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Samsara

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Samsara is the 169th sockpuppet of Jacknstock, who is always getting banned for mod sass since CrayolaCrime banhammered him. This Canadian fuckwit is prone to starting retarded edit wars with everyone on ED because he is a huge butt-hurt faggot. He is incredibly careful with his IP address, utilizing proxies to hide his identity, probably because he doesn't want anyone to know he lives in New Jersey, OH SHI-! After dissing loldongs on ED IRC, Sammy was banned by Caelum in the summer of 2006. He made the accounts User:AnHeroIsSpeltWrong and User:RoundHouseKickToTheFace to hide his shame, and edit war with a confirmed furry. He got banned for being an unrepentant drama llama and for incorrigible mod sass.

He edited Wikipedia under the name Anomo. Unsurprisingly, Wikipedia didn't put up with his bullshit either, and he got pwned by Jayjg for trying to run 9000 socks at once. He tried to nominate Gary Weiss for adminship [1] but this was detected as trolling and fail. However he should be remembered as being a true martyr for the lulz, for he impersonated the former ED admin Hardvice on TOW [2], and earned a community ban for his good work. (This is identical to a normal ban except with shaming) This was only after he had spammed thousands of emails to various bureaucratic fucks, disrupted the amoral ED VFD, and uploaded his mugshot the day after release from internet jail, much to MONGO's distress.

Don't quit your day job

   
 
This is the beginning of a short story I'm working on. Please give me some feedback. I'm interested in style aspects especially.

Driving on the freeway, John pushed to 95, passed another granny. Now in the left lane, a car was coming up like a brick wall. Time to brake. A quick sweep of lanes dodged the snail. Then changed back to the fast lane and off he went. Zooming by other cars like scenery, the trip kept going.

Rushing by, a sign lowered the speed limit from 65 to 55. 55? John felt it was an insanely low speed for a freeway. Someone should outlaw it. Raise them all to 75. He briefly considered painting a one in front of that number, but he roared by. The sign quickly vanished from his rear view mirror.

Dodging and passing everybody, his car went under an overpass. The event barely registered his consciousness; it went by too quick.

In the car's mirrors, a car raced toward him. Was that another speeder? Maybe someone wants a race. He fingered the button for his nitro.

The speeder behind him gained. John decided to wait until it was beside him before flipping the nitro. Now only a few cars behind, John wondered if it was a taxi. Perhaps some poor sucker was so late that he or she paid a taxi to speed to their destination. Oh no, that thing above the car was not for a taxi.

Suddenly, the advancing car's lights flashed and a siren shrilled. What was he to do? Fingering the nitro, John considered a race.

 


 
 

—Samsara, Young Writers Yahoo Group

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See also