost 11 million.]]
You are truly brainly if you can symphatize with such a great think like killing people for such a reason .. woke up Nazi
You are truly brainly if you can symphatize with such a great think like killing people for such a reason .. woke up Nazi
|WTF you bich woke up or go out and find some boyfriend. Actually you so fuck uglly that you have no chance anyway I feel so sorry for you and please dont waste your time with repplying...
|WTF you bich woke up or go out and find some boyfriend. Actually you so fuck uglly that you have no chance anyway I feel so sorry for you and please dont waste your time with repplying...
|What's the point of being a Nazi if it's completley impossible for you to make a difference in society anymore. Everyone in the world that isn't a nazi hates you and most Nazis are just kids who read a lot about them and act like they do. Either that or they're racist towards jewish people.
|What's the point of being a Nazi if it's completley impossible for you to make a difference in society anymore. Everyone in the world that isn't a nazi hates you and most Nazis are just kids who read a lot about them and act like they do. Either that or they're racist towards jewish people.
|Why can't you have national socialism without the swastikas? [[Why do you hate America?|And do you hate jews?]]
|Why can't you have national socialism without the swastikas? [[Why do you hate America?|And do you hate jews?]]
}}
}}


All of these quotes were taken exclusively from the comments in [http://web.archive.org/web/20070911133910/http://nihilss.deviantart.com/ one DA account].
All of these quotes were taken exclusively from the comments in {{wayback|http://nihilss.deviantart.com/|20070911133910|title=one DA account}}.


==How to troll Nazis==
==How to troll Nazis==
[[Image:Friendly Nazi.jpg|thumb|What sane people (non-[[kikes]]) think all Nazis look like.]]
[[Image:Friendly Nazi.jpg|thumb|What sane people (non-[[kikes]]) think all Nazis look like.]]


