Gynophobia

A classic worthy of having been green-lit.

Yet another exclusive for the PC master race, Gynophobia is a video game notorious for its extreme ass-suckage. Available on Steam, this masterpiece can be yours for only $3.99, and in typical indie shit fashion, can be beaten in about twenty minutes, much like other so-called games.

The entire game

You play as some pussy with a severe case of gynophobia and arachnophobia. The game begins with you in the protagonist's mom's room. With nothing worth looking at in this room, which will become a recurring theme throughout this miserable excuse for a game, you exit into the house's hallway only to have the screen start shaking and your character's heart pounding. You will notice that it's your character's reaction to a small spider on the floor, serving as a block from entering the kitchen at this point in the game.

After that, you stumble around the small, barren home to the only thing you can really explore: a computer. At this point, you get sucked away from the mildly interesting main game to a FPS, and a really bad one to boot. You play a sewer level, shooting random zombies. When you're finished in the sewer, you get some wheels for a van and drive off, with this seemingly stupid side distraction being mercifully over. Sadly, this ends up being the main game, with the house serving as a hub world.

Now the doorbell will ring. Your character can see a woman through the peephole, so he dares not answer. The spider no longer impedes your path into the kitchen, so you go in only to find your mom has prepared some unknown liquid for you, with a note requesting you drink it. You instantly go into vertigo after consuming it, make your way to bed, and the game goes back into being a shooter. Throughout this part, your enemies are spiders, spider eggs and zombie women, how clever.

Finally (thank Christ) you defeat the game's end boss: A hybrid spider-woman with massive tits. What more did you expect? Your character snaps out of his stupor, steps on and squashes the spider that tormented him earlier in the game, hears the doorbell ring again, answers it to show the same woman you saw through the peephole before, she waves, you win, the game fades to white, the credits roll and you enter the denial stage of the Kübler-Ross model, and refuse to believe you wasted twenty minutes and four dollars on this, when you could have used that money to instead purchase a gallon of gas and a Slim Jim from your nearest convenience store.

Gallery

Gallery About missing Pics

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  If only faggots could still seek treatment from Western psychiatrists.
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  The final boss.
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  As lifeless as she looks, maybe the protagonist's case of gynophobia was justified.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also

• Five Nights at Freddy's - Somehow has even worse gameplay than Gynophobia.
• FPS
• Gone Home - Gynophobia sans the shooting sections.
• Shit
• Steam
• Superman: The New Adventures

External links

Gynophobia on Steam

Gynophobia is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.