Helmet Heroes
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THIS GAME IS FUCKING DEAD!!! |
Helmet Heroes is an MMORPG made by Robby Scherer in 2013 so he can make cash through virtual currency. It's been advertised on Newgrounds since the day it came out since it was running out of decent games, leading it to gain a niche playerbase of 13 year olds. It's also been released on mobile phones and Steam, which just led to people calling Robby out on not fixing his broken fucking game.
You fight monsters to gain money so you can buy equipment to continue fighting monsters, or you can just sell your ass for a level 300 Stalker Jr. You level up and pick stats to increase, or you can be a dumbass and increase dexterity. With level ups come skill points, which you can spend on skills with vague descriptions, or you could spend it on Quick Avoidance if you hate yourself. There is also a PVP server where only highly skilled players play, so you may aswell just spread your legs for them to take your cash. Overall, it's a better waste of time than World of Warcraft.
Classes
Warrior: The one only retarded faggots pick, with shit range and special skills, leading to hilarious deaths until said players quit and pick one of the better classes. You can pick between two handed or one handed swords, but you only pick the ladder unless you're a dumb fucking idiot. You can also replace one of your two single blades with a shield, but it's so terrible even the lowest of Warrior players despise it.
Archer: Another shitty class played by plebians, absolutely inferior to the Cowboy, but atleast his specials are more respectable than the Warrior's. Nothing much to note other than that.
Wizard: A better Warrior since he can actually fucking attack without getting damaged by Kreetus's mega dick, but he uses MP with his regular attacks, meaning you have to keep a stack of watermelonz to force feed your character. His specials are the best in the game, one of which automatically hits you with a giant ass thunder cloud, killing you instantly.
Cowboy: The Archer's daddy, played most commonly by counter strike playing children. He has a large variety of school supplies, in which he uses to be the best class in the game. He has the choice of using automatic guns, or two very specific rifles, more notably the Sniper Rifle, an overpowered piece of shit used by Sintique wannabes who like to randomly spam Space alot.
Notable Members
Robby: The creator of Helmet Heroes, most known for being a filthy jew and dropping special items on event which you can use to boost your ego or make moar money, known for also hating chinks. He is known for promising things instead of fixing the current product, most notably in an interview hosted by the old Helmet Heroes website, where he discussed the possibility of a TV show and toys. This is why the game is a bug ridden mess.
Coke_na_rc: The world's most dedicated Helmet Heroes player and also the only notable admin of the game. He constantly checks the forum for bug reports but Robby is too much of a stuck up faggot and refuses to listen. He's known for having the most overall points in the game, because the player with the highest level is actually someone asking for Robby to fix his broken fucking game, which allowed him to gain an unreasonable level.
Miso: Also known as MisoSoup247, he is the only individual who uploads decent quality Youtube videos and art about the game. He is more known about being absent than actually playing the game, although he did return recently to receive a Bouncer Hat via drawing contest, which was then buffed for no fucking reason.
Kakai: The actual highest leveled player except for that, nothing else about him is notable.
Philippines
The Philippines were known to host the most hackers and scammers of the game's history, which resulted in them becoming a running joke in the community. On that fatefull day, March 23rd 2016, Robby banned the creation of any new accounts from the Philippines, to which nobody actually cared, not even the Philippinos themselves.
In the end, they just ended up using VPNs like a bunch of 3XTR3M3 H4XX0R5.
Features
Pets: Stat boosters and XP farmers, and they also give you Shinny balls that make you feel special. There are several pets, The shitty ones which dont do jack shit like the sick joke that is the Baby Bounce and the approprately named after it's user's Ritardo, Mount pets which you only use until you realise they also take damage and die to anything other than Green Walkers, and the only useful ones that can barely compare to the Stalker Jr. They have completely taken over trading, making every trade start with "see pet", but since new players always want a pokemon to come along with them on their quest, you can easily sell them a Baby Bounce for 500k, until they ask for their money back.
Chopping and Fishing: Some pointless chores you only do because of...
Crafting: Tedious purchases that are not fun to complete and just clog up inventory space with wood blocks and fucking fish just so you can get that one special item you needed.
Rage: The most fucking retarded feature in the game. Originally is was as simple as pressing a button and being stronger, now you gotta charge up "Energy" by holding down R for a fucking eternity or just playing the game, but the technique always comes off as as underwhelming and pointless, much like Robby's penis.
Missions: Some pointless shit new players do to advance the "story" and get a very small amount of XP.
Payvault
The Payvault was one of the main reasons Robby considered making this game, as proven by the same old interview on the old Helmet Heroes website. It offers virtual currency for real cash, which you can use to buy accesories which offer no real advantage, or abuse the economy to make instant millions. You'd think the community would react madly with their game being a pay2win mess, but they're not really annoyed at all.