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Matsu-sensei
—Matsu, expressing his awesomeness. | ||
They have invaded our internetz. Desensitized our very way of life while ramming down Pocky like a two cent Vietnamese whore. While all of them deserve nothing more than a swift power-fist to the cunt, Matsu-sensei requires some extra dosages. The man isn't nearly as confused as some of our other sweet, sweet lul cows, but he's still as ass backwards as they come. His existence is full of controversy and confusion. Sometimes you just gotta man up and admit you wish you had a box
Origins of Fail
Matsu-sensei is an amazing artist on DeviantART who claims to have superb skillz and win on the internets. While everyone CLEARLY knows this is 100% true in all respects, he is as close-minded as the fetishists he speaks out against, such as Blue-Leader and other nefarious deities. He is currently attempting to secretly run the course of Snapesnogger via the usage of large, cancerous tumors to spread his ways, in an eerily similar way to how the Third Reich was started. Heil, mein chesties?
In the Beginning...
It is rumored that he began life not as an actual baby, but merely crawled his way out of a cavernous pit as a pathetic shell of life. It did not take long to home in on a target, though: A little, busty schoolgirl. Mouth dripping with saliva, he reached forth like a powerful leech, sucking her chest and soul dry like a milkshake, soon fully growing into an awesome man. Realizing his true potential to rule the internet with promises of his power, he sought to defy physics and gravity upon a normal basis, hypnotizing weaklings like himself to establish a fanbase of pure win.
Here and Now
At this point in time, our Bringer of Breasts is serious business. However, unlike most of our favorite celebrities here on ED, Matsu seems to be actually TRYING to present himself with a different image (we can seeeeeeee it from the sweat on his powerful illustrations) by drawing up not only furries from his favorite show, but also how he sees characters from Team Fortress 2. However, if this is any hint on where he's taking this, it is terrifying to see what he will bless the Pyro with his touch.
As Creative as a Block of Wood
He seems to be obsessed with breasts, and more breasts (possibly a side of bacon). That's pretty much it. Some have attempted to question his antics, but have fallen prey to unknown means, never to be seen again. In the rare occasion he believes to sit down and recharge, he attempts to draw witty and timeless memes believing it will bring about much humor. So far his fanbase has gobbled it up, deluding him into believing he will soon be able to create a new religion based on his love of breasts and bacon. While lulzy at best, the threat he could have upon the tubes is very serious, potentially greasing them up with fanboi sweat and bacon grease to literally make us all dribbling, obese slaves for him to mesmerize.
Along with his unending desire for tumors, he appears to have a sekrit transgender fetish in the form of one of his characters, Mattie (Ha ha, they'll nevah know it's me. OC guyz, amirite?)
Sekrit fetishes
Transgender? Lordy, PLEASE. :D
As was stated before, he seems to have a "secret" transgender fetish which is apparent in his multiple drawings in which he depicts a female version of himself, going so far as to making animated avatars about how he would wish for it to happen. (now in 125x125 forum size, and 80x80 too!)
It is rumored he hates other transgenders, flying into an unholy state of rage whenever encountering one, or merely creating complex schemez to hide his ideals... but fear not! We at ED have brought you a public "explanation" along with a little surprise.
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So subtle, good sir... -
...but how do you explain this?
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I can has BE too?
He also has a BE fetish, but anyone can see that from his sight. The obvious need not be stated, considering the insane amount of mind-boggling chest sizes on his site along with being a prominent member at a fetish website called The Process Forum (having TWO accounts!).
We can have delicious flat chests as well!
While not technically an OPEN fetish, it's rumored that all of his actions are attempts to hide the most secret fetish of all: His true desire to sex up another man. People have yet to find a trace of actual evidence to support this claim other than the heavy influence of reverse psychology, but it is only a manner of time before the poor lad cracks and shows himself. Moar DFC prz!!
It's okay to not be yourself!... wait a minute...
Denial of interests
He appears to have a hatred for his own kind, but when confronted about being one himself... well, we can't have logic stand in the way of our appearance! Oh noez guys, he has an ACTUAL JAPANESE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. Say what? O.O
Of course! As such, he has any and all excuses to use whatever kawaii neko desu references he pleases and receive no negative feedback whatsoever! Good show lad, that'll show them!
Along with denial of his lower status, he has attempted to excuse himself from his love of growing tumors by throwing whatever bullshit reasons his bacon-encrusted head can muster.
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Of course, because breasts aren't sexual in any way. -
NOOO! Why no DFC! ;_; -
'cause it's not in what you do, but why you did it. -
Let's think with bewbs and jump to conclusions, eh?
Denial of Relations
The man seems tight-assed to all whenever inquiries are brought up, but after some digging, we have found the beautiful sight of him proclaiming his love to another... isn't that adorable? Matsu has found a friend in our wonderful Internet Bible Thumber, Realm-Of-The-Shadows!!
Don't the two seem to be such a cute couple? The wedding will likely happen sometime later in the year at their pace, so keep your calenders clean and your gifts handy! It'll be a stupendous union we haven't seen since Britney Spears had her (insert # here) husband!
Drop on by his site and be sure to spread the love! :D
External Links
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Matsu-sensei is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |