Underground Forum

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'Online Martial Arts Community'

The Underground Forum (TUF) is the Internet's biggest online martial arts community. The forum supports the sport of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fandom, grappling, UFC and other sports, which John McCain once said are akin to human cockfighting. However, we all know they are serious win, amirite?

The forum was created in 1998 and has grown to accommodate hundreds of thousands of users and homosexuals. The forum itself has a certain underground feel to it as it supports criminals, violence and men in tights who 'wrassle'.

The architecture of TUF

TUF is made up of various subforums. The most trafficked forums however are the TUF itself and the Otherground (OG) forum. Other forums include International forums, So called Expert Q&A's and General Martial Art forums. The OG forum prides itself on not talking about MMA fandom; however, much drama still ensues since they are the paragon of MMA fagdom.

TUF Culture

TUF forum has many similarities to GameSpot

Users names are separated into different colors so as to befit the apartheid like atmosphere of the forum. Professional Fighters, who have nothing better to do than hang out on line and talk shit to toddlers, are green. Green is a good choice as it is the color of the snot beaten out of the fighters since none of them are good at fighting; just talking about it. Because of the high level of testosterone involved in being a real internet tough guy many flame wars online actually end up in a cage much to the hilarity of armchair generals and gays alike.

Moderators of TUF are red. Some moderators turn off this option off so as to mix it with their lower brethren. Becoming a moderator on a TUF subforum is easy and many known trolls are now moderators. There is also a mysterious 'rogue mod' (Nick May, still being a faygot after all these years) who dishes out avenging angel vigilante bannings on poor MMA fanboys.

Users who pay for extras on the site are blue. The extras included on the site include being able to post HTML and having your name looking like a smurf. Black names are known as mudnamers. Nothing is lower than a mudnamer and you will be reminded of this daily by bluenamers since the forum is simply a model for the oppression of apartheid that was once prevalent in the country of South Africa; home of the creator of the forum, Kirik Jenness.

Anyone with under 1000 posts are also referred to as KKM's (a term for a HMTL spamming troll who went by the misnomer KingKnightmare). The term now lost in the fog of MMA parlance is oft-quoted by fanboys to reaffirm their homosexuality status in the online tribe of penis worshipers. Homosexuals on the forum are also refered to as Romosexuals which is an entirely clever play on the language of Brasil whose people pronounce their R's like H's. Faggots are also called faygots due to their gayness.

Also, if you post on the forum you automatically do the following IRL:

• Bench press 500 pounds.
• Have a 12 inch wang.
• Run a quarter mile in 5 seconds.
• Tap out Rickson Gracie (whoever the fuck he is).
• Eat hand grenades and piss napalm HAHAHA DISREGARD I SUCK COCKS.
• Chug 100 litres of spirits and beer without getting drunk.
• Fuck a bevy of supermodel girlfriends who you refer to as crap.
• Pack a mac-10, espouse street lingo and tell everyone how suburbia is like downtown Los Angeles.
• Are a legendary streetfighter in your home town whose alleged streetfight record is over 9000-0.
• Operate the death star at full capacity.

Notable Users of TUF

Kirik Jenness - Kirik created the MMA board in late 1997. As uber-moderator, is often pictured with a large WWE-esque belt. He has expressed his desire for an ethnically homogeneous society, due to his South African roots as a black oppressor during the height of the apartheid in which Kirik fell in love with an African male. Denouncing his heterosexuality, Kirik moved to the US to experience homogeneous freedom, occasionally working sound crew for the Dave Mathews band.

Dana White - President of UFC. Think Don King without a spine and keeps his grandmother chained to a wall.

Machine May - TUF once had an extraordinary sick fuck moderator named Nick 'Machine' May. Machine May claimed that he was a poor streetfighter who also ran a billionaire dollar sun tanning empire. His lies and attention seeking eventually drove him from the site after he was trolled into submission.

