S-Malone

I think I just died inside.

S-Malone is your every day original arist and deep poet. Did I mention he's a Happy Tree Friends-obsessed basement dweller on deviantART, and seemingly being divorced from reality in every way possible? S-Malone (or more commonly referred to as "Slappy", the name of his abomination furfag of a fan character) brings fantard to a level only seen in nightmares covered in horse shit. He portrays himself as a virgin Christian California Sea Lion named Slappy, who apparently has super powers.

The Madness Begins

In May of 2008, we were introduced to Slappy, a character with all the charm of an ass tumor and the thought-provoking back story of a sack premature horse balls. Autistic, fucking shaved, mutilated, burned-beyond-return horse balls, that is. Sure, fan characters of pretty much anything are the spawn of Satan himself and should be avoided at all times, but the sheer stomach-wrenching horror this blight against the human race has produced is so unbelievably bad that it falls into a category all its own.

	“	Ok my real name is stephen a while back i made this here magic portal to see my friend Natters but i stayed there in Happy Tree Friend land to long so days later i tured into a Happy Tree Friend i still don't kown why, Sniffles did builed me a portal to take me home and with a little help from my magic it worked but instead of takeing me home it set me 20 years into the future for a sort time there i met Byrants,Natters,Nicks,Sabrinas and even my own children but when i got back something went wrong with it,It blowed up and killed me and Sniffles so now the odds of me geting home are low,So now i'm Slappy,Slappy is a white male sea lion he wears a wetsuit a diving mask and a diveing cylinder unlike most happy tree friends i live in the sea,I'm a good swimer and i have trouble lifting objects cuz i ain't got no fingers but i can still draw good and Natters and my other happy tree friends have to help me with that and i'm also immortal and i have vast magicle powers,Slappy maybe the most powerful character in Happy Tree Friend land besides Slendid and Sabrina.	„

But as if the journal wasn't already ATROCIOUS ENOUGH, the comments on the journal depicted him answering and replying to all comments in character, horrific spelling and grammar included. Yes, this idiot ACTUALLY seems to think he's a hideously-drawn, horridly-conceived anthropomorphic seal.

A stroke of brilliant commenting, as always.

He is also a major ass kisser. Sucking up to Surfersasquatch10 and Charlieroxz. He constantly demands Charlieroxz to draw him requests. Once Roxz had given in and drawn the faggot a pic regreting. He constantly demands requests off of Roxz, abusing her kindness and generosity. He also takes advantage of everyone else giving out requests. Making them draw his Mary-sue character. And YES MARY-SUE. Because he doesn't deserve Gary-stu.

The Rise of Evil

"Mwahahahaha! With my confetti streamers of death, the world will soon be mine!"

As if his horrid character and god-awful back story wasn't enough, we were later introduced to Evilly, a villain only conceivable by a severely mentally challenged 4th grader.

	“	This is Evilly Slappys archenemy he is the most evil being in Happy Tree Friend land he wants to turn Happy Tree Friend land into Hateful Tree Friend land and make Happy Tree Friends his slaves,Slappy use to work for him until he broke free of his mind control thats how he got his powers from him,Slappy is trying his best to beat him so he won't take over.	„

Rest in peace, proper punctuation. You will be sorely missed...

The Epic Battle

May 31st saw the release of the simply titled comic of Brian and Slappy vs. Evilly, a comic SO revolutionary it did away entirely with the concept of text boxes, movement, dialogue, and, well, pretty much anything telling a story. But before we show you this epic groundbreaking saga, we shall give you the backdrop into this powerful emotional roller coaster. Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you...The Rise of Evil...

