User:Dbaggins/Jacob Zuma

Jacob Zuma—better known by his honorary title Nigger King—is the current president of South Africa. He is perhaps best known his contributions towards The Great War on AIDS, placing his money on the side of AIDS, as well as contributing to so much of the Earth's current population it would make Genghis Khan proud.

Childhood

Ever since Zuma was a small child he always knew he was meant to be something special. However, becoming something special is difficult when you have no formal education. Being home schooled in his muddy yurt, Zuma had plenty opportunity to master ancient techniques of the old kings such as family values, care for children, relationships, and many other social issues.

Politics

When Daddy Blackbux had collected enough STDs to finally compete in the African Gym for his Zulu Gym Badge, he immediately went balls to the wall and threw out his penis for all to observe. He was a mere 17 years old at this time. The sheer number of STDs he had were enough to instantly earn him a place in the African National Congress. However, he still hadn't quite caught the last and greatest STD of all: HIV. It was this, Lil Jacob knew, that would become his life mission and one obstacle stopping him from becoming Lord of the Apes.

External Links

http://www.anc.org.za/list_by.php?by=Jacob%20Zuma

http://guardianlv.com/2013/11/aids-rape-polygamy-corruption-the-life-of-a-president/