Jack Kevorkian: Difference between revisions
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Dr. Kevorkian was | [[image:KevorkianGift.jpg|thumb|[[final solution|Good for one visit.]]]] | ||
Dr. Jack Kevorkian was doubtlessly the greatest [[idol]] that [[old people]] and [[An hero|heroic individuals]] have ever known. His tireless and [[expert]] [[crime|circumvention of]] [[law]], combined with his wholesale [[dedication]] to the swift termination of human flesh, resulted in the early expiration of 130 broken husks of what may have at one point been [[people]]. He bore the burden of executing a task which most could only [[envy]]: scourging the earth of [[HIV|dried up]], [[herpes|dilapidated]], broken, [[obamacare|Medicare]] leeching "people." A (perhaps unintended) consequence of his bold slaying of bedridden losers was a significant reduction in the occurrences of angry shouts of "''CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER!''" | |||
[[Image:jackkevorkian.jpg|thumb|He sure is a looker!]] | [[Image:jackkevorkian.jpg|thumb|He sure is a looker!]] | ||
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[[Image:0_61_kevorkian_jack.jpg|thumb|..Now, is it just me, or does he look an awful lot like Mister Rogers here?]] | [[Image:0_61_kevorkian_jack.jpg|thumb|..Now, is it just me, or does he look an awful lot like Mister Rogers here?]] | ||
Ever since he died, the number of [[Emos]] and [[Goths]] living in the [[USA]] has risen | Ever since he died, the number of [[Emos]] and [[Goths]] living in the [[USA]] has risen in triplicate, perhaps in mourning of their fallen god. They'd be a lot less sad if they knew that Dr. Kevorkian, Esquire, did not accept unstable tweens as clients. | ||
Dr. Kevorkian's methods can be used to cure [[ETD|many common ailments]] such as: | Dr. Kevorkian's methods can be used to cure [[ETD|many common ailments]] such as: | ||
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== External Links == | == External Links == | ||
*[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18974940/ns/health-health_care He is out of prison.] | *[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18974940/ns/health-health_care He is out of prison.] | ||
*[http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/04/us/04kevorkian.html He is dead] | *[http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/04/us/04kevorkian.html He is dead.] | ||
{{trolls}} | |||
[[Category:People]] | [[Category:People]] | ||
Latest revision as of 15:28, 15 November 2016
Dr. Jack Kevorkian was doubtlessly the greatest idol that old people and heroic individuals have ever known. His tireless and expert circumvention of law, combined with his wholesale dedication to the swift termination of human flesh, resulted in the early expiration of 130 broken husks of what may have at one point been people. He bore the burden of executing a task which most could only envy: scourging the earth of dried up, dilapidated, broken, Medicare leeching "people." A (perhaps unintended) consequence of his bold slaying of bedridden losers was a significant reduction in the occurrences of angry shouts of "CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER!"
Ever since he died, the number of Emos and Goths living in the USA has risen in triplicate, perhaps in mourning of their fallen god. They'd be a lot less sad if they knew that Dr. Kevorkian, Esquire, did not accept unstable tweens as clients.
Dr. Kevorkian's methods can be used to cure many common ailments such as:
- Life
- Emo
- Attention whoreism
- This shitty article
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