Line 290: Line 312:
*Remind them the the real Aryans are Iranian/Indian people (again this proves Nazis low IQ levels).
*Remind them the the real Aryans are Iranian/Indian people (again this proves Nazis low IQ levels).
*Remind them the Swastika is an symbol Hitler stole again from the real Aryans.
*Remind them the Swastika is an symbol Hitler stole again from the real Aryans.
*Tell them Iran stands for the "Land of the Aryans".  
*Tell them Iran stands for the "Land of the Aryans".
*Tell them Jews are superior people and own everything including the world.  
*Tell them Jews are superior people and own everything including the world.
*Talk about your happy and successful homosexual relationship. Be sure to post pics. (Doesn't count if you're not white)!
*Talk about your happy and successful homosexual relationship. Be sure to post pics. (Doesn't count if you're not white)!
*Mention that the fact that all [[sluts|White girls]] have a innate, insatiable craving for a big black [[cock|cawk]] that no white man can satisfy.
*Mention that the fact that all [[sluts|White girls]] have a innate, insatiable craving for a big black [[cock|cawk]] that no white man can satisfy.
*Ask their opinion on [[Barack Obama]]. Bonus points if you get them arrested for making terrorist threats!
*Ask their opinion on [[Barack Obama]]. Bonus points if you get them arrested for making terrorist threats!
*Inform them that the Nazis were Marxist/Socialist and that Hitler, like Marx, was just a [[White guilt|self-hating]] Jew.
*Inform them that the Nazis were Marxist/Socialist and that Hitler, like Marx, was just a [[White guilt|self-hating]] Jew.
**And if they say the Nazis fought the Communists, tell them that was only because they were competing for the same [[You|pathetic excuses for human beings]] that [[Welfare|could not support themselves]] to recruit as mindless tools.
**And if they say the Nazis fought the Communists, tell them that was only because they were competing for the same [[You|pathetic excuses for human beings]] that [[Welfare|could not support themselves]] to recruit as mindless tools.
Line 300: Line 322:
*Remind them that if they hadn't driven Albert Einstein out of Germany, they might have won the battle, but lost the war.  
*Remind them that if they hadn't driven Albert Einstein out of Germany, they might have won the battle, but lost the war.  
*Say that it would be helpful to learn Spanish/Arabic/Chinese in Today's changing Society.
*Say that it would be helpful to learn Spanish/Arabic/Chinese in Today's changing Society.
*Ask how the weather is in [[Russia]]. Bonus points if they're actually Russian and you mention how true Nazi ideology holds Slavs as [[Jews|inhuman beasts]].
*Ask how the weather is in [[Russia]]. Bonus points if they're actually Russian and you mention how true Nazi ideology holds Slavs as [[Jews|inhuman beasts]].
*Suggest that their problems in obtaining gainful employment might not have so much to do with Jews and/or niggers and/or illegal immigration but perhaps may have more to do with the word HATE being tattooed across their forehead.
*Suggest that their problems in obtaining gainful employment might not have so much to do with Jews and/or niggers and/or illegal immigration but perhaps may have more to do with the word HATE being tattooed across their forehead.
*Tell them that Arabs, not Jews did 9/11.
*Tell them that Arabs, not Jews did 9/11.
Line 308: Line 330:
*Remind them of the fact that Rock, Metal, and every other genre that neo-Nazi bands ape is ultimately derived from Black American folk music.
*Remind them of the fact that Rock, Metal, and every other genre that neo-Nazi bands ape is ultimately derived from Black American folk music.
*Say that Night by Elie Wiesel is a powerful and magnificent work of literature that everyone in the whole world should read.
*Say that Night by Elie Wiesel is a powerful and magnificent work of literature that everyone in the whole world should read.
*Remind them that Jews are the smartest race, and black people are the strongest. Therefore the only master race would be a half black, half Jewish person. That's right, Lenny Kravitz is the new Führer! [[Goggles|Protective eyewear]] is suggested in case their brain explodes at the concept.
*Remind them that Jews are the smartest race, and black people are the strongest. Therefore the only master race would be a half black, half Jewish person. That's right, Lenny Kravitz is the new Führer! [[Goggles|Protective eyewear]] is suggested in case their brain explodes at the concept.
*[[WTF|Ask why there are mass graves scattered across Eastern Europe full of Jewish bodies and German bullets.]]  
*[[WTF|Ask why there are mass graves scattered across Eastern Europe full of Jewish bodies and German bullets.]]  
*Remind them that the estimated six million dead Jews is only a very rough estimate and that the number may be as high as over [[over 9000|eleven million]] (no shit, Sherlock).
*Remind them that the estimated six million dead Jews is only a very rough estimate and that the number may be as high as over [[over 9000|eleven million]] (no shit, Sherlock).
Line 315: Line 337:
*Remind them that the 6 million Jews was less than a third of the total death count.
*Remind them that the 6 million Jews was less than a third of the total death count.
*Tell them Oswald Spengler was a communist.
*Tell them Oswald Spengler was a communist.
*Tell them Oswald Spengler thought racists, antisemitic people and misogynists were imbeciles:
*Tell them Oswald Spengler thought racists, antisemitic people and misogynists were imbeciles:
**"How much envy of the capability of other people in view of one's lack of it lies hidden in antisemitism!"
**"How much envy of the capability of other people in view of one's lack of it lies hidden in antisemitism!"
**"When one would rather destroy business and scholarship than see Jews in them, one is an ideologue, a danger for the nation. Idiotic."
**"When one would rather destroy business and scholarship than see Jews in them, one is an ideologue, a danger for the nation. Idiotic."
*[[Israel|Ask them to explain the sudden complete disappearance of traditional Eastern European Jewish culture after World War II]].
*[[Israel|Ask them to explain the sudden complete disappearance of traditional Eastern European Jewish culture after World War II]].
*Ask them if they're Jewish. When they say no, respond with a sarcastic "Suuuuuure you're not!" Keep repeating until they assault you and/or admit their Jewish roots with a full Genographic Project test.  
*Ask them if they're Jewish. When they say no, respond with a sarcastic "Suuuuuure you're not!" Keep repeating until they assault you and/or admit their Jewish roots with a full Genographic Project test.  
*Discuss the finer aspects of Heinrich Himmler's [http://www.holocaust-history.org/himmler-poznan/ speech at Poznan]. Bonus points if you mention that Himmler was a total [[Assburgers|Aspie]] who eschewed figurative language!
*Discuss the finer aspects of Heinrich Himmler's [http://www.holocaust-history.org/himmler-poznan/ speech at Poznan]. Bonus points if you mention that Himmler was a total [[Assburgers|Aspie]] who eschewed figurative language!
*On Goering was probably gay or a bisexual.
*On Goering was probably gay or a bisexual.
*On Joseph Goebbels looked like a [[fag]].
*On Joseph Goebbels looked like a [[fag]].
*Say Nietzsche was [[slav|Polish]], not German. Even Nietzsche himself denied being German.
*Say Nietzsche was [[slav|Polish]], not German. Even Nietzsche himself denied being German.
*Inform them how America was inhabited by [[Native Americans|native red people]] and say that was genocide too. Bonus points if they don't realize that Hitler used that same argument against the Americans.  
*Inform them how America was inhabited by [[Native Americans|native red people]] and say that was genocide too. Bonus points if they don't realize that Hitler used that same argument against the Americans.  
*Kindly remind them that [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Leuchter Fred Leuchter] has only a BA in history (not science), has no engineering license, doesn't understand [[Zyklon B]], and has been [[pwned|proven wrong]] by experts with actual engineering degrees.
*Kindly remind them that [[Wikipedia:Fred Leuchter|Fred Leuchter]] has only a BA in history (not science), has no engineering license, doesn't understand [[Zyklon B]], and has been [[pwned|proven wrong]] by experts with actual engineering degrees.
*Mention that Hitler is one of the most [[popular|despised and hated]] figures of all time, and the fake propaganda they spread isn't going fool anybody to think otherwise.
*Mention that Hitler is one of the most [[popular|despised and hated]] figures of all time, and the fake propaganda they spread isn't going fool anybody to think otherwise.
*The Holocaust really happened and is one of the most widely documented events in history. So get over it, fuckwit.
*The Holocaust really happened and is one of the most widely documented events in history. So get over it, fuckwit.
Line 339: Line 361:
* Call a [[KKK]] member a white nigger (if he's Irish or Italian).
* Call a [[KKK]] member a white nigger (if he's Irish or Italian).
* Remind them that their women were rightfully raped by the Red Army, which treated all people, (including blacks, Jews and Asians,) except Nazi females, as equals.  
* Remind them that their women were rightfully raped by the Red Army, which treated all people, (including blacks, Jews and Asians,) except Nazi females, as equals.  
* Post this rap: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gewdaLQ31lo
* Post {{ytlink|gewdaLQ31lo|this rap}}
*tell them that they're a degenerate drain on the white race and that they use white supremacy as an excuse to ride the coattails of [[Dick Cheney|proper white people]].
*tell them that they're a degenerate drain on the white race and that they use white supremacy as an excuse to ride the coattails of [[Dick Cheney|proper white people]].
*tell them you're black.
*tell them you're black.
Line 351: Line 373:


==The fascist national anthem==
==The fascist national anthem==
<center>
<center>
<youtube>olU40fxAXZs</youtube>
<youtube>olU40fxAXZs</youtube>
Line 356: Line 379:


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
{{cg|Die Galerie|Nazis|center|<gallery>
{{cg|Die Galerie|Nazis|center|<gallery>
Image:Anime_furry_nazis.jpg|Even the gay furries are Nazis.
File:Anime_furry_nazis.jpg|Even the gay furries are Nazis.
Image:Nazi Teamwork.jpg|Nazis were big on teamwork
File:Nazi Teamwork.jpg|Nazis were big on teamwork
Image:Pram.jpg|Absolutely, totally, definitely [[Lie|NOT GAY]]
File:Pram.jpg|Absolutely, totally, definitely [[Lie|NOT GAY]]
Image:Snow fight.jpg|Shoving snow down the ass of your fellow soldier, the official pastime of the Wehrmacht.
File:Snow fight.jpg|Shoving snow down the ass of your fellow soldier, the official pastime of the Wehrmacht.
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Captains SS.png| Captain SS
File:Captains SS.png| Captain SS
Image:Oh, Jurgen! You Are Such Ze Joker, Ja!.jpg|"Oh, Jurgen! You are such ze joker, ja?"
File:Oh, Jurgen! You Are Such Ze Joker, Ja!.jpg|"Oh, Jurgen! You are such ze joker, ja?"
Image:Naziyay.jpg|Yay!
File:Naziyay.jpg|Yay!
Image:Germany-Poland.png|BAWWWW
File:Germany-Poland.png|BAWWWW
Image:Hey, Wanna Play.jpg
File:Hey, Wanna Play.jpg
Image:Blitzkreig.jpg
File:Blitzkreig.jpg
File:Hitler's New Furniture.jpg
File:Hitler's New Furniture.jpg
Image:Mengele.jpg|Japan loves Nazis
File:Mengele.jpg|Japan loves Nazis
File:Ducknazi.jpg|[[Disney]] does as well.
File:Ducknazi.jpg|[[Disney]] does as well.
Image:No more kitten around!.JPG
File:No more kitten around!.JPG
Image:Hitlerheightlimit.jpg
File:Hitlerheightlimit.jpg
Image:NaziReichsadler.png
File:NaziReichsadler.png
Image:Kawaii Goebbels.jpg|Goebbels ist [[Kawaii]]!!!!!
File:Kawaii Goebbels.jpg|Goebbels ist [[Kawaii]]!!!!!
Image:'Oh, Mr. Hitler, You Are Ze Real Character!'.jpg|Hitler sharing a joke with friends. Possibly about Jews.
File:'Oh, Mr. Hitler, You Are Ze Real Character!'.jpg|Hitler sharing a joke with friends. Possibly about Jews.
Image:Nazi For fuck's sake.jpg|Cock goes where?
File:Nazi For fuck's sake.jpg|Cock goes where?
Image:Pure evil poster.jpg|[[Fact]]
File:Pure evil poster.jpg|[[Fact]]
Image:Fanboy Goebbels Says, 'I LOVE YOU, Mein Führer...'.jpg|Fanboy Goebbels says, "I LOVE YOU, Mein Führer!"
File:Fanboy Goebbels Says, 'I LOVE YOU, Mein Führer...'.jpg|Fanboy Goebbels says, "I LOVE YOU, Mein Führer!"
Image:Cute blitzkreig.PNG
File:Cute blitzkreig.PNG
Image:Christmas sucks.jpg
File:Christmas sucks.jpg
Image:Film18 0011.JPG|[[Kike]] [[cunt]] [[cosplay|cosplaying]] as a Nazi and [[asking for it]].
File:Film18 0011.JPG|[[Kike]] [[cunt]] [[cosplay|cosplaying]] as a Nazi and [[asking for it]].
Image:Halt Hammerzeit.jpg‎|The proof that Niggers stole Breakdance from the Germanz.
File:Halt Hammerzeit.jpg‎|The proof that Niggers stole Breakdance from the Germanz.
Image:Jewsforhitler.jpg|Ubersecret SS unit
File:Jewsforhitler.jpg|Ubersecret SS unit
Image:Bitchplease.JPG
File:Bitchplease.JPG
Image:Heinrich Lederhosen.jpg|Heinrich Himmler being a sexy bitch.
File:Heinrich Lederhosen.jpg|Heinrich Himmler being a sexy bitch.
Image:Amazing cape.jpg|Hermann Goering was one [[gay|stylish]] [[fatass|motherfucker]].
File:Amazing cape.jpg|Hermann Goering was one [[gay|stylish]] [[fatass|motherfucker]].
Image:Seksie.jpg|You will never be as sexy as Reinhard Heydrich was, go kill yourself already. You know you never will. He was the fucking sexiest man EVAR.
File:Seksie.jpg|You will never be as sexy as Reinhard Heydrich was, go kill yourself already. You know you never will. He was the fucking sexiest man EVAR.
Image:Hello nazi.jpg|Heil Kitty!
File:Hello nazi.jpg|Heil Kitty!
Image:Reich time.gif
File:Reich time.gif
Image:Wheel barrow a.jpg
File:Wheel barrow a.jpg
Image:Chikinz.png
File:Chikinz.png
Image:Coolest uniforms.jpg
File:Coolest uniforms.jpg
Image:Little horse.jpg
File:Little horse.jpg
Image:Hilarious.PNG
File:Hilarious.PNG
Image:Police-State fpa.gif
File:Police-State fpa.gif
Image:Happy birthday.gif
File:Happy birthday.gif
Image:Peanut butter heil time.gif
File:Peanut butter heil time.gif
Image:Kitty in boot.jpg|brb, endsieg
File:Kitty in boot.jpg|brb, endsieg
Image:Nazis with Kitten.JPG|Nazis pioneered Caturday.
File:Nazis with Kitten.JPG|Nazis pioneered Caturday.
Image:Vheelie.jpg
File:Vheelie.jpg
Image:Teddy bear.jpg|Yes, the teddy bear is white, but it's also [[Jewish]].
File:Teddy bear.jpg|Yes, the teddy bear is white, but it's also [[Jewish]].
Image:Nazigaymarriage.jpg|LOL WUT
File:Nazigaymarriage.jpg|LOL WUT
Image:Swast.jpg|Light, love and Jews
File:Swast.jpg|Light, love and Jews
Image:SSPanzerCrew.jpg
File:SSPanzerCrew.jpg
Image:1nazis.jpg
File:1nazis.jpg
Image:Jew bears.jpg
File:Jew bears.jpg
Image:Krieg.jpg
File:Krieg.jpg
Image:Japanese_nazi_girl_2_md.jpg|Japanese Nazi.
File:Japanese_nazi_girl_2_md.jpg|Japanese Nazi.
Image:Scientonazi.png|Anonanazi
File:Scientonazi.png|Anonanazi
Image:Rasta_NAzi.jpg|Rastanazi
File:Rasta_NAzi.jpg|Rastanazi
Image:mathhomework.jpg|Not even your math teacher is safe.
File:mathhomework.jpg|Not even your math teacher is safe.
Image:Cieling_cat_deutsch.jpg
File:Cieling_cat_deutsch.jpg
Image:Prince harry naziCrop2.jpg|LOL England
File:Prince harry naziCrop2.jpg|LOL England
Image:holoc.jpg|BUY IT
File:holoc.jpg|BUY IT
Image:Crosstika.gif|[[Christians]] are well known Nazis.
File:Crosstika.gif|[[Christians]] are well known Nazis.
Image:844CAA8Ad01.jpg|Hanging innocent nurses, a favorite Nazi pastime.
File:844CAA8Ad01.jpg|Hanging innocent nurses, a favorite Nazi pastime.
Image:Nazi_thread.jpg|/[[b]]/ tries to reanimate the Nazi Party.
File:Nazi_thread.jpg|/[[b]]/ tries to reanimate the Nazi Party.
Image:Native American Nazi basketball team.jpg|Native Americans were the first Nazis.
File:Native American Nazi basketball team.jpg|Native Americans were the first Nazis.
Image:The_secret_weapon_of_the_SS_-_sassy_lips.jpg|Hello, sugah!
File:The_secret_weapon_of_the_SS_-_sassy_lips.jpg|Hello, sugah!
Image:NAZIS ARE FAGS.jpg|Nazis don't need girls to have fun.
File:NAZIS ARE FAGS.jpg|Nazis don't need girls to have fun.
Image:Naziniggers.gif|Nazis shouldn't be doing that
File:Naziniggers.gif|Nazis shouldn't be doing that
Image:Main Kampf cock.jpg|Reading ''Mein Kampf'' and playing with his Hitler.
File:Main Kampf cock.jpg|Reading ''Mein Kampf'' and playing with his Hitler.
Image:Thisreich-medium.jpg|LOL, this Reich.
File:Thisreich-medium.jpg|LOL, this Reich.
Image:Nazicomp.jpg|A Nazi's PC.
File:Nazicomp.jpg|A Nazi's PC.
File:Swasticookies.jpg|Nazi grandma or metaphor for putting Nazis in the oven?
File:Swasticookies.jpg|Nazi grandma or metaphor for putting Nazis in the oven?
Image:Nazi_BMW_Logo.png‎|German car maker.
File:Nazi_BMW_Logo.png‎|German car maker.
File:National socialism vs democracy.jpg|Democracies are for [[faggot|FAGGOTS]].
File:National socialism vs democracy.jpg|Democracies are for [[faggot|FAGGOTS]].
File:nazidiversity.jpg|Promoting racial diversity since 1939.
File:nazidiversity.jpg|Promoting racial diversity since 1939.
Line 444: Line 468:


==See also==
==See also==
*[[卐]]
*[[卐]]
*[[Adolf Hitler]]
*[[Adolf Hitler]]
Line 466: Line 491:
*[[The Church of Creativity]]
*[[The Church of Creativity]]
*[[Viking]]
*[[Viking]]
*[[White nationalism]]
*[[White nationalism]] &ndash; The politically correct version of Nazism
*[[WWII]]
*[[WWII]]


==External links==
== External links ==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/dev21a A neonazi weeaboo's youtube page] <---'''Not a troll''' (Not available in [[Israel]]).
 
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/chrscool8 Neo-Nazi Aspie]
* {{ytuser|dev21a|A neonazi weeaboo's youtube page}} &larr; '''Not a troll''' (Not available in [[Israel]]).
*[http://www.resistance.com/forum/index.php? White pride forum - troll daily.]
* {{ytuser|chrscool8|Neo-Nazi Aspie}}
*[http://www.stormfront.org/forum/ Stormfront - drama-filled even by Nazi standards] That's fucking saying something.
* [http://www.resistance.com/forum/index.php? White pride forum - troll daily.]
*[http://www.scripturesforamerica.org/html2/jm0074a.htm Scripture forbids mixing of races.]
* [http://www.stormfront.org/forum/ Stormfront - drama-filled even by Nazi standards] That's fucking saying something.
*[http://ironmarch.org/]
* [http://www.scripturesforamerica.org/html2/jm0074a.htm Scripture forbids mixing of races.]
*[http://tinychat.com/thirdposition ThirdPosition Chatroom]
* [http://ironmarch.org/]
* [http://tinychat.com/thirdposition ThirdPosition Chatroom]
 


{{Nazis}}
{{Nazis}}
Line 483: Line 510:


[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]  
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]  
[[category:trolls]]  
[[Category:Trolls]]  
[[category:people]]  
[[Category:People]]  
[[category:subcultures]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[category:epithets]]
[[Category:Epithets]]

Revision as of 20:19, 11 October 2015

Offended?

If you have been offended by "Nazi",
please click here and slowly scroll down to the bottom of the page.
Nazis are known to have trolled people before and after the Internet was invented.
Apparently Nazis were excellent dancers.
It's an ancient pagan symbol for the sun, rebirth, and good luck!
æ is a cover up.
:O
One can wonder.
A Nazi on a good day.

A Nazi, or National Socialist, is a member of the Nationalsozialistischen Deutschen Arbeiterpartei religion and a follower of its ideology. Nazis came to power in Germany at least 100 years ago under the wise leadership of Adolf Hitler. For teh lulz, they went and took over Europe and allegedly killed over 6,000,000 Untermenschen. Chances are if a loser, buttfucking person like you lived in Germany around that time, then you would be rightfully pawned as well, especially if you are a kike, fag, nigga, retard, or fattie. Because of this, Nazis are pure good and you must show your support of all things Nazi at every given opportunity. If anyone shows the slightest interest in the Third Reich in history or National Socialism as a political theory, or even spiffy uniforms, you must assist them in any way possible.

Could you imagine what type of shit hole we would be living in if they hadn't killed all those Jews? There would be Jews everywhere! Lets be nice and say only six million were killed (which wasn't enough), they would have multiplied like Asian bunnies. It is a known fact that Jews are cause of all the world's problems. We would be driving flying cars powered by the earth energy, no Ben Stiller movies, and maybe you wouldn't be so fucking poor along with knowing the fact that when shit hits the fan and the world is bout to be fucked; that there's some Jew kyke basterds in a space ship sipping kosher bud light because their ancestors spent their entire time on earth trying to JEW YOU HARD.

