David Vitter

Senator Vitter, right, with an unidentified accomplice.

One of the many prostitutes rumored to have disciplined itty bitty baby Vitter

Hilariousness

Here's what Vitter thinks about marriage!

David Vitter is a politician from the state of Loser-ana. Elected to the Senate at least 100 years ago, he was well-known as a Christian Conservative who championed family values. That is, until some IRL trolls working for The Man found his name in a brothel madam's friends list (she became an hero Last Thursday btw) and discovered that Senator Family Values himself thoroughly enjoyed hookers and blow when not campaigning on the importance of morality and chastity.

To add to the lulz, some argue that Vitter's indulgence in whores also involved a disturbing streak of infantilism, and that he very much enjoyed wearing diapers during his depraved sexual escapades.

These revelations have been especially damaging to the candidacy of Vitter's closet butt-buddy, Rudy Giuliani, as the former mayor of New York had become BFF with him to appeal to the Moral Majority. Seeing as how Giuliani's image was already tainted among conservatives by cross-dressing and living with two gheys, his campaign is currently headed for epic fail now that his potential running mate has been exposed as a sick fuck.

Will South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint be next?

Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.), approached by a group of reporters outside the lunch, offered an unexpected defense. “All of us have to look at it and say that we could be next,” he said in answer to a Vitter question. “We all think that we’re not vulnerable to something like that happening, but the fact is this can be a very lonely and isolating place.

-- Washington Post, 11 July 2007

See Also

• Lisa Nowak
• Mark Foley
• Rudy Giuliani
• Infantilism
• FCYTravis
• Larry Craig

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