Fighting game forums
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Fighting game forums (aka Faggot gay forums) are were basement-dwellers come to argue and complain about dumb shit pertaining to fighting video games. 99% of discussions are people bitching that one character is cheap for X reason and the other character is overpowered for Y reason (like the game companies really give a shit). The other 1% are ITG tourneyfags talking big shit that they would never dare say to someone in real life.
The forums are most famous for members communicating in their own nerd-language. Take the following post for example:
—Anonymous | ||
Only the most elite keyboard champions can talk big shit here. If you didn't memorize every special move name (in English and Japanese) or slang acronyms, you are obviously a noob faggot who should "go back to Call of Duty" because fighting games obviously take more skill than Calculus IV and Ghosts 'n Goblins combined.
Internet Community
Ironically, these Xbox warriors who boast about fighting games being more complicated than programming the LHC often lose to totally clueless noobs spamming fireballs with Ryu or Ken. The entire community is just one huge shithole of Japanophiles complaining about stupid bullshit that nobody in the outside world even thinks about.
Some commonly seen threads include:
- X character needs NO SKILL! For noobs only!
This is when a pro Street Fighter champion loses to a casual Ryu/Ken player who doesn't even know the characters' names. Because clearly if they lost, it's because the opponent's character was cheap and not because they suck.
- What does "QCF" mean?
When a totally normal person asks a question, the keyboard knights grab their swords and flame the topic creator because they are jealous that he actually has a life and doesn't sit behind his TV practicing Street Fighter combos all day.
- X character needs to be nerfed/buffed!
When a player doesn't like how a certain character works, it's because the game designers fucked up. The topic creator lists a bunch of changes that would make the game better, as if Capcom actually gives a fuck about your opinion after you already payed them $60 for the game.
- WILL THIS BE DLC???
Whenever Capcom announces an upgraded version of their game, at least 10 people will ask if its DLC or not. They still have not realized that every new version of Street Fighter ends up being a $60 retail game that they have to buy again.
- Did you see X vs Y at Evo yesterday?
Believe it or not, people stay up-to-date with the events of "pro" gamers who actually take this shit seriously in real life. The anime nerds from Youtube cheer and woo at their computer screens as if it's the FIFA World Cup final. Except it's a fucking video game. The whole thread is just people saying "at 3:16 he should have done X instead" as if they know what the fuck they're talking about.
- Should I switch to X character?
Losers have these things called "mains", which is basically the one character that they play as the most. People make this thread as if playing as another character in a video game is like transferring between universities. Yes, they take it that seriously.
- Question about the ending (spoilers)?
This is when people who actually care about about the storyline ask a question regarding a cutscene, even though it's clear that no plot in any fighting game makes any fucking sense at all. 99% of these threads end up in a shitstorm of trolls posting "Who cares about story in a fighting game?" over and over again.
- OMFG I can't believe Daigo did that!
These idiots keep up with Street Fighter tournaments as if they are NFL seasons. When some pro Asian player does something extremely dramatic and life-changing, like changing his character, everyone goes up in arms like the U.S. president changed parties.
- New tier list from Japan!!!!! (UPDATED!!!)
Japanese nerds sit at their arcade experimenting with every possible combination of moves available in the game, calculate the numbers and then devise a "tier list". It's always a lose-lose situation because if you use any of the top 5 characters, you are automatically a tier whore and if you use the bottom 5, you are a "lol noob that didn't read the latest tier list!!!"
- Is there a big tournament scene here?
Nerds plan to meet up and jerk off while they play their favorite video games. They discuss tips and strategies on how to play the game and then upload the matches to Youtube in hopes that they will one day be a professional player!
- I can't believe they changed X character!
When a new version of Street Fighter comes out, Capcom usually modifies some of the characters' abilities in attempt to keep it balanced, when in reality they just end up fucking it up even further. Players come here to bitch and moan about how their main character now sucks, when in reality they are just a bunch of spoiled crybabies who suck at video games and blame everything on the programmers. Everything. Seriously.
Real Life Community
Believe it or not, people discuss this shit in real life. The fighting game tournament community is mostly made up of wiggers and wannabe tough guys, because playing children's video games shows how much of a badass you are.
An example of typical tournament players discussing upcoming matches. Skip to 3:01 and watch the magic happen.
A typical argument at EVO. Just skip to 1:23 and prepare for your face and palm to meet.
The EVO Championship
Every year, a bunch of faggots from the Shoryuken.com forums host an event called EVO (Everlasting Virginity Optimism) where virgins from all over the world come together to prove who can go the longest without getting laid. The hardcore players attend every year because it is the one chance in their life when they can crawl out from their filthy, dark basements and actually go outside and socialize with other humans (even though they are all basement-dwellers).
The main goal is to show off your techniques of how to avoid social interaction with girls. They use pussy-deflecting equipment such as customized arcade sticks and shirts with Street Fighter combos printed on them. Afterwards, they meet up in a hotel room and watch the top players compete in the final championship. Nobody stops to realize that they payed real life U.S. dollars to come together and watch a bunch of faggots play a shitty Xbox game.