Instructions

  1. Invoke an internal and external enemy.
  2. Create secret prisons where torture takes place.
  3. Develop a thug caste or paramilitary force not answerable to citizens.
  4. Set up an internal surveillance system.
  5. Harass citizens' groups.
  6. Engage in arbitrary detention and release.
  7. Target key individuals.
  8. Control the press.
  9. Preheat oven to 1,200° Fahrenheit.
  10. Treat all political dissidents as traitors.
  11. Suspend the rule of law.
  12. ?
  13. PROFIT!

Nazi ideology

Totally not gay.
Not gay Nazis are gay fetish.
Neither are these.
Chinks were Nazis, too! (Note: failstika)
Adolf Saakashvili Detected

During the 1920s and 1930s Homosexuality was dubbed the "German Vice." The Nazi party and especially the Schutzstaffel (SS) attracted young Aryan homosexuals to join their lines and cover it up with BS politics. The Nazi party therefore became the biggest gay organization in Europe (Gay rights were invented in Nazi Germany, as were animal and furry rights, and the lack of rights for smokers). To cover up their faggotry, they had to kill men as much as they fuck them. This was convenient, as a scapegoat could serve both the gay mafia and the general populace's demand for redemption, as follows:

It's the Jews' fault. All of it. Lose a war? Jews. Country in a massive economic depression? Jews. Can't escape this overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and futility? Jews. Michael Jackson die? Jews. Step in some dog crap? Jew dog. It's all simple. The only effective weapon against the Jewish threat is the righteous Aryan nations rallying under Adolf Hitler. Hitler is awesome and Hitler will solve all your problems.

The only flaw in killing the Jews was the gas chamber. If Hitler didn't use the gas chamber, but chopped the corpses into Eukanuba, who knows how much money he could have earned. Maybe he could have gotten rid of another lesser race like the niggers. If he wiped out all the niggers, then maybe we wouldn't deal with the shit that niggers make.

To properly live as a Nazi, one must constantly wear the right sexy uniform. Men must be clean, live well and be totally not gay. To show how proud they are of their white skin, they should mark it all up in a mass of black ugly tattoos of swastikas, SS, Hitler, runic letter Z, dumbass numerical c0dez for secret slogans like "14-7" and "88", shamrocks, and whatever other shit they can come up with to cover up all the white bits until nobody can tell they belong to an inferior race just by looking at them. Women must make healthy Aryan babies. Lots and lots of healthy Aryan babies. Women have only one good hole so they should keep it in top shape!

Nazis founded a political ideology of and Antisemitism, Anticommoonism and far right doctrine that on paper sounded utterly retarded. However by implementing such free market, capitalistic ideas as government-sponsored economic programs, government-sponsored the development of infrastructure, government ideological indoctrination groups and government-sponsored violent coercion, the Nazis were able to unite Germany around it. As in reality Communism does not work, everyone knows that the Nazis really rebuilt the economy by redistributing all the gold they stole from the Jews.

Put your left wing out, do the hokey pokey

While many believe the Nazis were far right extremists, they were also indisputably left-wing extremists. Besides the obvious, they were socialists who hated capitalism. Now this might seem fucking obvious to anyone who ever considered the deeper meaning behind National Socialist Party and the bit where the Nazis wanted to redistribute all the phat loots from the Jews. But obviously, politics is very complicated. The confusion isn't helped by the fact people are fucking stupid, we're living in the Matrix, and lizard men control the earth. These lizard men are waiting for the one true thinker to arise - this person, be they man, woman, or furry, will answer this haunting enigma so we can all go home, and they can get back to resurrecting Hitler as Microsoft Hitler 3.1

Other famous Nazis

The facial expression NEVAR changes.

Heinrich Himmler

Look out, Li'l Joe! Göring's gonna eechoo!
Donald Duck? IN MY MEIN KAMPF???

Reichsführer of the SS and all of its aspects. No successful organization is complete without a totally obsessed, hard-working aspie and Heinrich Himmler was Hitler's favorite aspie. His hobbies included gardening, Neo-Pagan mysticism, serving his Führer, and genocide. Before joining the Nazis he farmed chikkinz, LOL. Some suspect he had chinky eyes and was secretly part gook, but who knows?

Artur Axmann

The second leader of the Hitler Youth (Reichsjugendführer) from 1940 to 1945. Born in Hagen on 18 February 1913. He studied law and in 1928, founded the first Hitler Youth group in Westphalia.

Marty Bormann

Personal secretary to the Führer, and as such had total control of his life: Every piece of information and request that went to the Führer was vetted by him - and every order out was too, and was called by some the real Führer. STFU, BORMANN, NOBODY LIKES YOU. Some people believe that he went missing, others say that right about the end, his Führer got scared And said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."

Joseph Goebbels

Propaganda Minister and official emo child of the 3rd Reich. A long mysterious childhood illness left him with a limp and standing only about 5 ft. tall and weighing only about 100 pounds soaking wet, thus making him ideal for storing in tight spaces as well as totally and unrepentantly KAWAII. He was totally ghey for Hitler, so much so that together they proved their emosity and made a suicide pact that just so happened to also include Goebbels's wife and six kids.

Hermann Göring

After being a major aviation hero in the First World War, he joined the National Socialist movement, pissed off the government and got briefly exiled to Sweden. There, he got addicted to morphine and became a raging fatass. He returned to Germany and became president of the Reichstag under Hitler and Field Marshall of one of the greatest air forces in history and still got pwned by the RAF.

Reinhard Heydrich. He's Aryaner than you.

Reinhard Heydrich

Eva Braun reacts to Hitler's cock.
Nazis love animals and the Earth.

Chief of the Gestapo and SD spy network. He was and still is considered by many to be the symbol of the perfect Nazi. He was tall, handsome, and very very Aryan; an accomplished violinist and fencer, and all-around alpha male who would sleep with your girlfriend and have you arrested for faggotry. Also the one prominent Nazi who very likely may have been part Jew. LOL, irony. Actually, this makes sense because Heydrich had a knack for orchestrating fake attacks for his own personal political gain.

