Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/February 29, 2024: Difference between revisions
imported>The PolishPrince Created page with " {{AOTN|Final Fantasy VII Remake|Ff7 cloud in drag.jpg| Final Fantasy VII Remake is to the ancient nostalgia fags looking to relive those teen years they lost..." |
imported>CrackRabbit No edit summary |
||
| (One intermediate revision by one other user not shown) | |||
| Line 2: | Line 2: | ||
{{AOTN|Final Fantasy VII Remake|Ff7 cloud in drag.jpg| | {{AOTN|Final Fantasy VII Remake|Ff7 cloud in drag.jpg| | ||
Final Fantasy VII Remake is | '''Final Fantasy VII Remake''' is a game made for the ancient [[retro|nostalgia fags]] looking to relive those [[teen]] years they lost some 60 years ago as a skinny little [[pedophile]], and also marketed to a bunch of [[murder]] hungry [[prison]]ers looking for something to beat on just to pass the [[time]] and make their "today" appear different from the last [[Over 9000|couple thousand]] they have already served out. | ||
The original is mostly known for making players [[Crybaby|cry]] | The original is mostly known for making players [[Crybaby|cry]] into their pillow until [[your mom|their mommies]] took their asses to counseling; Because of trauma from [[Death|Aerith]] getting the big ol' [[banhammer]] from 🔯[[Jew|Sephiroth]]🔯 and didn't come back to [[life]] like they had expected. '''Remake''' is meant to be a retelling of [[old|the same old story]] that works to open it up more by making [[you|forgettable]] minor characters like [[Star Wars|Biggs and Wedge]] into more relevant ones and that are, at least, necessary for the plot to advance or, for the more [[Asshole|cynical]], a way for corporations to get gamers to dish out [[Jew Gold|Shekels]] for multiple releases of games they have already played. | ||
The entire game consists of the first few hours of the original game spanning from when [[Emo|Cloud]] arrives on the train | The entire game consists of the first few hours of the original game (spanning from when [[Emo|Cloud]] arrives on the train until you break [[Dog|Red XIII]] out of the [[prison|pokey]] and take part in a highway fight - after escaping [[Shinra Online|Shinra]].) The most "innovative thing" this shitty retread does is giving a new personality to Cloud, changing him from a whiney-ass [[emo]] [[crybaby]] and more into the rough-and -eady soldier that he is supposed to be (rather how in the original, Cloud only gets caught up in a [[Hero]]-Quest at the promise of getting a piece of [[ass]] from Aerith.) | ||
|You Waited 4 Years For The Sequel, Now Go Bitch About How Disappointed You Are With It|Suicide|Blackface|Kanye West}} | |You Waited 4 Years For The Sequel, Now Go And Bitch About How Disappointed You Are With It|Suicide|Blackface|Kanye West}} | ||
Latest revision as of 09:35, 28 February 2024
Final Fantasy VII Remake is a game made for the ancient nostalgia fags looking to relive those teen years they lost some 60 years ago as a skinny little pedophile, and also marketed to a bunch of murder hungry prisoners looking for something to beat on just to pass the time and make their "today" appear different from the last couple thousand they have already served out.
The original is mostly known for making players cry into their pillow until their mommies took their asses to counseling; Because of trauma from Aerith getting the big ol' banhammer from 🔯Sephiroth🔯 and didn't come back to life like they had expected. Remake is meant to be a retelling of the same old story that works to open it up more by making forgettable minor characters like Biggs and Wedge into more relevant ones and that are, at least, necessary for the plot to advance or, for the more cynical, a way for corporations to get gamers to dish out Shekels for multiple releases of games they have already played.
The entire game consists of the first few hours of the original game (spanning from when Cloud arrives on the train until you break Red XIII out of the pokey and take part in a highway fight - after escaping Shinra.) The most "innovative thing" this shitty retread does is giving a new personality to Cloud, changing him from a whiney-ass emo crybaby and more into the rough-and -eady soldier that he is supposed to be (rather how in the original, Cloud only gets caught up in a Hero-Quest at the promise of getting a piece of ass from Aerith.)
| Suicide 2 days ago |
Blackface 4 days ago |
Kanye West 6 days ago | |