Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 15, 2022

Bitcoin

Bitcoin is what would happen if reddit were allowed to invent their own form of money. While redditors certainly love Bitcoin, it was in fact invented in 2008 by a mysterious pseudonymous libertarian going by the name Satoshi Nakamoto. Bitcoin claims to be a peer-to-peer cryptocurrency, which is a fancy way of saying it's the bittorrent of money. Bitcoin is well-known for being an avenue for criminality, especially in the sale of drugs and for money laundering, despite the fact that every transaction is publicly broadcast as part of its protocol. Bitcoin has built up an impressive following of neckbeards, autists, scam artists, and cultists over the course of its first six years of existence.

It was a way to steal monies from society by contributing exactly nothing in return until the bubble burst and it fully became mainstream. After it hit 18-19K it crashed (and is still crashing). All people who have profited off of bullshit coin are lucky bastards but it's clear now that it will not happen again.

Like other successful forms of money, the value of Bitcoin is measured in US Dollars and is obsessively monitored by failed day traders. Wide swings in value are not uncommon, in fact it's more unusual for Bitcoin's value to remain stable for more than a day or two. Originally, the value was hard to track, which led to the formation of virtual currency exchanges, the largest of which was the Magic: the Gathering Online eXchange, or MtGOX for short. It was here that Bitcoin's "value", driven by insider trading and bots, rocketed from a few cents to over $1200. Once it reached this lofty high, MtGOX announced that they were insolvent and closed down, essentially stealing or destroying thousands of nerds' "money". This process was imitated and repeated by numerous lesser exchanges and continues to this day. The current value of Bitcoin can be calculated by triggering a random number generator.

As of 2022, the crypto market has been in a free fall. Hope you didn't spend TOO much on shitcoins.

(( OH SHIT I INVESTED ALL MY MONEY IN A PYRAMID SCHEME LOL ))

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