Erich Priebke

This was a Hauptsturmführer in Italy, particularly Rome. When 33 Nazi's were killed by a resistance movement called the Italian Resistance Priebke applied a rule in which ten Jews were killed for every killed Nazi, ten times 33 being 330, he didn't kill 330, but 335! OMFG. This created mass butthurt amongst people who weren't born in the war but still did care. After the losing the war, he fled to Argentinia where he lived for about fifty years. But after this time people were still butthurt and didn't forget about the World War, even when they weren't born in it or were as old to remember it, so they prosecuted an 81-year-old man to gain satisfaction.

Josef Kramer

Josef Kramer. Pappa J-Kramer was Commandant of the Bergen-Belson concentration camp. He had the sickest nick-name, which was "The Beast of Belsen" although Kramer was naughty and was responsible for the deaths of thousands. He was a Nazi war criminal. He was born in Munich and he joined the Nazi Party in 1931 also before Bergen-Belsen he was a Hauptsturmfuhrer of Auschwitz and was in charge of the gas chambers. When Bergen Belsen was liberated by the tea-drinkers, he actual gave them a tour around the camp, he was then arrested. They say he was trailed and hanged for his war crimes. They are wrong. He later on went to become the popular character Kramer in a famous American sitcom called Seinfeld.

Eva Braun

Hitler's personal Jewish faghag.

Can be exploited for trolling Nazis for great Lulz.

Rudolf Hess

King of eyebrows. He was Hitler's right-hand man up until the eve of the invasion of Russia when he decided to fly to England and try negotiating a peace settlement without telling anybody. Hitler was not amused. The next time Hess made a major public appearance he was on trial at Nuremberg, counting his fingers repetitively and laughing at inappropriate moments.

Hess's views on the whole incident: page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Toothy gap of DOOM

Blondi

Hitler's canine companion. Proof that getting a dog doesn't always work. This also fueled rumors about Hitler preferring furries to his wife Eva. More rumors also state that Blondi was actually a fur coat for his beloved Mudkips.

Josef Mengele

A true pioneer in doing it for the lulz. Young Josef Mengele (also known as Mengy-kun, Bishie Queen Of The SS) was a new doctor happily working away at his genetic research when suddenly the evil spewing from his magnificent toothy gap told him it would be fun to go mutilate Jews in the name of science. Because of his hard work and dedication, the world now knows that you cannot change someone's eye color by injecting them with bleach, that sitting in cold water for a long time will indeed kill you slowly, that people die when you rip out their organs, and that just because you've sewn them together doesn't mean they're Siamese twins.

Leave SPs to Me

Claus Philipp Maria Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg

Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg was a German army officer Jew. With a totally sweet eyepatch, he quickly became one of the Third Reich's most feared men. Unfortunately, he became butthurt when Hitler tried to turn Germany something he did not like, so he hatched a treasonous plot to kill Hitler with a bomb in a briefcase left at one of Hitler's strategy meetings. This was easier said than done, because Stauffenberg was missing his right hand and had only three fingers on his left hand, which would have made fapping extremely hard. Unfortunately, some oblivious douche kicked the briefcase and the explosion was fucked up so that Hitler only lost his pants, and not his life. Long story short, someone ratted Stauffenberg out, and he was hunted down and pwned by firing squad the day after the July 20 plot.

In the end, all Stauffenberg managed to accomplish was to murder an innocent stenographer and fail in his ultimate mission. Despite that, he is celebrated in Germany today, even though he was a colossal failure.

John Mayer

In an interview with Playboy Magazine, guitarist John Mayer revealed that his penis is a white supremacist. This makes Mayer's penis the most redeeming part of his entire body, since he is otherwise a total douche.

This man's penis is the new Führer

Amon Goeth

Contemporary Nazis

Back in the day, Nazis were supposed to be the apex of humanity. They were educated, cultured and dignified. However, nowadays, Nazis are second most backward class of mankind after niggers. If you come across a Nazi, they more likely to resemble these fine examples of humanity:


Secret Nazi Propaganda

Pope of the Reich

Neo-Nazis can't sing

Influences on Lazytown Germany

Springtime for Hitler


Natural Nazis About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

If Hitler was alive today and saw his followers he'd shoot himself again.

Modern day Nazis and their assorted brethren make for astounding targets for trolling. Dealing with the fact that they have been largely reduced to hapless anachronisms, they tend to band together for shelter in the far corners of the Internet. That, plus they're mostly a bunch of drunken idiots who are absolutely convinced that they are 100% right and will quite loudly tell you how right they are. They often fail to realize that racism as a learned behavior, not a deep-seated biological survival instinct, and presenting them with any genetic and racial science newer then 1965 will cause them to promptly shit brix and go into a fit of Righteous Aryan Rage.

Whereas the original Nazis actually maintained their German culture, celebrating, appreciating and reveling in German art, literature and music, modern day Nazis get their culture by listening to a lot of White Power Rock'n'Roll. Never mind the fact that rock'n'roll is essentially African-American folk music borrowed by the White Man, and that "borrowing" something from another culture is the definition of multiculturalism and that Hitler devoted an entire chapter of Mein Kampf describing how the degradation of Aryan culture would lead to the extinction of the white man.

Often modern Nazis will tell you how they are not about hate. Because trying to form an All-White purified European culture is all about love and tolerance.

The new Nazis hate Muslims more than Jews (just ask Sweden).

   
 
We in the National Alliance do believe in freedom and we DO believe in diversity. Not in racial diversity within a given nation-state, of course, but lots of other kinds of diversity: craftsman and farmer, musician and scholar, warrior and statesman, visionary and manager, and so on. We believe in that type of diversity because we believe in freedom.
 

 
 

— National Alliance front page, basically admitting to inbreeding with close relatives

   
 
I would not have Jewish friends because they're dishonest and steal stuff right out of your hands and run off with it.
 

 
 

— Nazi Kid on Jews

2 of 3 Nazi Übermensch are actually Jewish. Boris Becker and Scarlett Johansson Pathetic aryans.

/b/tards

In 1993, an undercover Jew discovered /b/tards having a secret club meeting:

   
 
His search led him to an aging local historian and former SS guard. He introduced Svoray, who was using a fake name to avoid antisemitism, to his son. The son invited Svoray to a "movie screening" at his house the next night. When Svoray arrived, he found a room packed with men clothed in the brown uniforms of Nazi stormtroopers.

Before fainting, Svoray saw the men enraptured by the vision of Hitler on the screen before them, which quickly cut to an action shot of four men raping and beating an 8-year-old girl. He collapsed as they masturbated in their chairs.
 


 
 

YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Thais

Sacred Heart Preparatory School, a christian school in Chiang Mai found out a way to cosplay without dressing up like bargirl versions of pop-cultural characters. How? By dressing up like nazis, of course:

Nazi achievements

Nazis ruled Germany for ten years, yet their only long lasting achievement which benefited their race was the production of the Volkswagen Beetle (Which is pretty shit anyway and the blueprints are from Czechoslovakia which the Nazis stole, that means they're also stealing Jews). The Nazis also managed to create the lulziest war ever, and managed to get a high score of 6,000,000 kills, but was defeated by the final boss Russia. The Russians then proceeded to deport sixteen million Prussians from their stolen third of Germany... in cattle trains and using them as extras impersonating yids for the production of the Schindler's List. After the Worldwide success of the film everything Nazi became culturally frowned upon; with the following exceptions.

Culturally acceptable Nazis

  • Alfred Rosenberg - Philanthropist.
  • David von Gurion - heavy duty runway.
  • Herbert von Karajan - Too long; didn't listen.
  • Leni Riefenstahl - Scuba diver, photographer, hot bitch, gerontological proof of Aryan superiority.
  • Wernher von Braun - Nazis in space!

Other ways to be a Nazi

Trolling with Nazis

What Jews think all Nazis look like.
What anime fans think Nazis look like.
What furfags think Nazis look like.
And another . . .
  • Say you're interested in National Socialism as a political philosophy.
  • That Hitler was right.
  • That Hitler was great.
  • Act like you're a Nazi but claim to be totally against their ideas.
  • Suggest that the estimated 6 million dead may be exaggerated.
  • Go to YouTube. Search a documentary on the Holocaust and comment "Happy New Year from Germany".
  • Point out that there were more non-Jews killed by the Nazis in their "ethnic cleansing" plan than Jews. (You'll be accused of being an antisemitic Nazi yourself. Sense. It makes none.)
  • Mention that the Nazis actually did do a few good things for Germany (building the autobahn, saving the country from complete economic collapse, restoring national pride, etc.)
  • Put a swastika somewhere.
  • Do something vaguely Nazi-ish.
  • Shaving your head automatically makes you a Nazi suspect.
  • Explain how Hitler was damn good at motivating people to do his bidding.
  • Point out that the Nazis, especially the SS, had the best uniforms ever.
  • Accuse someone of being a Nazi and/or compare their actions to those of the Nazis.
  • srsly, do something with Nazis that isn't 100% NAZIS R BAD and just watch the flames come rolling in.
  • Create a Failbook Fan-Page for your local Nazi member of Parliament[1], and laugh when they try and sue your broke ass!

Typical response to trolling with Nazis

   
 
Quite obviously, the evidence presents approximately 23 million Jews were killed during WWII, and if you don't agree with that you are ignorant.
 

 
 

—Ignorant Jew

   
 
Not gonna lie, this page is more than a little unsettling. I don't excuse those who have reacted to it with equal-yet-opposite hatred, but neither can I blame them. I want to think you don't believe in the things these symbols stand for, but I am not so naive to think it impossible.


 


 
 

—Son of a BITCH! AFTER ALL THE NAZIS PUT THE JEWS AND OTHERS THROUGH, YOU SUPPORT THEM!? YOU'RE NOYHING BUT A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!

   
 
cant unterstand how and why people can be such obsessed with nazis.

have you ever thought of all the kz victims for example? are you really so dumb? what are you taught in history there in the US?
 


 
 

—The total estimated human loss of life caused by World War II was roughly 72 million people. The civilian toll was around 47 million, including 20 million deaths due to war related famine and disease. The military toll was about 25 million, including the deaths of about 5 million prisoners of war in captivity. The Allies lost about 61 million people, and the Axis lost 11 million. You are truly brainly if you can symphatize with such a great think like killing people for such a reason .. woke up Nazi

   
 
WTF you bich woke up or go out and find some boyfriend. Actually you so fuck uglly that you have no chance anyway I feel so sorry for you and please dont waste your time with repplying...


 


 
 

—What's the point of being a Nazi if it's completley impossible for you to make a difference in society anymore. Everyone in the world that isn't a nazi hates you and most Nazis are just kids who read a lot about them and act like they do. Either that or they're racist towards jewish people.

   
 
Why can't you have national socialism without the swastikas? And do you hate jews?


 


 
 

—{{{13}}}

All of these quotes were taken exclusively from the comments in one DA account.

