Childfree: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 06:27, 16 June 2024

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HOLY SHIT this was the first evar headlined page!!!1

Some people shouldn't have had children.

childfree is one of the most drama-laden communities on LiveJournal, and has been best described as "the only movement of people who act just like the beings they not only used to be, but hate."

Summary

Childfree people are people who do not want to have or raise any children. This would be admirable, were it a magnanimous attempt to spare the world from their inferior genes, but more often stems from a retarded attempt to feel special. They sometimes make fun of bad parents (referred to as "moos" or "breeders") and ill behaved children (they call them crotch-droppings, crotchfruit, sproggen, sproglodytes, crib-lizards, spermlettes, crayon-gobblers, flesh-loaves, snot-monsters, nipple-nibblers, shit-factories, uterine-chum, fartlings, twat-snot, semen-demons, sperm-vermin, fuck-trophies, cunt-runts, etc...), whose antics are an endless source of innocent merriment.

Usually this is done with a justifiable air of superiority, since by saying they plan to rot into dust with no spawn they are actually better than parents or children. Of course the childfree are superior - moos can only dream of their children growing up to enjoy their spare time, sleep, have expendable income, avoid piss, vomit, and diarrhea, engage in limitless sex without consequences, and spend time on LiveJournal.

Trolls regularly support their persecution complex, as no one in their right mind gives two shits whether they don't want to have kids. Regrettably, but with large quantities of lulz for the trolls involved, this has caused many to go insane. By the same token, however, the childfree often enjoy trolling breeders both online and IRL. Of course, they're far better at it since their spare time and cash usually leave them better educated, thinner, and better rested. Filthy breeder sows, being naturally more tense from their constant exposure to shrieking piles of feces, make things particularly easy.

People of the Childfree community are as varied as can be. Some love children, others couldn't care less, others dislike them, but the point is they're going to ride the Virginbus all the way into some horny-ass terrorist's bed in Hell. One thing in common amongst them is that it is always fun to laugh at a good dead baby joke because they're fucking hilarious, or handcuffing five-year-olds, or making children cry, or teenagers being molested. And most fail to realize when someone is exaggerating.

From the community User Info:

"We are a group of adults who all share at least one common desire: we do not wish to have children of our own. We are teachers, doctors, business owners, authors, computer experts - you name it. We choose to call ourselves "childfree" rather than "childless," because we feel the term "childless" implies that we're missing something we want - and we aren't. We consider ourselves childFREE - free of the loss of personal freedom, money, time and energy that having children requires"

For the record, childfree people do not necessarily hate children. Many childfree people actually love children and enjoy being around them-- they just don't want any of their own. True, some childfree folks hate kids, but they are entitled to their beliefs just as you are entitled to yours. As long as no one is getting hurt, who cares?

Perhaps the most entertaining aspect of the childfree advocates is their love of childish things. Cartoons, toys, video games, pretending to be animals and the like are all adored by them, and you may find the worst of them whining about going to a children's movie and being annoyed by the children. Strangely, loving your pet cat and asking for sympathy is OK, while hitting a kid with your bike elicits cheers.

One more example: while it's not OK for children to act out in public, it's perfectly OK for a childfree member to scream "EW A KID TOUCHED ME!" in the middle of a family restaurant. Opposing such "childish" behavior actually led to derision and scorn for the member who dared to question whether perhaps the screamer had gone too far. A similar case of awe-inspiring maturity and restraint can be seen here.

Let's not overlook the good points of the community, however. The Childfree community is also a place to discuss birth control, and insolent children. Also, anything that increases the number of dead baby jokes can't be all bad.

Childfree members often share their shock over unacceptable child behavior, and reminisce about the "old days" when parents taught their children not to scream and cry in public, steal other people's belongings, deliberately break others possessions, shit, puke, or demand constant, unwarranted attention from all. They dream of a world where parents discipline their children, remove them from polite society, and stop acting as if the world needs to lick their assholes because they managed to pull off a 'miracle' that any fieldmouse manages ten times a second.

Most childfree community members are quite compassionate towards others, as long as they are adult childfree people, or cats. A great many of them find joy in caring for younger siblings, or nieces, nephews, and assorted cousins, then sitting down at their computers and having a good laugh or two about the dumb moo who killed her sprog accidentally with a hair dryer, because let's face it - that shit is goddamned funny.

A psychological article

The opinions expressed herein are those of a qualified licensed doctor.

These People Are Fucked. Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over Again. Like Ron Jeremy on a Good Night. That's What the Sex is Like. These People Get *FUCKED UP*.
by Joe Brown, PhD (still looking for a real job).

Psychologically speaking, many of the users in the "childfree" LiveJournal community are diagnosed as "being fucked," or in some cases "being completely fucked." This is simply because, being childless, they have far more time to actually have sex.