Mr.Zipplokk - 40 something embittered moron who is best known for collecting email addresses of young males on the site for the purpose of sexual harassment via email. Alternately challenges other members to fight or to engage in gay sex. He has had one of his challenges accepted by BIRD, a long time MMA forum member and amateur boxer. This caused Zip to tuck his little pee-pee right between his legs and run off like the scared little girl he is.

RickMassMMA - 5'2" fanboy "MMA Journalist" who thinks he's God's gift to women. Due to his diminutive stature, he possesses a huge inferiority complex, which leads him to threaten the physically handicapped with bodily harm in order to preserve his feeling of manhood (or lack thereof.)

OneManArmy (tm) - Standing at 4 foot, nothing. OneManArmy, otherwise known as OMA is the midwest champion (of the world). He trains with current UFC figher "Handsome" Matt Wiman. OMA suffers severely from a case of little man syndrome. Got permanently banned from the UG for posting a false report of the death of former UFC fighter Kimo Leopoldo. Ironically it was only after OMA posted that Kimo was dead that for the first time ever, people actually gave a flying fuck that Kimo even exists.

Train Judo- Fucktard named Quincy Rice from Michigan who wears hospital scrubs and seems to think he is some kind of badass, but only won one amateur fight and retired, declaring himself one of the greatest fighters in the world. He constantly tries to sound tough and threaten people, but his efforts are pointless as we all know he sucks cock every night. He runs a school of deluded fools who train with him and call themselves the "droogs" which, as everyone knows, is a Spanish word that means "a whale's vagina."

Drama on TUF

Drama on TUF is created by trolls, female attention whores who want to bed pro-fighters, burnt-out fighters who make ridiculous claims about returning to the ring a la Rocky Balboa, 13 year old boys arguing about the deadliness of monkey kung fu, sleazy fight promoters who screw upcoming fighters and just plain ol' homosexual testosterone. There are always scams running on TUF under the guise of an infirmed member needing money for medical bills, an out of work single mother in need of a boost, etc; these are usually transparent efforts to avoid labor at all costs by trolls who use sympathy as a weapon against the stupid and financially stable. A lot of the trolling drama comes from a rival MMA forum entitled Fightsport. Fightsport trolls spend all day mulling over the drama of their TUF-brethren and regularly launch Mongol-style invasions of the forum.

Current Drama

20 year old MMA fanboy Robert Mrotek who posts under the pseudonym "Fearless Goat" allegedly talked trash about professional fighter Chris Brennan in an email to another fighter Guy Mezger. It was later found that trolls may have allegedly stirred up the trouble.

Mrotek was outed by Ryan Lankford for having pled guilty to the criminal offense of sexual assault. He is strongly disliked for his propensity to draw attention to himself and to type in "TTT" literally dozens of times on threads he creates.

KTFO fight promoter Craig Fields who goes under the name "Holla C" doesn't pay fighter Jason Miller and then also challenges UFC boss Dana White to a fistfight. The forum goes up in arms against the fight promoter. Much drama ensues including many of the forum notables supporting the thievery of professional fighters.

There is also a poster named Bill MacPherson who posts as Ike Turner on Fightsport. He is known to obtain the email addresses of others on the Underground and Fightsport and attempt to arrange real-life meetings for the purpose of having gay sex. Several posters from Fightsport have taken him up on his offer, only to be met with an about-face reverse dick-tucking. He currently posts under the Underground handle, "I Drink Man Juice."

TUF's moar retarded brother: The Otherground

Completing the area that with the highest registration of sodomites, the Otherground forum also boasts a large number of disabled persons, black intellectuals, Anti American dissidents, pedophiles, Christians, and other classes of registered sex offenders.

The Otherground forum began as an area where Underground Forum posters could share various topics unrelated to the gay human cock fighting spectacle known as MMA. As it turned out, gay human cock fighting (in relation to the sexual fetish known as sword fighting) was what placed the Otherground on the Internet map.

