Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/December 17, 2022

R. Kelly

R. Kelly (Powerword: Robert Sylvester Kelly) is a now disgraced 57-year old Basketball American artist once praised by his 'people' and vaguely gay music critics as "the king of R&B" ("Rapists & Blacks") before the inevitable collapse of his underground Africunny empire and subsequent capture. Back in the 1990s, this man's 'music' and uniquely high-pitched singing voice was the soundtrack to many a lonely nights masturbating in the bedroom with lights off. Every time one of his generic songs came on, teenage girls tended to turn into nymphomaniacs, and then proceeded to get raped by anyone within spitting distance. This turned out to be his very intention as it was later revealed he was using his music to sonically groom young girls into becoming his personal piss napkins.

(( NEW R. KELLY ALBUM CALLED "I ADMIT IT" JUST DROPPED ))

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