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Kevin Mann
Warning! This person is extremely bald! |
Kevin Mann, also known by the username KevinBusomJack and BusomJack can best be described as the alpha manlet and king of the Rape Face™. Prowling his way through various hair loss forums, Kevin quickly established himself as a mighty faggot, brandishing his "wisdom" about various anti-balding drugs (ask him about the conspiracy against finasteride,) women and their secret rape hunger, how teenagers make the best lays and most importantly, fitness advice.
Perhaps the most hilarious thing we here at ED managed to figure out was that despite his fitness regimen bulking him to STR +18 he envies the physique of black, mahogany sun gods. So much so, that it wasn't hard to figure out he got off on the cuck.
However none of that is compared to the incestuous, loli loving confessions that Kevin hilariously left sprinkled about the internet. Sprinkles that we here at ED ravenously consumed.
Ho-ly shit those sprinkles were good.
Arrival of the Finasteride Fitness Master
It is generally agreed that Kevin Mann graced the presence of ae sometime in December 2014. For a time, he did as any good faggot ought to; lurk and lurk and fucking lurk some more. Yet, as all newfags have to pop their cherry some time, Kevin did not disappoint when he decided to unbutton his cock holster. Yet even before he decided that it was a good idea to browse ED, Kevin had a history of saying shit no one cares about to, well... no one who cares.
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On top of spouting things no one cares about in an attempt to emulate that which is already bad, he also goes on about finasteride, a hair loss drug that he claims changed his life and made him not look like a child rapist, just a regular one. And god damn those exercise and diet videos. If you weren't sure he was gay or trolling, you'd never doubt yourself again when you see him preening his self-image, showing off his massive pump and protein intake.
Say, speaking of balding...
Kevin has a confession to make: His genetic material was so beta that his hair follicles decided that he wasn't manly enough to have follicular fullness and rather than continue to exist, they committed seppuku to save their honor from such an inferior head. However, Kevin Mannlet being the cowardly shogun that he was decided to consult the blackest of the black arts; SCIENCE.
That's right, fags. Instead of letting nature give him a natural barrier between him and any hope of consensual intercourse (and sparing the genepool his pasty, inferior genes) he instead decided to cheat himself by installing hairplugs.exe onto his scalp. For a guy who loves touting that he's proud of his genetic predisposition to rapeface, this goes to show the average aediot that Kevin is extremely vain to a point where even Narcissus would envy how much autofellatio Kevin gives himself. This means Kevin does what any manlet would do to compensate for his lack of hair and a big black swangy dick; get buff and tell people how to live their lives.
See, it's not enough to Kevin to just exercise and shut the fuck up. No, Kevin is the kind of faggot who exercises his ego more than anything else, whether it be by telling imaginary people how to live their lives or attempting to troll with predictable results just so he can stroke his ego with delusions of win to quell the lingering fear of big, black stallions and their relationship ruining cocks.
On top of all this charming character, Kevin also happens to be quite the racist...or so he says. (You'll get it later. Stick with it, faggot.) Kevin claims:
—Kevin Mann, putting on his beard to hide his cuck lust. |
It's extremely ironic then, that for all his exercises, white pride, 'life' lessons and dietary supplements that Kevin is a total fucking cuck, considering he without fail -always- shows up when he hears about a white woman getting plowed by a genetically superior African He-God with a foot long cock so he can show how not secretly gay for black men he really is.
The Bald Truth
See, for all his "racism" and various attempts to preserve a youth that frankly left him a long time ago, it's all a smokescreen to hide a deep, deep seated inferiority complex. In fact, Kevin is so full of bullshit that his various issues bleed into one another like some sort of sad, watery gumbo. Consider for a moment; his hair. You may ask yourself "Why think about that which is not there?" Well, if you observe the picture of the big uncle above, you will see that Kevin envies the nigra's ability to go bald and not look like Kevin. For a person whose ego is conjoined at the dick with his appearance, this perceived 'slight' by the negro race (Better genetics, duh) turned into outward hatred and internal ebony lust.
—Kevin |
But of course, even that isn't Kevin's worst character quality.
The Bald Truth II: Bald Harder
Oh my fucking shit, where do we begin this section? As previously mentioned, Kevin has a history of posting stupid shit. No more so was this prevalent than on ebaumsworld, a cesspit of degenerates and tryhards. Yet, even in this place Kevin could not find the acceptance he craved. His pathetic beta attitude combined with his infantile need for ego stroking basically guaranteed he'd be laughed off the forum.
But holy shit, nobody could predict the absolute lollercaust Kevin would inflict on himself. So, to begin, let's start with an appetizer:
Are you titty-lated? Are you curious? I certainly hope so viewer, because what follows next is a veritable deluge of lulz.
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He'll thank you personally with a healthy, delicious meal.
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What makes me gay?
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"I sometimes masturbate with coconut oil."
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Denied.
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This is CWC levels of failure.
Holy fucking shit you guys.
So, not only is Kevin a person with deep developmental and sexual issues, he's also a confirmed kiddy fiddler and a fan of keeping it in the family. This would explain his creepy predilection towards teenage girls, as only a teenager would be dumb enough to fuck Kevin and not a big, black Cassius looking motherfucker who is obviously genetically superior to Kevin Mannlet in every which way.
Then there's the whole "I used a tug jug to try and get someone pregnant" thing. Which is a thing, for some reason. Kevin, being a Western educated milquetoast dandy should have known that simply refrigerating his failspunk would not keep his sperm viable. What a dumb ass. Even more hilarious is that this goes to further prove how beta (we should downgrade to omega by now) he is; He claims to have wanted a child to give his life meaning, but instead of being a bossdick and just fucking a baby into her, he tried to use retard science.
Kevin claims that these posts were the result of him being haxxed, which ED attorneys-at-lol will tell you is a classic evasion tactic known as "The DivineAngel Doubleplay, in which you simply claim hax in lieu of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. You know, lying.
but like always, there is more.
But of course, we here at ED research our lolcows throughly, and see that this is not an isolated incident:
See also
- Shahn Christian Andersen- Similar in that they both share a crippling obsession with their physical flaws.
- Luka Magnotta- lol
External links
- His bald FB
- EDF's official Kevin Mann thread (Just as bald)
- His balding channel
- His other balding channel
Featured article March 23 & 24, 2015 | ||
Preceded by Sons of Kojima |
Kevin Mann | Succeeded by Nolongersilenced |