Dahosse (a TUF member; arrested in May 2005 for stalking retired MMA fighter Ricco Rodriguez in Huntington Beach) attempted to use his well connected political lobbying powers to shut down the OG. However, the Otherground's large consortium of mentally retarded patients, blacks, homosexuals, goat fornicators and NAMBLA members protested. This prompted various affirmative action rights groups, such as the ACLU, the AARP, and KONY 2012, to threatened Kirik with a lawsuit that could have potentially cost many millions to defend.

Following a settlement, Kirik caved and was pressured into deleting the "ARCHIVES" section. This section allowed mods to save classic, high volume threads. Currently only 'blue namers,' or subscription paying members, are allowed to access this section.

HISTORICAL Drama - OG

EVIL YOSHI (screenname is a play off of banned forum member EVILYOSHIDA) built a role playing game titled "Legend of Kirik" in the style of the 8 Bit Famicon/NES, using RPG maker freeware. Notable characters include: CatholicSchoolGirl in a church, CRE as a sub boss who continuously runs off/dicktucks, and Meow Mix as an attention seeking whore who bothers the protagonist, BWS/Big White Sexy, then runs off after attention has been laidened

Other notable OG posters include:

• RefriedJinx - a mexican't who cannot speak mexican. Hates shredded beef tacos and blacks. Known for posting outrageous, weird topics which include the Rich White Fucker who pays random people absurd amounts of monies to engage in perverted, sadistic, and morally challenging acts. Other challenges may require a high level of willpower (i.e., shutting oneself off from television, internet, communication with family for 3 years with a reward of $50 million if successful, however in case of failure, contestant's family and self will be raped by a gang of 20 African American Olympic pole vaulters).
• BIGWHITESEXY - also known as 'BWS.' Actual weight unknown to modern science. Prominent researchers, using photographic study and mathematical algorithms have estimated BWS' weight to be about 43 stone. Other data analysts have questioned how BWS managed to obtain a wife. Further questions permeate as to how an obese Caucasian man was able to father an African-American child. Featured in a popular meme [1] where his wife is sporting a bruised eye (black eye). Professionals agree that the injury came as a result after BWS' wife had not yet constructed a snack for him on that particular day.
• Sagiv Lapkin - a moderator known for his "Geek Question of the Day" threads which act as a racist, malicious front and means of attack to further extreme conservative idealogy. Whilst topics are not exactly clear, threads such as "Hulk vs Heman" and "Godzilla vs Cloverfield" clearly represent race and political figures. For example, Hulk represents the Greenpeace community and Heman the white jewish corporate front. Sagiv has been called out on this in the past but all accusers have been ousted and banned, including top conspiracist EVILYOSHIDA.
• Shen - a ninja of the highest order from the Shen-zen clan of Japan. Was once taken to popular Southern CA chain restaurant Norms by his sons for his birthday, only to have to cover most of the bill. Dated a stripper/escort call girl for whom he claimed did "not ever have sex with her clients" and "is loyal to me." Translated the original story "Heart of the Tortoise" from Japanese to English, which was later adapted to screenplay as "The Karate Kid."
• Steve W. (author of 1,001 recipes for the lover of horse cock) Went on to produce the VooDoo Lounge forum that went defunct after Obamacare passed (as all members tested positive for Down's Syndrome and courted off to proper medical care facilities; In Germany, members were executed as is standard protocol in Deutschland for treatment of citizens with mental retardation. This practice was not retired despite the annexation of the Third Reich under the rule of Hitler)
• EVILYOSHIDA - a caucasian, American based economist currently living in China known for his advanced data analysis skills, knowledge of world history and events, social structures, economic models, and race relations. Wrote a compelling thesis about the Asian phallic organ, claiming that what it lacks in size, is made up in hardness. Awarded the Nippon Excellence Award from the University of Tokyo for achievements in Asian phallic research. Claims that korean women have the healthiest, and therefore largest calves, which may be the asian man's only defense against the negro fast twitch muscle. Does not hate Jews, but often reports negative news that cast the Jewish people in a negative light. Predictions about the rising acceptance of Pedophilia have come true.
• Breezy (AKA The madam Heiss of Internet Attention Whoredom) Claims to date men of all races, but often links her okcupid/match.com profile revealing % matches that clearly show she only dates Negroes and fat senior citizens who are willing to pay what it takes to get some.
• Redneck (obsessed with all things reptilian) The current provocateur of Conspiri-tardism on the OG. Claims citizenship to Australia. Believes all past and current American presidents have genetic ties to the reptilian race.
• SergeK (likes Eastern European women; posted his desktop with 'TRANNY' folder in plain view) likes shota; Currently posting as 'Active Measures.' Has claimed since the mid 2000s that he has been 'losing weight.' However, bra size, waist and bullshit circumference have not changed since 1999.
• ArtWanderlei (moderator of the pro wrasslin forum; claimed that FedEx confiscated his WWF toys; proud president of the Wisconsin NAMBLA chapter) UNBANNED as of 25 July 2012. Had Vitamin D deficiency but was cured by the Macho Man's spirit in passing.
• Gritty - Maine's biggest and only Laker fan. Continues family business traditiona as pizza cook for an unnamed chain of Pizza restaurants in Maine. Hates when customers use ATM Debit cards or ask for ranch sauce (unsupplied by the Pizza restaurant). Sued by Hidden Valley Ranch for repeated slander (this case was settled). Repeatedly claims that his wife is off to watch various concerts, but 'we' know what's REALLY going on, pizza boy...
• angryinch - winner of the 2008 Ugliest Man Alive competition. Defaulted on Chrysler Crossfire and Epiphone Les Paul payments. Made fun of by Japanese people. Claims that the only good cop is a dead cop. Has been on habitual unemployment since 2007 due to a technical glitch in the Federal and Florida state computer database systems.
• Mr Pibb - a new member claiming allegiance to the popular soft drink. Once discovered a gerbil (or rodent) up his anus and used the pseudonym "Dick Gere" when checking into a hospital. This lead to rumors that actor Richard Gere (former husband of actress Cindy Crawford) had inserted a rodent into his anus for great pleasure.
• Rouge Mod - formerly known as Fraser; an extreme liberal mod who swears allegiance to the greater African American community despite his Caucasian ethnicity. Also known to be an extreme apologist due to white guilt. Once banned prominent forum members RefriedJinx, Grittys and Andre for minimal reasons most likely as a semblance of reparations to African Americans, whose history comprises of slavery in the better part of the 18th and 19th century of the United States, for whom are all dead and unable to receive Fraser's now expired reparations.
• Chris80cent - Rose to fame after claiming to have fornicated with popular plus size model Kate Upton. Posted grainy pictures, but in actuality, was a front to expose his own penis to the mostly gay majority of OG members. Ousted from the forum by the OG troll patrol which included prominent members ArtWanderlei, PeteyWheatstraw, 10marlons and others.
• PeteyWheatstraw - formerly posted various appended sections from his various Hollywood scripts that did not ever receive solicitation that garnered him notoriety on the OG. Other members claim that Petey is actually Paul Walker of the "Fast and the Furious" famed franchise. Petey claims NOT to be ArtWanderlei. Following the death of Paul Walker, PeteyWheatstraw has not posted on the Otherground Forum.
• Andre - (Armenian in origin) a defender of Baristas worldwide. Originator of the famed character "Jason Tornado" from his screenplay titled 'The Consequentalist." Moved his wife and self to Brazil to pursue a career as a professional poker player. Found that Brazil is known for jujistu and tranvestites, not poker. Decided to give up on life after finding very few Starbucks in the famed Portugese speaking country. Known for his calves which has allowed the Armenian to achieve some notoriety as a softcore porn actor for calf fetishists across the globe. Came back to life after inhaling Brazilian sausages.