People who join the LJ group seeking a common bond with people who prefer not to have children will soon see how fucked these people are and quickly get the fuck out of there. While, at first glance, some might say the users there are simply Scrooge-like bitter twisted old misers who can't stand to see the little brats and live in the 1800's, they are, in fact, fucked. Often.

Their fucked-up combination of pedophobia and misopaedia apparent in their discussions is usually the first things a psychologist sees, whom would usually render a diagnosis of "fucked." However, their additional verminophobia and adult chauvinism serve to demonstrate that a diagnosis of "completely fucked" is often in order. And thus, those who are, originally, only "fucked" or even "slightly fucked" encounter a stew of fucked up fuckery that simply makes them even more fucked.

On encountering a "childfree" person such as described, people are advised to say "What the fuck is wrong with you?" in a loud and direct voice. This usually shames them into either leaving, or, alternatively, setting a start date for their killing/molestation spree. For a good comparison of what the general values of the group are, think KKK meets some other fucked up shit.

Another common theory is that it is bunch of trolls telling dead baby jokes to each other. Some disagree, and say that standard trolls would have already realized how fucked up it was and left.

Note: A common exclamation upon learning about this perspective involves the use of the word "fuck." For example: "What the fucked up fucking fuck kind of fucking shit fucked up fuck is this shit, holy fuck." It is possible that their myriad of conditions cause Tourette's syndrome in others, but this fucking bullshit isn't even fucking proven fuck damn cocksucking whore shitting dick nipples.

Gallup

"Over the past 30 years, the fraction of women over 40 who have no children has nearly doubled, to about a fifth. According to the Gallup Organization, 70 percent of these women regret they have no kids.

It's possible some of these women regret not having children in the way they regret not taking more time off after college. But for others, this longing for the kids they did not have is a profound, soul-encompassing sadness."¹

David Brooks

Other Childfree Communities

While Childfree is the original place for childfree chat, a number of other communities have sprung up. Notables include:

catsnotkids
cf_christians
cf_crafts
cf_feminist
~~cf_furries~~ Deleted. A Furry will never have children regardless.
~~cf_goth~~ BALEETED.
cf_hardcore (Read about them here)
cf_pets
cf_no_doubts
childfree_zone
~~dogsnotsprogs~~ Dead.

In fact, there are now 102 communities on LiveJournal listing "childfree" as an interest. It seemed that Childfree has spawned at least 100 whiny, obnoxious communities that terrorize innocent bystanders. There is absolutely no irony in this.

Opposing Points of View

Some argue that they are fat greasy basement dwellers who have no chance of finding a partner of the opposite sex and have given up trying, not unlike faggots.

This is now fact

See Quiverfull.

Childfree is part of a series on

LiveJournal

Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article December 21, 2004
Preceded by First evar!!	Childfree	Succeeded by Furry

