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ObjectiveMinistries
Objectiveministries.org is an apparently serious (but nonetheless satirical) Christian fundamentalist site that provides lots of lulz because noone is totally sure of its veracity.
Attempt to take over the Internets
This says it all:
- The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation 12 3 - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hate speech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.
They are like trying to shut down sites like Landover Baptist and have called YTMND a terrorist organization, but they will never succeed because everyone can see how fucktarded they are. (They even believe there are still dinosaurs).
Evidence that the folks at Objective Ministries are batshit insane
More on the subject of dinosaurs: "Although exceedingly rare, living dinosaur and related species can still be found world wide. Some famous examples are the Loch Ness Monster, a Scottish plesiosaur (or leviathan); Mokele-Mbembe, an African sauropod; and the Chupacabra, a South American Velociraptor. This obviously proves that man and dinosaur have existed -- and continue to exist -- contemporaneously." Obviously. These twats (who make even furries seem perfectly reasonable in comparison) also say that all dinosaurs were plant-eaters, and that attempts to portray tyrannosaurs in a slightly realistic fashion (i.e., Jurassic Park) are part of a conspiracy to turn America into a secularist state, or something equally dire.
Some experts believe that viewing the ObjectiveMinistries website can cause a person to lose at least 100 brain cells per second. Naturally, anyone who disagrees with these fucktards is labeled a terrorist. In response to a DVD entitled The God That Wasn't There, these idiots posted the following on their website: "If your church is targeted, we urge you to take the matter seriously and report the incident to The Department of Homeland Security. While the fliers and poorly produced DVDs may seem like some juvenile prank pulled by Secularized teens, the people doing these acts of domestic terrorism are part of an axis of anti-Christianity that is aligned with bioterrorists who seek to wipe out 90% of humanity with Ebola virus. We cannot stress strongly enough that you should not open any of the DVD cases as it is unknown what sort of agents or improvised devices might be inside."
Their website is so creepy in its fucktardedness that it remains a distinct possibility that the site is meant only as means of generating lulz. They are, however, already an old meme, and so must move on to lemonparties if they want people to pay any more attention to them. A variation of the Fifty Hitler Post incorporating either Muhammad or Darwin would be an amusing way of if you should encounter one of these people on the Internets.
Interesting facts
- Ann Coulter has personally blown every single member of ObjectiveMinistries.
- Every contributor to their site is a certified attention whore.
- A public statement from Jesus called the ObjectiveMinistries staff "...ass-munching, vapid twats who seriously need to get laid and stop being pot-smoking losers who steal. And stop hijacking My faith, damn it."
- The Jews, faggots, and black person all fund ObjectiveMinistries, in the hopes that it will make people think that all of Christianity must be batshit insane.
- The T. rex is an herbivore. The image of the carnivorous T. rex is secularist propaganda.
- Atheists reject god because of their affinity for coffee.
Stupid products
- Laughing Jesus thong.
- Sperm bumper sticker.
- Ugly baby products.
- Hindu-hater products.
- Atheist converting shirts.
- Kanga JEW?
- Mommy, why did the gays steal a symbol of God's love for us?
Related links
- Cross in Space.
- Big Brother Church Watch.
- Christian Exodus.
- Fucktarded stuff 4 kids.
- OMG CHRISTIAN UNDERGROUND!!!
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ObjectiveMinistries is part of a series on Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage. |