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Atlus: Difference between revisions
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However, it should be noted that [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|Atlus America does not actually develop games, but they are more of a localization service, translating games from many developers into]] [[English]]. | However, it should be noted that [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|Atlus America does not actually develop games, but they are more of a localization service, translating games from many developers into]] [[English]]. | ||
==Persona == | ==Persona == |
Revision as of 18:04, 18 August 2022
Atlus is a Japanese game company known for making games that require actual brainpower to beat. If you suck shit at thinking then your best bet is to grind until you can press X to win like in Soul Calibur. Their fans are even more pathetic than Warcrack addicts, because unlike an MMO, Atlus games have no potential for even online social interaction to occur.
However, it should be noted that Atlus America does not actually develop games, but they are more of a localization service, translating games from many developers into English.
Persona
Persona 1
This game got a shit of the earth Americunt translation. The city you're in is totally fucked, courtesy of a smug guy in a suit named Takihisa Kandori, who mindraeps a flatchested bitch to become a god and troll your asshat friend Nanjou in the process. However, it seems Kandori realized trolling the world until there is nothing left to troll is boring, so he basically is about to become an Hero before Nanjou pisses him off and he turns into Buddha on acid. Thankfully, for a god he's a complete pussy whom Nanjou can cap in the head with a sniper rifle.
Persona 2 Innocent Sin
A bunch of emo kids, which include a gay wannabe rocker, a gay (no, srsly) main character who nonetheless gets a ton of women pining for him anyway, and his bishounen fag hag get mindraped by Philemon (the pedophile from the first game, who apparently already mindfucked them as kids and has come back for seconds), and they wind up trying to find a bad ripoff of the Joker. Oh and somehow Hitler survived WW2 and you gets to fight him and his nazi army. Hitler ironically wields the spear that killed jesus as well as having a persona that resembles tentacle Raep.
Roll credits.
Persona 2 Eternal Punishment
A unnecessary sequel that involves Shit no one cares about which happens.
Roll credits.
Persona 3
You play as an suicidal edgelord whose parents died in a typical Japanese truck accident. You can only fight during the "Dark Hour". The rest is spent trying to fuck schoolgirls. Basically a fucking dungeon crawler/dating sim for grown men who cant get laid by real life girlfriends. Got an M rating to much drama due to the fact that the game literally requires you to an hero in order to summon your Pokemon. Atlus decided it would be too much work to create individual dungeons, so they put them all into one fucking tower. Enjoy grinding through 90+ levels of the same thing. Everyone wanted to fuck Akihiko and was disappointed that you could not be gay even though Akihiko is clearly a closet homosexual for MC's blue-haired emo asshole.
Roll credits.
Persona 3 Portable
You can fuck Akihiko in this game.
Fuck bitches, get money. You play as a Japanese pretty boy with a bowl cut and a glasses fetish. Dungeons are in TVs this time. Your party consists of a a horny Japanese Inn girl stereotype with a red headband, Misa Amane, Velma, a reverse trap designed with the purpose of making male gamers gay, a furry, a closet gay guy and that other kid that nobody cares about.
Persona 4: The Golden
A Jewgold generating technique that Fatlus came up with. All it did was adding a Mary sue bitch named Marie whose purpose is to being bitch as much as possible, and write shitty poems.
Persona 4: Arena
Rip-off Street Fighter fighting game Atlus made to get moar money from weebs because it features characters from 3 and 4. Also just proves Akihiko is canonically gay for Kanji.
Persona Q
Same reason Persona 4: Arena was made.
—ATLUS |
Persona 5
Basically you play as emo Harry Potter who does a magical girl transformation into a Tuxedo Mask Cosplay. Catwoman and Felix the Cat fight alongside you. Along the way you also recruit a homeless asexual artist, a brunette who’s fucking emo Harry Potter, Splatoon girl who’s also asexual, Light Yagami, and two other characters no gives a shit about.
Shin Megami Tensei
Seeing as how you can kill God in this game, it's perfect troll material for Christfag gamers. Just go to any Christian gaming board and recommend it to someone looking for a new RPG to play. Don't spoil the plot for them, it's funnier if they find out themselves.
Shin Megami Tensei I:
You play the role of just an average guy fapping to porn on the Internet. Then you get a popup telling you that you can summon demons through the computer. Common sense would have told you not to click popups, but you're an idiot. After fucking up the world, you're now a patsy stuck in a war between God and Lucifer. Sucks to be you.
However you get three options, titled Law (i.e. - for Christfags) Chaos (i.e. - for Christfag haters) and Neutral (who those who think the first two options suck more dick than a gay blowjob contest)
The second game goes on the assumption you trolled the Law and Chaos sides by killing their leaders, leaving both Lucifer and God a picture of your ass with "Kiss This" written on it in magic marker, then you pimp walked out of their headquarters to head off into the sunset so you could fuck your girlfriend.
Shin Megami Tensei II:
Set 30 years after the first game, you are an amnesiac gladiator who becomes a bitch for the Christfags.Then you go and beat YHVH or something like that after getting tired of the christfags. Turns out you actually beat up a Xerox of YHVH's asshole, and you are soon given a choice like the first game to side with Law, Chaos, or go Neutral. All endings are equally shitty.
Shin Megami Tensei IF: The only game in the series that Weeaboos have not played due noone ever translating it which is ironic because The premise and plot sounds more interesting and better than some of the other shit atlus has made. You play as a Girl named Tamaki Uchida who has her school infested with demons due some Butthurt Faggot named Hazama getting bullied making him do columbine with demons. Also Tamaki is a NPC in Persona 1.