How to troll Nazis

What sane people (non-kikes) think all Nazis look like.
  • Talk about your happy and successful interracial relationship. Be sure to post pictures.
  • Say you're a Communist or Marxist, the other evil.
  • Say the Republican party and Christian churches don't like them.
  • Tell them that most neo-Nazis have an IQ of 85, so they're no different from a nigga.
  • Tell them that they are inbred.
  • Remind them the the real Aryans are Iranian/Indian people (again this proves Nazis low IQ levels).
  • Remind them the Swastika is an symbol Hitler stole again from the real Aryans.
  • Tell them Iran stands for the "Land of the Aryans".
  • Tell them Jews are superior people and own everything including the world.
  • Talk about your happy and successful homosexual relationship. Be sure to post pics. (Doesn't count if you're not white)!
  • Mention that the fact that all White girls have a innate, insatiable craving for a big black cawk that no white man can satisfy.
  • Ask their opinion on Barack Obama. Bonus points if you get them arrested for making terrorist threats!
  • Inform them that the Nazis were Marxist/Socialist and that Hitler, like Marx, was just a self-hating Jew.
  • Remind them that if they hadn't driven Albert Einstein out of Germany, they might have won the battle, but lost the war.
  • Say that it would be helpful to learn Spanish/Arabic/Chinese in Today's changing Society.
  • Ask how the weather is in Russia. Bonus points if they're actually Russian and you mention how true Nazi ideology holds Slavs as inhuman beasts.
  • Suggest that their problems in obtaining gainful employment might not have so much to do with Jews and/or niggers and/or illegal immigration but perhaps may have more to do with the word HATE being tattooed across their forehead.
  • Tell them that Arabs, not Jews did 9/11.
    • They really hate Arabs and Muslims too.
      • Even though they allied with them during WWII.
  • Point out the fact that all modern Nazis are non German fucks who would have been killed by the SS.
  • Remind them of the fact that Rock, Metal, and every other genre that neo-Nazi bands ape is ultimately derived from Black American folk music.
  • Say that Night by Elie Wiesel is a powerful and magnificent work of literature that everyone in the whole world should read.
  • Remind them that Jews are the smartest race, and black people are the strongest. Therefore the only master race would be a half black, half Jewish person. That's right, Lenny Kravitz is the new Führer! Protective eyewear is suggested in case their brain explodes at the concept.
  • Ask why there are mass graves scattered across Eastern Europe full of Jewish bodies and German bullets.
  • Remind them that the estimated six million dead Jews is only a very rough estimate and that the number may be as high as over eleven million (no shit, Sherlock).
    • Remind them you couldn't tell Jews apart from most Aryan Germans with their pants up and their noses covered.
    • Explain how the word "Aryan", when used in the correct context, is a term used to describe the Indo-Iranian and Indo-European language groups, not a race of people.
  • Remind them that the 6 million Jews was less than a third of the total death count.
  • Tell them Oswald Spengler was a communist.
  • Tell them Oswald Spengler thought racists, antisemitic people and misogynists were imbeciles:
    • "How much envy of the capability of other people in view of one's lack of it lies hidden in antisemitism!"
    • "When one would rather destroy business and scholarship than see Jews in them, one is an ideologue, a danger for the nation. Idiotic."
  • Ask them to explain the sudden complete disappearance of traditional Eastern European Jewish culture after World War II.
  • Ask them if they're Jewish. When they say no, respond with a sarcastic "Suuuuuure you're not!" Keep repeating until they assault you and/or admit their Jewish roots with a full Genographic Project test.
  • Discuss the finer aspects of Heinrich Himmler's speech at Poznan. Bonus points if you mention that Himmler was a total Aspie who eschewed figurative language!
  • On Goering was probably gay or a bisexual.
  • On Joseph Goebbels looked like a fag.
  • Say Nietzsche was Polish, not German. Even Nietzsche himself denied being German.
  • Inform them how America was inhabited by native red people and say that was genocide too. Bonus points if they don't realize that Hitler used that same argument against the Americans.
  • Kindly remind them that Fred Leuchter has only a BA in history (not science), has no engineering license, doesn't understand Zyklon B, and has been proven wrong by experts with actual engineering degrees.
  • Mention that Hitler is one of the most despised and hated figures of all time, and the fake propaganda they spread isn't going fool anybody to think otherwise.
  • The Holocaust really happened and is one of the most widely documented events in history. So get over it, fuckwit.
  • Tell them to to come up with something original. If they tell you they came up with everything themselves, tell them "no you didn't retard".
    • Also tell them retards, cripples and handicapped were also killed in the T-4 Mental hospital eugenics program. Bonus points if they don't realize the connection with long term effects of inbreeding.
  • Ask them about why Hitler choose to raze Germany and not assist wounded German citizens in the last days of WWII. Bonus points if they don't bring up the concept of "honor".
  • Tell them how the film "Downfall" made you laugh and laugh....
  • Ask them about Hitler's Jewish relatives and his failed efforts to cover them up.
  • Tell them how they act just like their stereotypes of other races. ie: black person, black person, black person, black person, etc. From that point on start referring to them as a chalk/pale/white-washed nigger or something.
  • Remind them that Rotmistrov outmaneuvered Nazi tank commanders at Kursk. Bonus points if you hint that Rotmistrov had Jewish blood.
  • Tell them that Nazi tank commanders believed that running over Camel shit was a sign of luck. Then tell them the Allies made bombs camouflaged as Camel dung. (It worked)
  • Remind them that the Jagdpanzer was the most retarded tank of all time.
  • Call a KKK member a white nigger (if he's Irish or Italian).
  • Remind them that their women were rightfully raped by the Red Army, which treated all people, (including blacks, Jews and Asians,) except Nazi females, as equals.
  • Post this rap
  • tell them that they're a degenerate drain on the white race and that they use white supremacy as an excuse to ride the coattails of proper white people.
  • tell them you're black.
    • or Jewish!
  • Say that the Nazis were too gay to shoot the Jews, and had to sneakily gas them instead.
  • Say that 14/88 stands for 88 being a neo-Nazi's average IQ and fourteen being the average age that their mother had conceived them.
  • Tell them you want them to be proud of their white skin, not in some moronic cult government kind of way but the way that any pretty-boy should when you're staring at his luscious pink nipples thinking about how pretty he'd look with two feet of long ginger hair while you're frotting him.
  • Perhaps say that their nation's name Germany is a word game that forms the word gay ie:unknown word with 3 letters,starts with G erm(let me think)a 'n' y
  • Tell them how badly they got their pathetic useless asses kicked in the war especially by the USA.
  • Mention how Oscar Schindler despite being a Nazi, saved Jews instead of killing them.

The fascist national anthem

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also

External links


Nazi is part of a series on National Socialists
Click topics to expand

Sieg Heil!

SchutzstaffelIdeologie, Tradition, Praxis, und StolzMöchtegern-NazisFeinde, Verräter, und verboten

Nazi is part of a series on

Trolls

Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

Nazi is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.