Adele

THE ONLY FIRE THAT STARTED FOR HER IS IN THE KITCHEN

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Adele thanks her fans.

OH LAWD IS DAT SUM CHIKIN?

Set Fire to the Jews.

Adele Laurie Blue Cheese Adkins, better known simply as Adele is an oversized fat 36-year old landwhale JUST like Girlvinyl, except that she sings and it sounds like shit.

Originally from Britfaggistan, she first came to prominence after horse-faced pro-ana Jewess, Amy Whorehouse pwned herself with drugs, allowing her considerable bulk to fill the void in the public's lives for dreary, droaning soul ballads (sans soul), the blatant vibe that this lardass is clearly projecting her dissatisfaction with life. Apparently, she recieved her first recording contract after a friend of hers posted a demo on MySpace in 2006, but as anybody who has even a cursory idea as to how the music industry works will tell you, this is an obvious lie cultivated by her record company to make her seem down-to-earth. It also implies that she has friends, as this, according to their market research, is something that the general public find popular.

Greed

Merely by looking at Adele's bloated, walrus-like carcass, either on stage or in one of her music videos, it should become readily apparent that she's a greedy bitch. However, it would appear that, much like a certain other fatty, Adele's greed is not just for cheezburgers.

In an interview with Q magazine, Adele let her true colours show.

	“	I'm mortified to have to pay 50 per cent! While I use the NHS, I can't use public transport any more. Trains are always late, most state schools are shit, and I've gotta give you, like, four million quid – are you having a laugh? When I got my tax bill in from my album 19, I was ready to go and buy a gun and randomly open fire.	„
	—The multi-platinum selling millionairess Adele on her money problems. Oh, but our hearts bleed for you, dear.

Songs

All of Adele's songs are as follows

Rolling in the deep: You left me, you're going to regret it, and I'm better than you.

Someone like you: You left me,you're going to regret it, and I'm better than you. with sad passive-aggressive undertones.

Rumor has it: You left me, you're going to regret it, and I'm better than you.

Trolling In The Deep

Last Thursday news spreaded that Adele had not aborted her baby and instead decided to give birth to yet another glob of useless lard on a Friday. Shit leaked out via Twitter and like sharks to blood in open water then came the interbutt trolls. They all congratulated Adele by giving a nice warm welcome to the glob and gave her advice on how to prepare it for life as the new fuglier Susan Boyle. She took the nice warm congrats very srsly... Then bawww'd to the Internet Police before auctioning her 'misery' to commercial media outlets.

	“	Aw Adele gave birth to a baby :,) is it fat and Handicapped lol just murder it already lol	„
	—Venessa Bieber proving what lovely people Beliebers are.

	“	Another Twitter user wrote: 'I’ll go see her in the UK and kill her', while another retweeted the message, adding: 'And kill her baby.' Many other users wrote that Adele would have more material to write about if she suffered from post-natal depression, or if her son died, while others said they hadn't realised Adele was pregnant because she is overweight.	„
	— Daily Mail

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Gallery

• 
  Adele's many thanks to all her fans out there after the trollin incident. She's as fat as always.
• 
  Gaga responding to one of Adele's many thanks
• 
  An unfunny meme about her
• 
  Hippocrisy
• 
• 
• 
• 
  No Exceptions

External links

• Her MySpace shit
•  Official Twitter
• A shitty Wiki focusing on Adele
•  Her Facebook page
• Her shitsite

See also

• Fat
• FGAS
• Girlvinyl
• MAN THE HARPOONS
• Skyfall

Adele is part of a series on Music Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.