Shin Megami Tensei III:
Called "Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne" in the US because the first two games were never shipped to the weeaboos, this game is a little different in that you aren't an average guy fapping to porn, you're some mute kid who has a rich bitch for a girlfriend, are friends with some guy who yiffs his hat, and your teacher wants to fuck you in a hospital.
Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey
This game is a little different. You play as a bad space marine ripoff who gets made the personal bitch of a computer camera addon named Arthur who tell you investigate the Schwarzvelt, which is German for "dark world", and considering most of it represents the mental processes of the average weeaboo masturbating to furry porn, that's actually a pretty accurate name.
Regardless, much like the earlier games you have three endings:
Law: Force the entire world to suck the dick of the God of Law for eternity via having a Lady Gaga knockoff hypnotize them into it.
Chaos: Help some black guy who merged with Goatse turn the world into hell.
Neutral: Kill the black guy and Lady Gaga impersonator, then punch a baby to death and go back to a world that's pretty much as shitty as Oh Internet.
Shin Megami Tensei: IMAGINE
A shitty MMORPG. The game's 2-hour storyline takes place between the events of SMT 1 and 2... or something. You play as a demon summoner like you do in every other fucking SMT game
The game's community is filled with retarded, egotistic bitches who make themselves believe that this is the bestest game evar when, in fact, it has enough content to make your mother get tired of the monotony and go back to Farmville because it has more content than this piece of shit waste of internets.
Digital Devil Saga
Digital Devil Saga 1:
This game takes place in a really fucked up world called the Junkyard, where everyone dances to the will of upside down naked albino people strapped to a machine. [1] Amidst being pleasured to new heights of ecstacy, they tell the asstards that they must ascend the obligatory Shin Megami Tensei tower to reach Nirvana. One day a Lazer descends from the heavens and causes everyone to OM NOM NOM each other. It is said that every time Fatlus OM NOM NOMZ another enemy, he gains OVER 9000 MOAR pounds.
Digital Devil Saga 2:
You wind up on a version of Earth where everyone is hard up (literally, OVER 9000 people are turned to stone), some assholes imported from North Korea eat everyone they don't shoot, and the good guys are led by a drunk. Eventually, one of your buddies turns on you during the course of the game, so you have to kill him while trying to deal with the fact your mom had a cock and the girl your main character has been popping a boner over is actually your sister.
Well, you eventually get over this, fuse with her into one being, become a shemale, and then you all die, reunite with the traitor who wanted to eat out your sister's pussy inside the fucking Sun (no, srsly), then you beat the shit out of God so he'll quit showing the world pictures of Goatse.
Devil Survivor 1:
A Pokemon ripoff, except you get to beat the shit out of demons and people with stuff that looks less like squealing kid friendly electric rats and more like something you might actually shit yourself over. Unfortunately, it still looks like the ejaculate of an animu fan anyway.
Disgaea
Gameplay consists of killing the same fucking penguin millions of times in hopes of finally leveling up enough to advance the plot (which will never happen). Despite being on the PS3,the graphics resemble what you would find on Habbo Hotel. It also houses over 9000 kids who think they are otherkin. Prime example would be adventxangel. He is the real Laharl! News flash! He's 24 years old and trolls people's comment boxes! Another Disgaea worshipper is Liubaio. He faps off to Disgaea 24/7, but is rather unfunny. He does get butthurt alot and can't defend himself well. His modding skills are piss poor. That's because he has raped over 9000 penguins in the process. Like Capcom with Devil May Cry, they thought that the series was so awesome, that it was completely necessary to make an anime out of it. Like Devil May cry, it barley has more than 10 episodes which involves nothing but lame and unfunny jokes that makes disney channel shows more desirable. The only difference between the 2 is that Dante from devil may cry does nothing but eat pizza, and Laharl from Disgaea is a skinny pussy that thinks his lame shorts and shoes are 1337. But they both have a too good-for-you attitude.
Trauma Center
Trauma Center is a game developed for the Nintendo DS and Wii. This game provides a realistic portrayal of surgery, in which the player is required to perform tasks seen by everyday surgeons such as removing tumors, disarming bombs lodged in their patients' anal cavity, drawing the pentagram to slow down time and removing indestructible spider webs created by mutant-superviruses from their patients' hearts.
Baroque
Basically too deep4you plot with shitty gameplay. Has multiple ending that takes 4ever to get. The only thing good about it is the shitty spin off game that the developer made when they were high. Basically you play as a nude baby angel shooting shit up, but is a time attack game so you only gets to play for 60 sec lol BUY THE REAL VERSION! ATLUS NEEDS YOUR MONEY.
Videos
Gallery
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Typical Best Buy shopping experience.
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You are already fat
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Fatlus does not like Family Guy
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Fatlus is the final boss in Shadow of the Colossus
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Maybe it's not that bad
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10/10 compared to most fanboys
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JAPAN IS SUPERIOR
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Nihon stronk desu ne
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Decisions, decisions...
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They're not so different after all...
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Atlus games can even turn a starving black person into a fat weeaboo
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A typical Atlus fan on the way to Gamestop.
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Fatlus attempts to play Halo.
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Beware the Fatlus.
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Atlus wants you to an hero
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YOU JUST DON'T GET IT
See Also
Atlus is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |