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[[Image:Alien-Predator pool.jpg|400px|right]]
Throughout the modern era, '''Aliens''' have been depicted as [[Jews|brutal, merciless, murderous, rapist reptilians]] that [http://www.news.com.au/technology/nasa-spacecraft-hijacked-by-aliens/story-e6frfro0-1225865827901 steal satellites for no reason]. But in reality, most of them are actually perfectly civilized rapists who genuinely care about their victims and are masters in the art of anal telekinesis. And even though most of them ''are'' sex offenders, as records show that 99.99% of [[anal]] [[rape]] crimes committed in the [[United States]] are done by [[Mexicans|extraterrestrial beings]], that doesn't mean that they're all bad.


{{notice|'''This article is entirely factual. [http://www.news.com.au/technology/nasa-spacecraft-hijacked-by-aliens/story-e6frfro0-1225865827901 Australiens have provided empirical evidence] that aliens are real (claims hijacked by aliens)!'''}}
Among their achievements are the invention and distribution of [[UFO|UFOs]], [[tentacle rape]], tacos, and burritos. Some have become presidents, top athletes, and even [[slurpee]] scientists. Nowadays an existence without aliens is hardly imaginable as they do our laundry, mow our lawn, iron our clothes, cook our food at Chinese buffets, and watch the kids when we're not home. They bring wealth, knowledge, and happiness to everybody... unless you are referring to a specific type of [[Jews|alien]], who control all of Earth's resources, enslaved every government in the world, and brainwashing us through their media.


[[Image:ThisIslandEarthBrian.jpg|thumb|A typical alien drone used for [[anal]] probes.]]
Sure they uniformly rob graves for sexual pleasure and as a result accidentally anal probe [[goths]] and [[emos]], mistaking them for corpses, with their marvelous [[anal]] technology. And their horrid screams are often heard at graveyards as the aliens plunge their tiny, quivering, angsty, rectums with their evil phallic-looking machines. But that's a small price to pay for their contribution to society.
'''Aliens''' are cephalopodan creatures from [[France]] that are often shown as [[furfags|brutal uncivilized murdering bastard]]s. But those are just blown-up lies; most aliens are actually perfectly civilized rapists who genuinely care about their victims and are masters in the art of anal telekinesis.
It is a fact that most aliens are sex offenders - records show that 99.99% of [[anal]] [[rape]] crimes committed in [[Texas]] are done by extraterrestrial beings, or [[Mexican]]s. [[Contrary to popular belief]], [[User:Sk4t0r05|Sk4t0r05]] is not an alien, but a [[retard]] from a nearby country, and is often referred to as the ''German Vermin''. He ''is'', however, an [[Steve_Jobs|anal rapist]].




== Man's best friend ==
{{Collapsegallery||Alien Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
{{clear}}
Image:Unique Knockers.PNG
[[Image:The_taking_of_elian_gonzalez.jpg|thumb|An alien apprehended by the CIA before being transported to Area 51.]]
Image:Alien-Monkey child.jpeg
[[Image:IllegalAliencostumetargetsold.jpg|thumb|A halloween costume honoring our alien friends.]]
Image:Aliens.jpg
[[Image:Images.alien.jpg|thumb|left|A glance at the medical department of an alien space station; rectal-abdominal surgery.]]
Image:Help me you idiots, the aliens are taking me.jpg|[[Jesus]] is no match for Aliens...
[[Image:Ilegal Ailens.jpg|thumb|They took yer jeb!]]
Image:Darth Vader versus Alien.jpg|But [[Star Wars|Darth Vader]] is.
 
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
 
Image:Aliens video game.jpg
Over the centuries some aliens have become presidents, top athletes and even [[slurpee]] scientists. Yes, nowadays an existence without aliens is hardly imaginable; They do our laundry, iron our clothes and watch the kids when we're not at home.
Image:Facehugger Mario.jpg
The best thing about this is that we learn a lot from aliens, their superhuman ability to be completely apathetic to any form of [[drama]] is something we should all endeavor, it's even rumored that there are some aliens active at [[ED]]'s drama lexicon, [[Aussieintn]] for instance is definitely one.
Image:Alien coffee bot.gif
 
