Sony Defense Force: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 22:32, 20 August 2016

The Sony Defense Force is yet another community of PlayStation 3 fantards that play Call of Duty. However, they differ from the rest for the simple reason that they take the Console Wars so seriously that they have gotten to the level of tinfoil hat paranoia.

If the article is tl;dr for you, here's a quick summary of their failure.

The Web Site

This is pretty much the upper limit of Sony fanboy creativity.

The Sony Defense Force homepage consists of a bunch of badly photoshopped images, featuring themes ranging from Xbox 360s overheating to Xbox 360s catching on fire. There is also a video of some luser talking about how Paystation 3 is God or something. As if anyone gave a shit.

What they don't seem to realize, is that the site is not satire. The SDF fans are getting trolled to shit and all we can/will do is laugh.

The Beginning

In the Beginning, there was no Sony Defense Force, but a community of fucking retards formed by gamers who were appalled at how Sony seemed to be trolling IRL with the PlayStation 3. Wii60 then formed a site called This is Waiting, which was filled with pictures mocking the PlayStation 3. And it was then that the Sony Defense Force site was discovered, by none other than the Wii60 administrator himself (who is suspected of actually creating the Sony Defense Force). And so began an almighty pillage that wreaked havoc on SDF, until all the banned members of Wii60 showed up and became moderators, meaning that Sony Defense Force was essentially formed by Wii60 taking a shit into the toilet of the Internets.

Wait, WHAT?

Yes, minor research suggests that Sony Defense force was originally created to get more people to go to wii60. Of coarse, sometime after SDF noticed that people were on to them, they covered their domain registration info with domainbyproxy. But obviously, sometime after that, the site was obviously taken over by butthurt former wii60 users. From what we can guess, the site no longer consisted of fake posts pretending to stroke Sony's cock. Instead it probably consisted of people so pissed off at wii60 that they stroked Sony's cock in rebellion. The real question is, what has REALLY been going on since then and now? The whole website itself is pretty damn shady.

The Community

TOTALLY not going to regret this later on.

The Sony Defense Force forum is pretty damn high on the list of reasons as to why the Internets sucks, for it is here that a cesspool of asshattery like none other has arisen.

Basically, you will find two types of members on the forum. First, we have the obsessive Sony fan who preaches tolerance, but has the terms "X-Bot" and "Nintenfag" on a holster. These two words comprise 78% of the Sony Defense Force's cumulative vocabulary. Then, of course, we have the occasional troll, who comes in to mock the quality of posts by imitating them. Which doesn't work because these SDF assholes can't figure out what's going on. Typical discussions range from how God-like PlayStation 3 is to how shitty Xbox 360 and Wii are. The moderators are a bunch of Nazi douchebags who suffer from unprecedented levels of unwarranted self-importance. If you say anything positive about Microsoft or Nintendo, you are banned.

Why they care so much about a $600 gimped computer is beyond anyone's comprehension.

"FUD"

Being that these are the same people who think that the Government did 9/11, they, of course, can't accept the fact that anybody thinks different from them, so they introduced the concept of Microsoft "FUD": Fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Basically, what they're saying is that they are too close-minded to see why anyone would buy a different video game machine than they would, so, of course, Microsoft must be secretly paying people to like their game console. Yeah, because Bill Gates really gives a shit about what machine 13 year old boys use to play games in their mothers' basements.

Notable Members

m0dus

Formerly known as arne, m0dus is the administrator of SDF. His policy is that "M$ FUD will NOT be tolerated!!1". What he considers "FUD", though, encompasses pretty much all forms of discussion. This guy bans anyone who doesn't want a PlayStation 3, even if they just can't afford it.

HereBoy

Refers to himself as the " black person" for NO FUCKING REASON. Nobody would care if he didn't wave this around like a flag. HereBoy has an IQ about equal to a basement wall, and is a wrecking ball to his own community, so, of course, arne gave him super-moderator status. HereBoy has a tendency to drop the Banhammer on anyone at anytime for no reason whatsoever, He also likes to edit peoples signatures and posts to his liking if he finds that they contain M$ or Nintendo FUD. He will also lock any thread that gets past 2 pages, since it must be spam, amirite? Currently banned.

LogicBoy!

A true Internets superhero, LogicBoy! joined the SDF for the sole purpose of mocking HereBoy. HereBoy has been known to frequently edit LogicBoy!'s posts for the purpose of shameless self-promotion. LogicBoy! tracks these occurrences in his signature.

Sony King

Sony King is the other super-moderator of SDF. He loves him some Final Fantasy VII hentai (which usually ends up in his avatar). Discussions with this member always result in a ban.

Bezz

Another moderator? Strange, considering that the forum only has 7 active members. Bezz was promoted to super-moderator status upon joining the SDF, since he gave Ken Kutaragi a blowjob. Not much is known about this guy since he never posts.

sawdog00

OMG WHAT ANOTHER MODERATOR. Has no personality whatsoever, and likes to delete threads without warning. Also suffers from major self-esteem issues[1].

cade

Cade is the equivalent of Michael Moore, except he likes PlayStation 3 instead of liberalism. He will endlessly assault every non-Sony video game machine ever made, and proclaim Ken Kutaragi to be God. An abrasive asshole that is only good for flame wars.

$haka

Poorly disguised sock puppet of cade.

Mexican_Pirate

Also known as Popeye the Sailor Man on SDF. Just as worthless here as he is on ED.

Their unbiased reviews

Apparently, according to the SDF fantards, Halo 3 and Gears of War are somehow "inferior" to Pisszone 3 and Reshitstance 2, despite the fact no matter how hard Pisszone and Reshitstances developers work, they'll never have FUCKING ASSAULT RIFLES WITH CHAINSAW BAYONETS!

Their "Predictions"

The Sony Defense Force apparently skipped grade 2 math, that or they haven't reached that level of schooling yet because they obviously don't know how to read graphs. Claiming the "PS3 as the clear winner" of 2007 sales, which is complete bullshit. As proven by a graph posted on their very own site.

But of course even these retards can harbor false hope for their poor little fucked up PS3. Along with its failing developer and global corporation.

Another hilariously wrong prediction is that the Pisstation 3 will win the console war, despite the fact that it's in last place and the only good game is MGS4 (not really, its a piece of shit game that's more of a movie and is only 13 hours long to beat WTF!! Next gen my ass, Mario was fucking longer). anyways, they allegedly got this information from CNET, which is of course, a lie

	“	SDF towers have scientifically used mathematically complex formulas and algorithms to piece our prediction for the PS3.	„

PROTIP: To win you must come first...
Their petty false hope is amusing.
More hilarious false hope!

External links

Sony Defense Force
SDF Forum (Lulz, taken down after massive trolling cock slapped them)
An example of a completely unbiased review for GTA4

Sony Defense Force is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.