	“	1,000 years ago Happy Tree Friend land was ruled by flying squirrels,Sabrinas parents where the rulers of the planet at the time,The planet was beautiful and peaceful for hundreds of years until he came Evilly the crule and evil ruler of Nightmare land where he came from no one knew but one thing was clear he wanted to make Happy Tree Friend land and the rest of the world his so he used hes demons,robots and the bodys of the deceased Happy Tree Friends he made them into demons under his control soon all of the world became at war,He used some machine to spead Kryptonut radation all over the world soon most of the flying squirrels died from it,At this point Happy Tree Friend land was in serious danger the once beautiful,peaceful land was now in ruins millons of Happy Tree Friends died in the war,Sabrina parents froze Sabrinas body in ice and put her in some lead machine to save her from Evilly and the Kryptonut radation her parents where then murdered by Evilly as he took over,1,000 years latter Slappy and Zeff found Sabrina and freed her then Zeff and Sabrina fell in love with each other Slappy met there son in the future,Just as all hope seemed lost some unkown wizard possibily Brians ancester did a spell and defeated Evilly and his demons althougt he could not destroy Evilly he imprisoned him in some magic crystal,Now Evilly has somehow escaped and its up to Brian,Sabrina,Slappy and all there friends to stop him.	„

And now, onto the epic saga of...Brian and Slappy vs. Evilly.

Note: Any and all semblance of a (horrible) story is told entirely in the description on DA.

Brian and Slappy are ready to face Evilly they battle hundreds of his demons and robots til they finally get in Evilly's castle then they meet Evilly,To be continued.

Brian and Slappy battle the dark lord Evilly they put up a good fight but Evilly easily defeats them but before he can deliver the final blow Natters, Silfer and a pissed off Sabrina break into his castle,To be continued.

After Brian and Slappy were defeated by Evilly its now up to Sabrina to stop him,Evilly tries to hit her with his death ray but she flies out of the way and it hits Silfer and turns him into a pile of ash the battle continues.

Sabrian is hit by Evilly's ray and falls on natters crushing her just as all hope seemed lost Wopter shows up and grabs Brians sword then Slappy uses his powers on Brians sword making it far more powerful then Wopter stabs Evilly then he starts to blow up Slappy then teleports Brian,Jordan,Sabrina,Wopter, Xenny and himself to safety as Evilly explodes.

The Obsession Continues

Even more brilliant commenting.

Slappy is known not only to be a deluded retard living in an imaginary world within a crappy Flash cartoon nobody cares about, but he's also been shown to be a self-centered egomaniac. He regularly brags about how powerful he is (despite being nothing more than a loser with no life and a warped sense of reality), even going so far as to whore himself out in his so-called "gift-arts." But wait, what does his profile say about this?

   * Current Age: Immortal
   * Current Residence: Cleveland, Georgia
   * Interests: Drawing,Swiming and fishing.
   * Favourite movie: Star Wars
   * Favourite band or musician: I don't kown.
   * Favourite artist: Me
   * Favourite style of art: Happy Tree Friends
   * Shell of choice: Scallop
   * Wallpaper of choice: White
   * Skin of choice: Don't care
   * Favourite game: I've got all kinds.
   * Favourite gaming platform: PlayStation 2
   * Favourite cartoon character: All the HTF characters
   * Personal Quote: I'll seal your fate!
   * Tools of the Trade: My mouse and my right flipper.

Wow, that sure was modest, wasn't it? Certainly, there's no way this guy is a psychotic dweeb with an ego the size of Canada! </sarcasm>

It is believed that association with Slappy will either make you realize just what kind of fucking stupidity you've gotten yourself into and bring you to stop, or it will reveal just what a fucking inbred load of mentally-challenged pond scum you are if you continue to put up with him. Be it his ego, shitty artwork, horrendous writing, or general creepiness, by now most of his former "friends" have left him behind them, walking away a lot wiser knowing that they could follow the same fate. And yet, there's still a load of idiots who not only continue to put up with and socialize with him, but even in some cases producing fanart for him. That's right. This moron has FANART! If that doesn't make you fear for mankind's future, than nothing, and we mean nothing will.

Other Notable Gems

Great! Now I lost my appetite!

Slappy's monstrous ego and unwillingness to take any form of critique continues to lead him down the path of luzliness. His artwork and story-telling is still as retarded as ever, and he still refuses to undertake any sort of improvement and keeps staying to his tried-and-true method of producing high-grade dogshit.