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-[[Image:Childfree.jpg|thumb|WARNING: DO NOT GET PREGNANT. Maybe the female members of the childfree community are on Accutane.]]
+{{spoilers|this was the first evar headlined page}}
-[[Image:42128.gif|thumb|The childfree community logo]]
+[[Image:Ecstasy or Responsibility.gif|thumb|The childfree community logo]]
 [[Image:Family Planning.jpg|thumb|Family Planning is important, but they forgot to mention [[you|drip babies]].]]
 [[Image:Astormytrooper.jpg|thumb|Some people shouldn't have had children.]]
+[[Image:The joys of having children.jpg|thumb|Look at all the fun those childfree people are missing out on!]]
 {{ljcomm|user=childfree}} is one of the most drama-laden communities on [[LiveJournal]], and has been best described as "the only movement of people who act just like the beings they not only used to be, but hate."
 ==Summary==
-Childfree people are people who do not want to have or raise any children. They sometimes make fun of bad parents (referred to as "moos") and ill behaved children (they call them "crotch droppings"), whose antics are an endless source of innocent merriment.
+Childfree people are people who do not want to have or raise any children.  This would be admirable, were it a magnanimous attempt to spare the world from their [[You|inferior genes]], but more often stems from a retarded attempt to feel [[Special Snowflake Syndrome|special]]. They sometimes make fun of bad parents (referred to as "[[breeder|moos]]" or "[[Octomom|breeders]]") and ill behaved children (they call them crotch-droppings, crotchfruit, sproggen, sproglodytes, crib-lizards, spermlettes, crayon-gobblers, flesh-loaves, snot-monsters, nipple-nibblers, shit-factories, uterine-chum, fartlings, twat-snot, semen-demons, sperm-vermin, fuck-trophies, cunt-runts, etc...), whose antics are an endless source of innocent merriment.
-Usually this is done with an air of superiority, as if by saying they plan to rot into dust with no spawn they are somehow better than parents or children. Of course, the childfree posters *are* superior. Moos can only [[dream]] of their children growing up to be bitter, angry jerks who hate their parents and spend their time on [[LiveJournal]].
+Usually this is done with a justifiable air of superiority, since by saying they plan to rot into dust with no spawn they are actually better than parents or children. Of course the childfree are superior - moos can only [[dream]] of their children growing up to enjoy their spare time, sleep, have expendable income, avoid piss, vomit, and diarrhea, engage in limitless sex without consequences, and spend time on [[LiveJournal]].
-Trolls regularly support their [[attention whore|persecution complex]], as no one in their right mind gives two shits whether they don't want to have kids. Regrettably, but with large quantities of [[lulz]] for the trolls involved, this has caused many to go [[insane]].
+Trolls regularly support their [[attention whore|persecution complex]], as no one in their right mind gives two shits whether they don't want to have kids. Regrettably, but with large quantities of [[lulz]] for the trolls involved, this has caused many to go [[insane]].  By the same token, however, the childfree often enjoy trolling [[Octomom|breeders]] both online and IRL.  Of course, they're far better at it since their spare time and cash usually leave them better educated, thinner, and better rested.  [[Fat Whore|Filthy breeder sows]], being naturally more tense from their constant exposure to shrieking piles of feces, make things particularly easy.
-People of the Childfree community are as varied as can be. Some [[pedobear|love children]], others [[Lie|couldn't care less]], others dislike them, but the point is they're going to ride the [[Virginbus]] all the way into some horny-ass [[terrorist]]'s bed in [[Hell]]. One thing in common amongst them is that it is always fun to laugh at a good dead child or dead parent joke, or [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4036149.html handcuffing five-year-olds], or [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4032858.html making children cry], or [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4029248.html teenagers being molested]. [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4964196.html And most fail to realize when someone is exaggerating.]
+People of the Childfree community are as varied as can be. Some [[pedobear|love children]], others [[Lie|couldn't care less]], others dislike them, but the point is they're going to ride the [[Virginbus]] all the way into some horny-ass [[terrorist]]'s bed in [[Hell]]. One thing in common amongst them is that it is always fun to laugh at a good [[Dead babies|dead baby joke]] because they're fucking hilarious, or [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4036149.html handcuffing five-year-olds], or [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4032858.html making children cry], or [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4029248.html teenagers being molested]. [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4964196.html And most fail to realize when someone is exaggerating.]
 From the community User Info:
@@ Line 27: / Line 29: @@
 One more example: while it's not OK for children to act out in public, it's perfectly OK for a childfree member to scream "[http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4028218.html EW A KID TOUCHED ME!]" in the middle of a family restaurant. Opposing such "childish" behavior actually led to derision and scorn for the member who dared to question whether perhaps the screamer had gone too far. A similar case of awe-inspiring maturity and restraint can be seen [http://community.livejournal.com/childfree/8130671.html here].
-Let's not overlook the good points of the community, however. The Childfree community is also a place to discuss [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4040793.html birth] [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4036517.html control], and [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4038198.html insolent] [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4038096.html children].
+Let's not overlook the good points of the community, however. The Childfree community is also a place to discuss [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4040793.html birth] [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4036517.html control], and [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4038198.html insolent] [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4038096.html children].  Also, anything that increases the number of [[Dead babies|dead baby]] jokes can't be all bad.
