Scenewhore

Scenewhores come in many flavors, with the two major ones being defined in this article. Amazingly enough, not all scenewhores are, in fact, women. They can commonly be found on jailbaitgallery.com

Scenesters

As the sobriquet would imply, a scenester is a type of scenewhore who is wholly immersed in the scene of a particular subculture or clique. They go to all of that scene's clubs, bars and hang-outs, dress exclusively in its "uniform" and listen only to its music. Most scenesters tend not to associate or be friends with those outside their chosen scene, and some will even take up jobs that are scene-centric (barista at a scene's favorite coffee house, for example, or sales person at a scene-dominated record store).

While most people associate scenesters with the emo, goth and hippie sets, in truth almost all subcultures possess their version of scenesters. Certain jocks, for instance, will only frequent sports bars and only dress in athletic or athletic-esque attire; some will even get jobs as little league coaches, gym teachers, or pedophiles.

Travel Scenewhores

For many travel writers, the worst thing that could ever happen is a place turns into a filthy tourist trap. "OH NO, ALL THE FREAKING CULTURE IS GONE, THIS PLACE IS JUST SOULLESS MAN" These travel writers now have to pay $7 for a fucking hamburger, which is the end of the world.

Solutions: First, the writer will try to claim the spot as theirs. For example, "Oh you stupid dumbshit tourists, I visited that little Greek Island and got five different kinds of sexually transmitted diseases from eating deep fried pigeon like 100 years ago and now there's all these losers there! I was there before it was cool!"

Once said writer realizes that nobody gives a fuck where they've been, they shall find a new place to frequent. The search for new breeding grounds is a perpetual quest for Travel Writers, and each time it drives them to a new low. Travel Writers will search for a small island or province in China inhabited by two hunchbacked lesbian Chinese farmers. They will spend five minutes there, enough time to eat boiled ox penis, then leave. Next week, they will say that the place is an "undiscovered haven"; a "hidden treasure" and the likes. And the cycle continues.

Hack_Scenewhores

A hack_scenewhore is a sad individual (usually female in body or spirit) who, for some reason not dissimilar to cretinism, chooses to believe the media's chattery hype about those devilish hackers and their hacky ways. Arming themselves with their step-dad's broken Dell laptop and an ISDN modem, they instantly fancy themselves as having joined their exalted ranks, having become premier denizens of a little-publicized, endlessly-intriguing "underground world". Masturbating compulsively from the sheer exhilaration of their cyber-apotheosis leaves them little time or energy to actually learn anything about computers, or even talk to anyone who does know something about them. In time, such delusions inevitably give either sex a good, hard shove down the well-lubricated road to raging faggotry.

Male scenewhores do exist, of course, though they are harder to spot than their empussyed counterparts. Generally, these small, yummy boys lurk in publicly-accessible IRC channels, boasting slowly (they can only type with one hand, the other being wedged permanently in their rectums) of their "k-rad machines" and "l33t warez." These lamers sometimes osmosis up just enough buzzword terminology to camouflage themselves indefinitely, proudly serving as the loudest critics of "nubs" and "lamers" so as deflect attention away from their own woeful ignorance, thus preserving their fragile egos and e-dentities.

The Hack_Scene Scenewhore Test

Do you personally own more than one computer?
Do you personally own more than two technical computer books?
Do you know what an operating system is?
Have you operated on more than one operating system, not including Windows 95?
Do you have Root?
Can you name at least four different operating systems?
Do you know any software language other than html & visual basic 5?
Have you been to any computer conventions / seminars and attended every track?
Do you know the four major components of the UNIX operating system?
Do you know the command in *nix o/s to display a listing of all filenames including hidden files?

If you answered "no" to two or more of these questions, then you fall into the "I don't know a goddamn thing about computers; I'm still using AOL...and what the hell is *nix anyway?" category. Obviously, you're not a hack_scenewhore.