One notable, and seemingly discontinued, project called Master of Evil, where we see for the first time the full-scale of his literary ineptitude. Though due to the intervention of a user on DA, all the errors were fixed, producing a more refined and sadly far less lulzy version ([1]) But don't be sad, because we've done the honor of preserving this abortion against literature for your viewing pleasure. The following below is the actual story in its original form. No editing, no revisions, no shit.

Slappy Presents… The master of evil (By S-Malone) Chapter 1:The master After Terra THE QUEEN OF NIGHTMARES was defeated little did the demon slayers kown a far grater threat was growing that would destroy all life. Slappy was haveing one of his visons then Brian came into the room very angry. Brian: Slappy Where the hell were you we could have used your help!? Slappy opens his eyes. Slappy:Oh no this can't be! Brian:What?Slappy:Uh nothing Brian i hope so.Brian: You hope so Slappy did you see something?Slappy:No Brian i did'nt see you and the demon lord destroying-Damn it just forget what i said!Slappy walks out the room,Weeks later.Brian:I'm telling ya Cream Slappy saw something bad but he won't tell me what he saw.Cream:Slappy has been acting weird lately.Brian:He said someing about a demon lord.Cream a demon lord whos that?Then the power gos out.Brian:What?Cream:What happened to the power?Brian:Blue!Blue:What?Brian:Is this some kinda joke!?Blue:No Brian see the swich is still on.Brian:Wait wheres Slappy?Destructo man:I bet hes responsible for this i still can't believe you let that stupid sea lion join us!Brian:I'll tell ya what i'm about to club me a seal!Destructo man:Well lets find him.Brian:split up.Brian hears Slappy voice.Brian:What Slappy are you in there?Slappy:No go away!

Crushing Fetish

Just when you thought you'd seen the worst. Just when you thought Slappy couldn't make himself look like an even bigger failure, he finds some way to outdo himself. Around July 3rd of 2009, it was revealed that Slappy has a crushing fetish. Through his artwork and comments, it was made public that he is sexually aroused by the idea of being crushed by a woman's foot. Some comments proving are as follows:

	“	"If I was a spider, I'd like for you to step on or sit on me."	„

	“	"I'd like to see you smashed between her toes, spiderfag."	„

	“	"Oh come on if where that small wouldn't you like to be crushed by a hot chick?Theres no better death then that."	„

What's worse is that he actually wrote an erotic fanfiction about it, using other user's OCs without their permission and portraying them grossly out of character. Those of you willing to see natural selection disproved once and for all, please read the carefully preserved and creatively titled Shrink Seal.