Notable Pass Members:

• ABE FROMAN (when abbreviating first name, known as "AFROMAN", a million dollar negro who invented the spinner chrome rim)
• Shamrock1Fan (a homeless 17 year old state champion wrestler, forced to have sex with men for money)
• Souljacker (moderately liberal black man who buys bikes for local needy asian kids in his Bay Area neighborhood but complained that despite his good deeds, did not acquire any sexual relations from kids' mothers as gratitude)
• Musashi, (Bay Area, CA musician who plays bass; suffers from alopecia and grand delusions boasting superior IQ and intellect; considered a 'genius' troll who reportedly uses his intellect to bait 'lesser IQ' members into heated troll fueled discussions)
• Grady (A self declared artists and hipster of african American and Japanese ancestry who is criticized for speaking broken Japanese; considered the voice of Asia to the Otherground)
• GrapplerHK (routinely called Grappler-H-GAY. considered one of the initial 'Conspiri-tards' on the OG and rarely posts due to possible real threats by the Iluminati and/or reptilians if too much information is revealed)
• One Man Army (OMAtm) (runaway genetic clone of Herv Villechaiz; world champion Oklahoma Mixed Martial Artist; has had sex with over 10,000 women, and 1,000,000 men) retired from internet life after trolling the internets and winning the top prize by claiming that former professional MMA fighter Kimo Leopoldo had passed due to heart attack)
• ShootFighterMike (fattest man living in Pompano Beach, Florida; wife left him after 15 years of marriage - OGers surprised she waited that long)
• KirbyLovesTacos (one of the stars of TLC's Fattest Teen series; died in the 5th season due to severe obesity and irrational fear of ArtWanderlei)
• tjmitch (the most average member by far made even averager by sporting a bowl hair cut)
• Jordan Lynch (mentally challenged 20-something male who was adopted by Kirik for sexual purposes and pill testing; submitted the Jordan Lynch Body Off competition to the Special Olympics and still waiting approval)
• Alex Wysocki (injected growth hormone into penis to achieve average penis size; dropped out of Jordan Lynch body-off competition)
• The People's Knee (Winner of the Ugliest Man Alive competition in 2006, 2007, and 2009: retired; claimed that Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson used his likeness to depict fictional character Smeagol in Jackson's Lord of the Rings films; Case was settled out of court and included an injunction banning the use of Smeagol as a character or reference in the recent 'The Hobbit' film trilogy)
• Retard (Recently released from prison for unlawfully collecting social security benefits with unsupported claims of mental retardation; formerly dated breezah; admitted to fornicating legally with 17 year old females in Texas as held by state laws of consent, and the Holy Quaran)
• SisterSteel (transsexual voice of the OG; recently completed transition of woman to man with clitoris size increasing to 4 inches after steroid abuse, matching AWysocki's growth hormone penis goal; claims that women hit on her more than men because they "want to surf her forbidden waters" which, when chemically broken down in a lab, consists of astroglide, diet mountain dew, growth hormone, and hot dog juices)
• McDonald's Fan/Mick Donald's Fan/McD's fan/KKM (Quite possibly the only heterosexual on the OG; a highly respected fast food journalist and disabled veteran studied by prominent scientists worldwide after appearing on 80s variety show 'That's Incredible' of claims to a congenital third penis near his mouth; Outed to the world by the amazing Randy as a fraud on the Tonight Show
• OGTT (Otherground Top Team - a band of miscreant homosexuals who clout their 'top' position in various man-on-man relationships; claims of world domination have fallen short of even 1/100,000,000,000% of planned goals; due to this, scientists and researchers have surmised that the OGTT are most likely 'power bottoms')
• Evil Master (A conspiracy retard, in the truest sense of the word. EVERYTHING is a conspiracy, and no amount of knowledge will change his mind. Loves to leave threads unanswered, ignores questions, and is hated by everyone but a handful. His inverted penis is a sight for sore eyes when walking around in assless chaps in the style of folk musician Prince)

See Also

• Professional Wrestling