Image:What'd I miss.gif
Aliens bring wealth, knowledge and happiness to everybody, except for the few broken souls that create usernames that are half composed of numbers. These doomed non-entities almost uniformly rob graves for sexual pleasure and as a result are made the targets of the aliens' marvelous [[anal]] technology. This includes the SIT (Small Intestine Translocator) and the ARD (Anal Rotation Device, presumably stolen from [[Nikola Tesla]]).  
Image:Images.alien.jpg|A glance at the medical department of an alien space station; rectal-abdominal surgery
Their horrid screams are often heard at graveyards as the aliens plunge their evil metal machines in the tiny, quivering rectums of unwilling young [[gothic]] teenagers.  
Image:The taking of elian gonzalez.jpg|An alien apprehended by the CIA before being transported to Area 51
 
Image:ThisIslandEarthBrian.jpg|A typical alien drone used for [[anal]] probes
Apart from that, they're kind friendly creatures who go to [[Christian|church]] every Sunday. They also like to stare at people through windows in the middle of the night.  OMFG LOOK BEHIND YOU!
Image:Alien34 - 1.jpg
 
Image:Alien34 - 6.jpg
==The Famous Moshman Incident==
Image:Alien34 - 5.jpg
[[Image:Bush cheney offspring.jpg|thumb|Sometimes, aliens infiltrate the government.]]
Image:Alien34 - 4.jpg
 
Aliens mostly come out at night, but one particular alien ate too many shrooms on one occasion and became disoriented. After eating the face of a cat belonging to a suburban family, the police were contacted and began to undergo the pursuit of this dreadful/grotesque/lulzy creature. The creature, dubbed the Moshman, was eventually pursued by army helicopters, tanks and other awesome military crap. To the embarrassment of the US government, who went so far as to nuke half the world in an attempt to neutralize the alien threat, it was later revealed that this alien was in fact just a small [[midget]] with a corset on its head.
 
 
 
 
 
 
okay, who's the jackass that blanked the article?
 
== Alien achievements ==
[[Image:Tiesto.jpg|thumb|Typical alien spaceship.]]
[[Image:Thehorror.jpg|thumb|right|<s>[[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS|HAHAHA, DISEGARD THAT, HE'S DEAD]]</s>Doing it wrong.]]
[[Image:igoearth.jpg|thumb|Freeloader aliens often try and solicit rides to Earth. Wise travelers do not pick them up.]]
[[Image:A10.jpg|thumb|Crazy alien genetic experiments]]
* The wide distribution of [[tentacle rape]] to all levels of society
* Laying the foundations of freedom and equality
* Documenting the [[holocaust]]
* [[UFO]]s
* Promoting grain export
* [[Slurpee]] genocide
* [[Trolling]] New Age dipshits by consistently [[Galactic Federation of Light|letting them down]].
 
==Famous Aliens==
[[Image:Alien.png|thumb|This alien makes handy use of his detachable penis for many different [[sex moves]].]]
 
*[[Marcabs]]
*[[Socrates]]
*[[E.T.]]
*[[Michael Jackson]]
*James Carville
*Marilyn Manson
*Kyle XY
*[[Your mom]]
*[[Raelian|The Elohim]]
*[[Alberto Gonzales]]
*[[Brian Peppers]]
*[[Mexican|Illegal Alien]]
*[[Xenu]]
*[[David Bowie]]
*[[Fag|You]]
*[[Fag|Ashtar Sheran]]
*[[TsimFuckis]]
*[[Xee-A Twelve|Amitakh Stanford]]
*[[Haruhi|Yuki Nagato]]
 