	“	Veribear:Yay,Its finally done my shrink ray,With this i can shrink whoever the hell i want! Veribear:*Walks on the beach* Veribear:Now who shall i shrink first? Slappy:*bleaches out loudly* Veribear:*Slimes evilly* Slappy:*Drinks beer*Yeah,That hits the spot! Veribear:Slappy! Slappy:Hi Veribear,Wanna ship? Veribear:No.*Shoots Slappy with shrink ray* Slappy:*Starts to shrink* Slappy:Holy shit! Slappy:Veribear look what you've done,*Looks at gaint bottle*You've got me all the beer i can ever drink! Veribear:gotcha!Veribear slams her massive foot down on Slappy but is unable to crush him on the soft sand* Veribear:Damn,Slappy can you go lay down on a hard serfaus? Jingles:Hey Veribear wanna build a sand castle? Veribear:Sure right after i...Damn it where'd he go!? Jingles:What? Veribear:Oh uh...A little white beetle. Jingles:Ewww,I hate bugs but there so crunchy. Slappy:I got to get out of here!*Gets chased by a sea gull* Slappy:Oh no,*Jumps into a can on the ground* Slappy:That was close! Giggles:*Cleaning up the beach,Sticks her litter stick into the can almost stabing Slappy inside of it and then throws Slappy in the trash* Slappy:How could this get any worse!? Lumpy:*Shows up* Slappy:Oh fuck! Lumpy:*Throws the trash bag in his dump truck and drives away* Slappy:Holy crap!!!*covers nose* Lumpy:*Stops at red light* Slappy:I'm so out of here!*Jumps out of dump truck* Slappy:Yay!*Almost gets hit by a speeding car*Ass hole! Slappy:*Walks in a field of flowers which to him is like a jungle*This sucks i'm an inch high,My powers ain't working and Everyone is trying to crush me and everything is trying to eat me! Then a frog jumps out of the grass and trys to eat Slappy* Slappy:*Runs for his life* The frog gets scared and hopes away* Slappy:Huh?*Slappy still runing runs into Wopters foot* Slappy:*Looks up and sees Wopter*Meep. Wopter:What a huge bug,I will squash it. Slappy:*Trys to run away but trips on a pebble so he rolls out of the way,Nearly being crushed* Wopter:*Lifts up his foot*Aww man i lost him,Oh well. Slappy:*Climbs up Wopters pants and hides in his pockets,To avoid being seen* Wopter:*Walks back to his house* Slappy:*Looking out of his pockets,Slappy sees Veribears house* Slappy:Theres where i need to go.*Slappy crawls down Wopters leg* Slappy:Now i need to sneak in there and get that ray gun but how,Hmmm. Slappy:*Climbs up a tree gets on the roof and crawls down the ventalation*Now all i got to do is get big again,Get my powers back and raise some hell! But then the air comes on and blows Slappy out the vent* Slappy:Aaahhhh!!!*Slappy falls out the vent and get knocked out on the floor* Girls giggle* Slappy:Huh?Oh no,No,No!Slappy is surrounded by Veribear,Jingles,Pichupet and Flippine. Veribear:Slappy what are you doing at are slumber party? Slappy:I uhhhh...Uhh oh forget it!*Runs for the door but Veribear pins him down under her foot. Slappy:*Nervously*Wha...What are you going to do. Veribear:Well we're bored so we're going to play with you. Veribear:Oh girls,Lets show this pathetic pinniped what we're made of. Jingles:*Hee hee hee* Pichupet:Its been nice knowing you Slappy. Flippine:Bye,Bye. The girls lift up there feet* Slappy:*Face goes pale*Then he gets crushed under foot by Veribear,Jingles,Pichupet and Flippine into a bloody mess.	„

Once this fiction was made public, Veriear's owner,Veridiann, was, like any sane human being, displeased with her character being used without her consent and used as OOC fetish fuel. So she demanded her character be removed or have the story taken down. Slappy complied and replaced her character with Twisted-Hope's fursona, again without permission, and evoked the same results. Only this time, when Twisted-Hope demanded THREE times to have her character removed, he ignored her. It took Veridiann's posting of a journal dedicated to bashing him in order for him to take down the story altogether, which was met with much applause and cheers from the less-retarded wing of the HTF-fanbase. After becoming yet again subject of near-universal ridicule for his sick fetish, he tried to become "tough" by trying (and failing miserably) at trolling.

Pedophile life

His true form.

On the Happy Tree Friends Social Site S-malone claimed to be 'in love' and 'wanting to hit' 13 year old Charlieroxz.

This is creepy and lulzy because Malone claims to be 20 and Roxz claims to be 13 and in a relationship.

One of his SICK AS FUCK QUOTES about Charlieroxz's 'rack'-

	“	Yeah rocks may be a bitch but she has a 'hell of a nice rack' have you seen those tits?! DAMN they are huge! I wanna fuck so bad! shes like Daisy Dukes! Only younger! turns me on. ~S-malone	„

He showed his pedo when he said he 'wanted to fuck roxz',that she has a 'nice rack', and he would hold her down and fuck her on the spot if he ever saw her. He also said she was a Sexy Norwegian Asian with a hot Filipino mother. Although he claimed that she was also a clueless hoe and a bitch. He also knows Roxz's last name and her hometown. And looks forward to when she comes to his state so he can fuck his 'Sexy Norwegian'. According to this our Pedo Senses should be tingling.

Links

The page detailing the gradual fall of this moron's sanity. (ABANDONED due to being butthurt)

S-Malone is part of a series on DeviantART Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.