-Childfree members often share their shock over acceptable child behavior, and reminisce about the "old days" when parents taught their children not to scream and cry in public, steal other people's belongings, deliberately break others possessions, or demand constant, unwarranted attention from all.  They dream of a world where parents discipline their children.
+Childfree members often share their shock over unacceptable child behavior, and reminisce about the "old days" when parents taught their children not to scream and cry in public, steal other people's belongings, deliberately break others possessions, shit, puke, or demand constant, unwarranted attention from all.  They dream of a world where parents discipline their children, remove them from polite society, and stop acting as if the world needs to [[Rimjob|lick their assholes]] because they managed to pull off a 'miracle' that any fieldmouse manages ten times a second.
-Most childfree community members are quite compassionate towards others, as long as they are adult childfree people, or cats.  A great many of them find joy in caring for younger siblings, or nieces, nephews, and assorted cousins, then sitting down at their computers and having a good laugh or two about the dumb moo who killed her sprog [[I accidentally X|accidentally]] with a hair dryer. [http://www.livejournal.com/community/childfree/4940949.html Or they talk about how a child getting flattened by a snowball brightened their day]
+Most childfree community members are quite compassionate towards others, as long as they are adult childfree people, or cats.  A great many of them find joy in caring for younger siblings, or nieces, nephews, and assorted cousins, then sitting down at their computers and having a good laugh or two about the dumb moo who killed her sprog [[I accidentally X|accidentally]] with a hair dryer, because let's face it - that shit is goddamned funny.
 ===A psychological article===
 [[Image:IdiocracyDoctor.jpg|thumb|The opinions expressed herein are those of a qualified licensed doctor.]]
 '''These People Are Fucked. Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over Again. Like Ron Jeremy on a Good Night. That's What the Sex is Like. These People Get *FUCKED UP*.'''<br />
 ''by Joe Brown, PhD (still looking for a real job).''
-Psychologically speaking, many of the users in the "childfree" LiveJournal community are diagnosed as "being fucked," or in some cases "being completely fucked."
+Psychologically speaking, many of the users in the "childfree" LiveJournal community are diagnosed as "being fucked," or in some cases "being completely fucked." This is simply because, being childless, they have far more time to actually have sex.
-People who join the [[LJ]] group seeking a common bond with people who prefer not to have children will soon see how fucked these people are and quickly get the fuck out of there. While, at first glance, some might say the users there are simply Scrooge-like bitter twisted old misers who can't stand to see the little brats and live in the 1800's, they are, in fact, fucked.
+People who join the [[LJ]] group seeking a common bond with people who prefer not to have children will soon see how fucked these people are and quickly get the fuck out of there. While, at first glance, some might say the users there are simply Scrooge-like bitter twisted old misers who can't stand to see the little brats and live in the 1800's, they are, in fact, fucked.  Often.
 Their fucked-up combination of pedophobia and misopaedia apparent in their discussions is usually the first things a psychologist sees, whom would usually render a diagnosis of "fucked." However, their additional verminophobia and adult chauvinism serve to demonstrate that a diagnosis of "completely fucked" is often in order. And thus, those who are, originally, only "fucked" or even "slightly fucked" encounter a stew of fucked up fuckery that simply makes them even more fucked.
@@ Line 58: / Line 62: @@
 == Other Childfree Communities ==
-While Childfree is the original place for childfree chat, a number of other communities have sprung up.  Notables include:
+While Childfree is the original place for childfree chat, a number of other communities have sprung up.  Notables include:
 * {{ljcomm|user=catsnotkids}}
 * {{ljcomm|user=cf_christians}}
 * {{ljcomm|user=cf_crafts}}
 * {{ljcomm|user=cf_feminist}}
-* <strike>{{ljcomm|user=cf_furries}}</strike> Deleted. A Furry will never have children regardless.
+* <s>{{ljcomm|user=cf_furries}}</s> Deleted. A Furry will never have children regardless.
-* <strike>{{ljcomm|user=cf_goth}}</strike> BALEETED.
+* <s>{{ljcomm|user=cf_goth}}</s> BALEETED.
 * {{ljcomm|user=cf_hardcore}} (Read about them [[CF Hardcore|here]])
 * {{ljcomm|user=cf_pets}}
 * {{ljcomm|user=cf_no_doubts}}
 * {{ljcomm|user=childfree_zone}}
-* <strike>{{ljcomm|user=dogsnotsprogs}}</strike> Dead.
+* <s>{{ljcomm|user=dogsnotsprogs}}</s> Dead.
 In fact, there are now 102 communities on LiveJournal listing "childfree" as an interest.  It seemed that Childfree has spawned [[at least 100]] whiny, obnoxious communities that terrorize innocent bystanders.  There is absolutely no [[irony]] in this.
 == Opposing Points of View ==
 [[Some argue]] that they are fat greasy basement dwellers who have no chance of finding a partner of the opposite sex and have given up trying, not unlike faggots.
@@ Line 84: / Line 91: @@
 == Meta ==
 * [http://www.journalfen.net/community/otf_wank/178589.html Journal Fen] community reaction.
-* [[Talk:childfree|Childfree members wank about misrepresentation]]
+* [[Talk:Childfree|Childfree members wank about misrepresentation]]
 * [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Childfree&oldid=3151 Article as written by over-sensitive childfree member and then translated]
 ==See Also==
@@ Line 99: / Line 105: @@
 == External Links ==
+* [http://www.unbaby.me/ Unbaby.Me] - Remove all babies from Firefox & Facebook]
 * [http://ljdrama.org/index.php?s=childfree&submit=Search LJ Drama articles on Childfree]
 * [http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=childfree Memorable posts in Childfree]
@@ Line 111: / Line 119: @@
 {{Ljseries}}
 {{Timeline|Featured article December 21, [[2004]]|[[ED:AON|First evar!!]]|Childfree|[[Furry]]}}
-[[category: LJ Communities]]
+[[Category:LJ Communities]]
 [[Category:LJ Drama]]

Childfree: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 06:27, 16 June 2024

Contents

Summary

A psychological article

Gallup

Other Childfree Communities

Opposing Points of View

This is now fact

Meta

See Also

External Links

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