==Area [[34]]==
<gallery>
Image:Alien-fuck.jpg
Image:Alien-fuck.jpg
Image:Alien-fuck2.jpg
Image:Alien-fuck2.jpg
Line 81: Line 33:
Image:Alien-fuck7.jpg
Image:Alien-fuck7.jpg
Image:Alien-fuck8.jpg
Image:Alien-fuck8.jpg
Image:Demotivator-aliens.jpg|Finally a demotivator
image:Herm xenomorph furfag porn.jpg
Image:Motivatorefe4a4359547fdd4a214e5919128bd2b12ca0ee0.jpg| NEVER let them see you.
Image:34alien.jpg
Image:34alien.jpg|Rule 34. And it's not even proven if they really do exist.
Image:Growse.jpg
Image:Cephalopenis.jpg|Alien dickhead.
Image:Demotivator-aliens.jpg
Image:Growse.jpg|Raep.
Image:Cephalopenis.jpg
Image:Alien34 - 1.jpg|You wished this was when you watched the movies
Image:Alien.png|This alien makes handy use of his detachable penis for many different [[sex moves]]
Image:Alien34 - 4.jpg|Hot Predalien(?) girl thingy
Image:IllegalAliencostumetargetsold.jpg
Image:Alien34 - 5.jpg|Hot Xeno-human milf
Image:Bush cheney offspring.jpg|Sometimes, aliens infiltrate the government
Image:Alien34 - 6.jpg|This is you on meth
Image:Anal intruders from Uranus.jpg
</gallery>
Image:Ancient Aliens.jpg
Image:Alien_-_01.jpg
Image:Alien_-_02.jpg
Image:Alien_-_03.jpg
Image:Alien_-_04.jpg
Image:m93r.jpg
Image:Alien_-_Alien_Salad_-_01.jpg
Image:Alien_-_Alien_Salad_-_02.jpg
Image:Food_-_Bento_-_Alien.jpg
Image:Alien_-_Blow_Job.jpg
File:Cadbury's smash martians laughing.gif
</gallery>}}


==Examples==
==Videos==
<center><youtube>qCUZPBjBosI</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>qCUZPBjBosI</youtube><br>'''[[Dr. Steel]]'s take on Aliens'''</center>
<center>Moar: [[Dr. Steel]]</center>
<center><youtube>OCf6wsMq_PM</youtube></center>
<center>''UFOs sometimes lay eggs!''</center>
<center><youtube>iEUMlgoQvrI</youtube></center>
<center>''lul wut''</center>


==See Also==
==See Also==
*[[Area 51]]
*[[Ayy lmao]]
*[[Ghosts]]
*Famous Aliens
**[[Alberto Gonzales]]
**[[Xee-A Twelve|Amitakh Stanford]]
**[[Brian Peppers]]
**[[E.T.]]
**Elián González
**[[Spics|Hispanics]]
**[[Jews]]
**[[Marcabs]]
**[[Michael Jackson]]
**[[Azns|Orientals]]
**[[Raelian|The Elohim]]
**[[TsimFuckis]]
**[[Haruhi|Yuki Nagato]]
**[[Xenu]]
*[[Vampires]]
*[[Xenophiles]]
*[[Zombies]]


*[[Vampire]]s
==Extraterrestrial links==
*[[Area 51]]


* [http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/i-abducted-reptile-aliens-who-6624927 '''"I was abducted by reptiles who raped me on the Moon and made me lift boxes," claims USAF officer'''] (Archived: {{archive|qIcDr|1}} {{wayback|https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/i-abducted-reptile-aliens-who-6624927|title=2}})
{{clear}}
{{truth}}
{{truth}}
{{Timeline|Featured article November 10, [[2005]]|[[Ebaumsworld]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Ellen Feiss]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article November 10, [[2005]]|[[Ebaumsworld]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Ellen Feiss]]}}

Latest revision as of 02:48, 23 May 2023

Throughout the modern era, Aliens have been depicted as brutal, merciless, murderous, rapist reptilians that steal satellites for no reason. But in reality, most of them are actually perfectly civilized rapists who genuinely care about their victims and are masters in the art of anal telekinesis. And even though most of them are sex offenders, as records show that 99.99% of anal rape crimes committed in the United States are done by extraterrestrial beings, that doesn't mean that they're all bad.

Among their achievements are the invention and distribution of UFOs, tentacle rape, tacos, and burritos. Some have become presidents, top athletes, and even slurpee scientists. Nowadays an existence without aliens is hardly imaginable as they do our laundry, mow our lawn, iron our clothes, cook our food at Chinese buffets, and watch the kids when we're not home. They bring wealth, knowledge, and happiness to everybody... unless you are referring to a specific type of alien, who control all of Earth's resources, enslaved every government in the world, and brainwashing us through their media.

Sure they uniformly rob graves for sexual pleasure and as a result accidentally anal probe goths and emos, mistaking them for corpses, with their marvelous anal technology. And their horrid screams are often heard at graveyards as the aliens plunge their tiny, quivering, angsty, rectums with their evil phallic-looking machines. But that's a small price to pay for their contribution to society.


[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Videos


Dr. Steel's take on Aliens

See Also

Extraterrestrial links

Alien is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article November 10, 2005
Preceded by
Ebaumsworld 		Alien Succeeded by
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Featured article November 20, 2005
Preceded by
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