At every tournament, the same totally expected and obvious outcome happens: the Japanese guy wins. HOLY SHIT! Who would have thought? The Asians then fly back home and laugh at all the stupid Americans who actually thought they had a chance of beating them at a Japanese video game. The keyboard warriors then crawl back into their dark basements and spend the next 11 months practicing on their plastic arcade sticks, waiting for the next tournament.
Games
- Street Fighter Forums
The most common forum on the net. Mostly people talking shit back and forth about how Ryu, Ken, Akuma, and Sagat are the cheapest characters ever. Elitist dickheads eventually show up and say that Street Fighter 4 sucks and Street Fighter 3 is for "real men", an obvious contradiction because real men don't play children's video games.
- Marvel vs Capcom 2 Forums
This is where keyboard warriors discuss how to win the game using glitches and bugs. Unlike normal people who enjoy playing as their favorite characters, the MvC2 champions only pick the top 4 characters and spend years sitting behind their computer, memorizing every possible glitch and exploit in the game, in a race to see who can go the longest without getting laid.
- Tekken Forums
Bla bla bla juggling is cheap bla bla Tekken 6 sucks bla bla Christie is so sexy I want to fuck her in the ass bla bla bla Eddy is a cheap faggot bla bla tekken takes way more skill than street fighter right guys!???
- King of Fighters Forums
The hipsters of video games. They talk about how Capcom is the dark, greedy corporation of the game industry and how SNK are the sweet and innocent game company that certainly doesn't steal ideas from every fucking game Capcom has ever made. Just register an account and say that King of Fighters XI is the worst game in the series, and watch the nerd rage unfold.
- Super Smash Bros. Forums
The most hilarious of all FGFs. Just imagine Star Trek geeks choking each other's necks over some dumb movie argument, except they are arguing over who would win in a fight between Zelda and Pikachu. Nintendo fanboys constantly go to war with the other game forums because they want to be "accepted" into their nerd communities. They ironically call other fighting games "button mashers" while SSB uses just 1 attack button.
Famous Sites
The breeding ground for 15 year old kids who like to show off their Xbox achievements and PS3 trophies, growing their internet dick to maximum level! It's mostly just retards wanting to boycott Capcom for charging for DLC and modifying their favorite character (even though they will gladly shell out $60 for the new version of the game anyway).
- Shoryuken.com
This is where tourneyfags come to jerk off to "professional" video gamers and obsess over every tiny piece of news that comes from Japanese magazines. They crouch around preview screenshots like starving meerkats on a piece of bread and try to decifer what new features the game could possibly have, or who Daigo's main character will be. Do not fuck with these badasses, because they can beat you in a video game!
- Eventhubs.com
These are the guys who keep the nerds up-to-date with the latest tier list info and current status of professional Japanese gamers, like they are tracking stat records for the MLB players. Click on any front-page article and read the comments for some lulz. The site is famous for its retarded comment boards, much like IMDb is to films.
How can I help?
YOU can help fight these basement-dwellers by trolling the fuck out of every fighting game forum on the net. If you do, you are doing a good deed for your people, and making the internet a better place.
Trolling Street Fighter Players
- Say that Street Fighter is a mainstream, unbalanced piece of shit and 90% of its players are 16 year olds from the 50 Cent generation.
- Tell them that no matter how much they hate Capcom, they continue to purchase every $60 game "update" that Capcom shits out of its cash-vacuuming ass.
- Remind them that they've spent over $100+ on every version of Street Fighter II and still cannot manage to beat an average Ryu player.
- Say anything even remotely negative about Daigo Umehara or any other Japanese player. This is guaranteed to create a 3-page shitstorm, especially on Shoryuken.com.
- Ask them why they spent $20+ of real life currency on virtual costumes.
- Ask them what it feels like to masturbate to cartoon drawings.
Trolling Marvel vs Capcom 2 Players
- Ask them why they refuse to play the game for normal fun and have to take everything so seriously, and why a children's video game starring X-Men and Spiderman characters means so much to them.
- Say that you like playing the game for fun.
- Ask them why are a bunch of pussies who rely on glitching to win, and if they've ever considered playing the game like normal.
- Ask them why they are playing a 10-year-old Sega Dreamcast game. Tell them that Marvel vs Capcom 2 was cool was when it came out 10 fucking years ago and nobody but them plays it anymore.
Trolling Smash Bros. Players
- Remind them that they are playing a Nintendo game involving Pikachu and Sonic and actually taking it seriously.
- Tell them that Nintendo and Pokemon are for 10 year olds. Say that you remember playing Pokemon when you were in 4th grade, and have since moved on to better things like sports and having friends.
- Say that Street Fighter is very technical and takes WAY more skill than Smash Bros. This is guaranteed to cause a 10-page hurricane of flaming destruction lead by the most elite computer champions.
- Ask them how it feels to wear video game shirts in public and if they've ever approached a human of the female gender once in their life. If they are above college age, do not bother asking the former because we all know the answer.
- Remind them that the game has more than 1 stage.
See Also
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